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翻译：赛太公 猫中之王 YY 独醉
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后期：孤帆 时间轴：YY
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校对：赛太公 总监：YY
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生活大爆炸 第六季第二集
下一个结婚礼品是 And the next wedding gift is
调味肉汁壶 a gravy boat.
挺好 肉汁壶一个 Ooh, one gravy boat.
那是谢尔顿送的哦 That's from Sheldon.
他说他还在上面刻字了 He told me he had it engraved.
"如不幸离婚 "In the event of a divorce,
请物归原主" please return to Sheldon Cooper."
"乱来 One "Inappropriate,
而我却当初没想到"的调味肉汁壶一个 yet I wish I thought of that" gravy boat.
等我结婚 我要去洛杉矶加州大学 When I get married I'm going to register
尸体实验室登记礼物 at the UCLA Cadaver Lab.
恶心 为什么呀 Ew, why?
我一直想要一副人体骨架 'Cause I've always wanted a whole human skeleton
但那个真的好贵 and they are really spendy.
所以 你真的觉得你和谢尔顿会有天结婚吗 So, you actually see you and Sheldon getting married someday?
不是有天 Not just someday.
确切说来是四年后 In exactly four years.
但先别给谢尔顿漏口风 But don't tell Sheldon.
他还是只会飞的鸭子呢 He's still a flight risk.
那你呢 佩妮 What about you, Penny?
我怎么了 What about me what?
你觉得你会跟莱纳德结婚吗 Do you think you and Leonard might ever get married?
这个嘛 Oh, well, you know,
莱纳德是个好男人 Leonard is great.
你觉得你们会结婚吗 But do you think you'll ever get married?
他很贴心哦 He's a sweetie.
你在顾左右而言他 You're not answering the question.
你爱他吗 Do you love him?
当然 我当然爱他啊 Yeah, sure, of course I love him.
听起来不太像啊 It doesn't sound like it.
但我的确爱他啊 Well, I do.
你有对他说吗 Do you tell him that?
没 他一定会理解错的 No, he'd just take it the wrong way.
你什么意思 What does that mean?
我的意思是他很特别 有才 人好 It means he is special and smart and nice and...
-你要跟他分手啦 -没有啊 - Are you gonna break up with him? - No!
可能吧 我也不知道 Maybe. I don't know.
我不知道原来你爱得不开心 I had no idea you were unhappy.
重点就在这 我没有不开心 That's the thing: I'm not.
我完全没有不开心 只是... I'm not unhappy at all. It's just... I don't know...
我以前也爱过 但感觉跟现在不一样 I-I've been in love before, but it felt different.
这可能是一段全新更好 但无聊的爱情 But maybe this is a new, better, boring kind of love.
你对霍华德有过这种感觉吗 Do you ever feel that way about Howard?
拿我男人跟你男人比不太公平啊 Oh, that's not really a fair comparison.
我嫁的可是性感版的巴斯光年 I'm basically married to a sexy Buzz Lightyear.
艾米 你呢 Amy, you?
这我也回答不了 Can't help ya, kid.
待在谢尔顿身边的每分每秒 Whenever I'm around Sheldon,
胯下都如同火焰在烧 I feel like my loins are on fire.
是欲火 In the good way.
不是尿路感染的灼烧感 Not the urinary tract infection way.
兄弟 你在上面好吗 Hey, buddy, how's it going up there?
拉杰 你不用大声吼啦 You don't have to shout, Raj.
我又不是什么飘浮在外太空的宇航员 It's not like I'm an astronaut floating around in outer space.
不对 我还真是啊 Oh, wait, I am.
那里是否就像你梦想中那样 So, is it everything you hoped it would be?
棒多了 It's better.
每早醒来 我还是不敢相信 I wake up every morning and I just can't believe
我有幸来到这美妙的旅途上 I'm on this incredible adventure.
果麦圈客 Hey, Froot Loops,
你去刷马桶了吗 did you clean the space toilet?
拜托 我在跟我朋友说话呢 Excuse me. I'm talking to my friends.
规矩你懂 新人负责刷马桶 You know the rules: new guy scrubs the toilet.
你好好干 下次说不定赏你个马桶刷用用 If you do good job, next time we give you brush.
真会说笑 Funny.
我们大家都很喜欢闹闹对方 We're always giving each other a hard time up here.
就像在兄弟会一样 It's kind of like being in a frat.
打打闹闹 伤害一下对方心灵 You know, joking, kidding around, hurting feelings.
好了 轮到我跟他说话了 Okay, my turn. Let me talk to him.
说吧说吧 Go ahead.
2311 北罗伯斯大街 2311 North Los Robles Avenue,
帕萨迪纳市 加州 与国际太空站对话 Pasadena, California to International Space Station.
听到请回答 完毕 Can you read me? Over.
听到你了 谢尔顿 Yes, I read you, Sheldon.
收到 完毕 Copy that. Over.
你这是在干嘛 What are you doing?
我在跟一个身在太空的人说话 I am talking to a man in space.
不弄那个声音[昆德音調] If you don't have the
昆德音調: 早期太空任务中对讲器开通与关闭时的声响]
他在太空或是附近的咖啡店又有何区别 then he might as well be at the Coffee Bean over on Lake Street.
你疯了吧 谢尔顿 You're out of your mind, Sheldon.
你说得不对 我妈早带我验过了 完毕 That's a negative. My mother had me tested. Over.
快啊 去刷干净 小圈儿 Come on, scrub it up, Loops.
好啦好啦 All right, all right.
我得走了 I gotta go.
要去看流星雨了 There's a meteor shower.
你想看流星雨吗 You want to see a meteor shower?
迪米特里在厕所里就给你留了"流星雨" Take a look at what Dimitri just left you in the toilet.
再见啦 Bye.
通话完毕 Over and out.
再见啦 兄弟 Bye, buddy!
大家好啊 Hello.
斯图尔特 进来吧 Hey, Stuart, come on in.
你来这里干嘛 What are you doing here?
拉杰邀请我跟你们一起去看电影 Um, Raj invited me to go to the movies with you guys.
请问一下 Excuse me.
我没批准过哦 I didn't authorize this.
谢尔顿 你又不是老大 Sheldon, you are not in charge.
某人马上要接受 That's mighty sassy for a man
室友评测检验了 说这话真是不知死活 with a roommate performance review around the corner.
带他又怎么样 What's the big deal?
你们都带女朋友去 You guys are bringing your girlfriends.
问题是我以为今天会是 The big deal is I was expecting us
亲密无间的五人组 to be an intimate group of five.
现在我们就成了 Now, we're going to be a...
名都叫不出来的六人堆 faceless mass of six.
没事的 就把他当成沃罗威茨吧 It'll be fine. Just, uh, pretend he's Wolowitz.
你喜欢巧克力葡萄干吗 Do you like Raisinets?
不喜欢也不讨厌 I can take them or leave them.
看电影时 沃罗威茨总是吃巧克力葡萄干 At the movies, Wolowitz always eats Raisinets.
如果我吃 你会比较高兴吗 Would you feel more comfortable if I ate Raisinets?
你吃什么管我屁事 Well, it's hardly my business what you eat,
只要不发出噪音打扰电影 as long as it doesn't crunch during the film
并且是葡萄干就好 and it's Raisinets.
好吧 Okay.
我们能走了吗 Should we go?
等等 还有一个问题 Yeah, but, one more question.
如果你想取代沃罗威茨 If you're going to replace Wolowitz,
我还得再深入了解你一点 I need to know a little more about you.
随你 All right.
沃罗威茨念过麻省理工 Wolowitz went to MIT.
你的教育背景是什么 What's your educational background?
我上过美术学校 I went to art school.
都一样可笑 走吧 Equally ridiculous. Let's go.
这种对牵手的坚持实在太荒谬了 This insistence on hand-holding is preposterous.
我就喜欢 Well, I like it.
你当然喜欢了 Yeah, of course you do.
你是女生 弱智的事你都喜欢 You're a girl. You like all kinds of hippy-dippy things.
看你的电影就好 Just watch the movie.
真不公平 It's not fair.
佩妮就不逼莱纳德牵她手 Penny isn't making Leonard hold hands.
那是事出有因的 There might be a reason for that.
手汗多 Sweaty?
不卫生 Unhygienic?
看着傻 Looks dumb?
你选一个吧 Take your pick.
佩妮说她不确定 Penny said she's not sure
自己是否还想和莱纳德继续交往 she wants to be Leonard's girlfriend anymore.
错了 她刚喝了他的低卡胡椒博士汽水 Wrong. She just took a sip from his Diet Dr. Pepper.
那又如何 So?
如果她想结束和莱纳德的情侣关系 So, if she wants to end her pair-bond with Leonard,
又怎么会去如饮佳酿一般地 why on earth would she guzzle a witches' brew
喝下他的汽水与口水呢 of his soda and spit?
个中缘由很复杂 It's complicated.
弦理论才叫复杂 String theory is complicated.
这只是令人作呕 That's just yucky.
想都不要想 Don't get any ideas.
好吧 就当你说的是真的 All right, for the sake of argument, let's say that's true.
佩妮为什么想结束这段关系呢 Why doesn't Penny just end the relationship?
她不太确定自己的感受 She's not sure how she feels.
她怎么能不确定自己的感受呢 How can she not be sure how she feels?
当我有感受的时候 我就很明确 You know, when I have a feeling, I know it.
火车 好喜欢 Trains? Love them.
剑鱼 同样喜欢 Swordfish? I love them, too.
它们可是鼻子配有利剑的鱼 They're fish with a sword for a nose.
无论如何 千万别告诉莱纳德 Regardless, don't say anything to Leonard.
你这是要我对 Now you're asking me to keep a secret
我的密友 同事以及室友保守秘密吗 from my best friend, colleague, and roommate?
没错 拜托了 佩妮知道会杀了我的 Yes, please, Penny will kill me.
好吧 Fine.
随便一提 保守秘密 最讨厌了 FYI, secret-keeping? Hate it.
牵手 不喜欢 Hand-holding? Not a fan.
锤头鲨 好喜欢 Hammerhead shark? I love that thing.
又是一种头上带工具的鱼哦 Yeah, it's another fish with a tool on its head.
吃巧克力葡萄干不 Raisinet?
嘘 我们正忙着看电影呢 Shh, we're trying to watch the movie.
他和我们的气场不合 This is not working out with him.
你在干什么 What are you doing?
我好像有牙垢堆积 I think I might have tartar buildup.
我舌头伸不到以前那么长了 My tongue won't go as far forward as it used to.
也许是你的舌头缩水了 Maybe your tongue is shrinking.
没有 Nope.
你绝对想不到这有多烦人 Oh, you have no idea how annoying this is.
我已经开始有所体会了 I'm starting to get a sense of it.
别担心 我明天带你去看牙医 Don't worry. I'll take you to the dentist tomorrow.
谢了 Thank you.
我很感激你 I appreciate that.
你是个好人 莱纳德 You're good people, Leonard.
有件事我必须告诉你 There's something I need to tell you.
说吧 Okay.
可我不能告诉你 I can't tell you.
为啥 Why?
我不能说出不能告诉你的原因 I can't tell you why I can't tell you.
所以我有两件事不能告诉你 So I guess there's two things I can't tell you.
我真希望还有更多 I wish there were more.
晚安 Good night.
抱歉 I'm sorry.
-这事实在太重要 -到底什么事 - This is really important. - What is it?
我喜欢变形金刚 I like The Transformers.
你喜欢变形金刚吗 Do you like The Transformers?
你妈到底是带你上哪去检查的 Where exactly did your mother have you tested?
莱纳德 Leonard,
变形金刚告诉我们 The Transformers teach us
事情的真相往往与其外在表现不同 that things are not always what they appear to be.
你知道 就像 You know, like, uh,
半拖挂卡车可能是外星机器人 a semi truck might be an alien robot,
或者两个热恋中的人可能 or, uh, someone in a romantic relationship, uh, might feel
会有不同的感受 differently than they appear to.
又或者一段关于 Or a conversation
变形金刚的对话其实指的是 about The Transformers might actually be
这客厅里的某位仁兄 about someone in this room.
我暂停一下以便你想一下 I'm going to pause to let that sink in.
-我想我听懂了 -真的吗 - Okay, I think I understand. - You do?
你就是那个仿佛无血无泪的机器人的仁兄 The guy who seems like an emotionless robot is you...
但你和艾米的感情正让你变成 but your relationship with Amy is causing you to transform
一个有血有肉有性欲的人 into a red-blooded man with sexual desires.
这真是我听过最愚蠢的言论了 That is literally the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
莱纳德 Leonard?
莱纳德 Leonard.
莱纳德 Leonard?
干嘛 What?
你睡觉了吗 Are you sleeping?
本来是 现在我要做恶梦了 I was. Now I'm having a nightmare.
你要干嘛 What do you want?
算了 我还是不能告诉你 Never mind. I still can't tell you.
佩妮 Penny?
佩妮 Penny.
上帝啊 Oh, my God.
谢尔顿 Sheldon?
你吓死我了 You frightened me.
你在我卧室干嘛 What are you doing in my bedroom?
我刚有敲过大门啊 Yeah, well, I knocked on the front door,
可你没听见 but you didn't hear it.
你是怎么进来的 你个怪胎 How did you even get in, you weirdo?
是吗 Yeah, really?
多年来 不断有陌生男人进出你家 I've seen strange men traipsing in and out of here for years,
可当是我时 就奇怪了 but when I do it, it's weird?
你要干嘛 谢尔顿 What do you want, Sheldon?
我有一点点睡不着 Oh, I was having a little trouble sleeping
然后我就想 and I just thought,
反正你醒了 我们来聊聊吧 uh, seeing as you're up, we could talk.
聊什么 Talk about what?
不知道耶 Oh, I don't know.
天气 可以拿来做木工活的鱼类 Uh, weather, uh, fish you could do carpentry with.
为什么莱纳德是一个这么迷人 Why Leonard is such an attractive
又称心的男友 and desirable boyfriend.
你选一个 由你做主 Yeah, pick one-- your choice.
谢尔顿 Sheldon.
你知道莱纳德的驾驶记录超完美 Did you know that Leonard has a perfect driving record
因此能享受到车险打折这件事吗 and enjoys the insurance discounts that go along with that?
很棒吧 Hubba-hubba.
-好吧 快回家 你个疯子 -对了 - Okay, go home, crazy man. - Yeah.
你知不知道 Did you know that
虽然莱纳德在我们国家不算高大 while Leonard is not considered a tall fellow in our country,
但在今日的朝鲜 他绝对是标准身高 in today's North Korea, he's downright average.
正所谓乘龙佳婿啊 Talk about a keeper.
好吧 艾米跟你说什么了 Okay, what did Amy tell you?
太棒了 Oh, very well.
你再不猜出来我也编不出提示了 I can't keep up this clever charade any longer.
她告诉我 She told me
你想跟莱纳德分手 that you were thinking of ending it with Leonard.
好吧 你听我说 Okay, you listen to me.
你想保护你朋友的做法真的很有爱 I think it's really sweet you're trying to protect your friend,
但这不关你的事 明白了吗 but this is none of your business. Got it?
纠正一下 这不是为了保护我的朋友 Excuse me. This is not about protecting my friend.
我是喜欢内稳态 I'm a big fan of homeostasis.
你知道这是什么意思吗 Do you know what that is?
-当然不知道 -好吧 - Of course not. - Yeah.
内稳态是指一个系统 Homeostasis refers to a system's ability
调节自身内部系统的能力 to regulate its internal environment
并维持其属性在一个常规的状态下 and maintain a constant condition of properties
就好像温度或酸碱度 like temperature or pH.
史上最烂的床边故事 Worst bedtime story ever.
我想说的是 My point is
我不喜欢事物发生变化 I don't like when things change.
所以无论你心里想什么 So, regardless of your feelings,
我希望你能跟莱纳德保持现状 I would like you to continue dating Leonard.
还有 And also,
说到改变 你最近换了不同味的洗发精 while we're on the subject, you recently changed your shampoo.
我不喜欢这个新香味 I'm not comfortable with the new scent.
麻烦别瞎换 用回青苹果味的 Please stop this madness and go back to green apple.
好吧 宝贝 我有很多事情琢磨 Okay, honey, I have a lot to figure out,
但在我想清之前 你不许告诉莱纳德一个字 and until I do, you are not to say a word to Leonard.
-明白了吗 -明白 - Do you understand? - I do.
-那洗发精的事情你明白了吗 -快滚 - You clear on the shampoo issue? - Get out.
-佩妮 -干嘛 - Penny? - What?
拜托不要伤害我的朋友 Please don't hurt my friend.
-这是我最不想做的事情 -谢谢 - That is the last thing I want to do. - Thank you.
椰子味 你想什么呢 Coconut? What were you thinking?
-你又不是跳草裙舞的 -快滚回家 - Are you a hula girl? - Get out!
你好 Hello?
你是怎么想的 居然告诉谢尔顿 What the hell is wrong with you? You told Sheldon?
你知道你把我置于一个多糟糕的处境吗 Do you know what a terrible position this puts me in?
等下 Hang on, please.
你好 Hello?
提醒你一下 Yeah, just a heads-up:
佩妮知道你泄露了关于莱纳德的事 Penny knows that you blabbed about Leonard.
她气疯了 She's pretty mad.
我知道 I know.
她现在打电话嚷我呢 She's yelling at me right now.
好吧 你都知情了就好 All right then, so we're all on the same page.
好啦 Yeah.
小妮妮 Hey, Bernie.
我的老公仔 There's my hubby.
在上面一切还好吗 How's everything going up there?
还好啊 Oh, it's okay.
太空很美丽 Space is beautiful.
地球很漂亮 一切还是老样子 Earth is beautiful. Same old, same old.
-怎么了 -没事啊 - What's wrong? - Nothing.
一切都好 Everything's fine.
霍华德 Howard.
其他宇航员都欺负我 The other astronauts are being mean to me.
不是吧 他们怎么欺负你了 No, what are they doing?
像那天我还在睡觉 Well, like for instance, the other day when I was asleep,
其中一个出去太空漫步 one of the guys went on a space walk
然后在我窗外粘了大眼橡胶外星人的面具 and glued a big-eyed rubber alien mask to the outside of my window.
我醒来后 大概尖叫了九分钟 When I woke up, I screamed for like nine minutes.
可怜的华仔 Oh, Howie.
你想看的话看得到 视频网站有 You can see it if you want. It's on YouTube.
只需搜索"宇航员尖叫九分钟" Google "Astronaut screams for nine minutes."
你为什么不跟他们讲道理呢 Why don't you stand up to them?
我该说什么呢 What am I supposed to say?
不知道 I don't know.
就说 "欺负人不好 Say, "Being mean is lame.
对人友善才酷" What's cool is being nice."
哪天我想被人欺负到死 Great, I'll do that when I want to be the first guy
我就会说的 in space to get a wedgie.
要我打电话找太空总署的人吗 Do you want me to call somebody at NASA?
不用 No.
我妈已经打过了 My mom already tried that.
完全是火上浇油 It only made things worse.
粘性之球 Gelatinous Sphere.
专心蝗虫 Focused Locust.
叶氏圣殿 Temple of Yip.
抱歉 沃罗威茨绝不会出这张牌 I'm sorry. Wolowitz would never play that card.
好吧 幼年恶魔龟 All right, Lesser Demon Turtle.
妖精神怪 我赢了 Fairy God Monster, I win.
你对友谊的渴求令你破绽百出 Your desperate need for friendship makes you weak.
你们等下做什么 So, what are you guys doing later?
斯图尔特和我打算出去喝一杯 Stuart and I were thinking of going out for a drink.
我们打算去泡妞 We're gonna try to meet some girls.
因为我们是采花高手 'Cause that's what we do.
小心了 女士们 Watch out, ladies:
咖啡奶油黑白配来啦 a little coffee and cream coming your way.
怕你们不懂 咖啡是我 In case you didn't follow that, I'm the coffee.
莱纳德 Leonard?
不如你也和他们出去泡下妞吧 Maybe you'd like to go with them to meet girls.
我怎么会有兴趣 我有佩妮 Why would I be interested? I have Penny.
暂时有而已 Yeah, for now.
那女人可不是省油的灯 莱纳德 But that woman has a death wish, Leonard.
她跟陌生人讲话 她会逗陌生的狗 She talks to strangers; she pets unfamiliar dogs;
而且闯进她的卧室 and it is ridiculously easy
实在是莫名其妙的容易 to break into her apartment.
如果我是你 If I were you,
我会准备个后备 I'd get a back-up.
你不能用随便碰到的人取代 You can't just replace someone you care about
你喜欢的人 with some other random person.
拜托别破坏我的美梦 No, please don't ruin this for me.
你还记得启用爱德华·诺顿 Do you remember how upset I was
出演绿巨人的时候我有多愤怒吗 when they replaced Edward Norton as the Hulk?
记得 你嘟哝了一个星期说 Yes, you walked around for a week saying,
"谢尔顿对选角不满意"[绿巨人语气] "Sheldon unhappy with casting choice."
但马克·鲁法罗出演《复仇者联盟》里的 But, then Mark Ruffalo was the Hulk in The Avengers,
绿巨人时效果却更好 and he was even better.
你想说什么 What's your point?
就当我是浪漫主义者吧 Call me a romantic.
我觉得 I like to think
你还没碰到你的"马克·鲁法罗"呢 that your Mark Ruffalo is still out there somewhere.
真是莫名其妙 到底还要不要打牌 This is ridiculous. Are we gonna play cards or not?
我也喜欢马克·鲁法罗 I like Mark Ruffalo, too.
有节操点 伪沃罗威茨 Yeah, settle down there, Fake Wolowitz.
没人喜欢马屁精 No one likes a kiss-up.
我今早带了谢尔顿去看牙医 So, I had to take Sheldon to the dentist this morning.
-是吗 -对 - Really? - Yup.
我跟他说 如果他不咬牙医 I told him if he didn't bite the hygienist,
我就带他去吃冰淇淋 I'd take him for ice cream.
他咬了 我就省了一顿冰激凌 I didn't have to take him for ice cream.
你还好吗 You okay?
感觉有点心不在焉 You seem a little distracted.
听我说 我要跟你说件事 Look, there's something I need to tell you.
好的 Yeah, okay.
我真不知道该如何开口 I don't really know how to say this.
直说吧 Just say it.
好吧 那我就说了 Okay. Here goes.
你跟他上床了 You slept with him?
我不知道还能怎么办嘛 I didn't know what else to do.
他用可怜的星星大眼看着我 He had those big, sad eyes.
是啊 你也是"别无选择" Oh, sure, you had no choice.
他这样看着我 He looked at me like this.
这样就能拐你上床 Well, if that's all it takes,
那真是幸好你没养狗 it's a good thing you don't have a dog.
别担心 Don't worry.
你多的是能跟他分手的机会 You'll have plenty of chances to break up with him:
你们的大喜之日 蜜月旅行 Your wedding day, your honeymoon,
金婚纪念日 your 50th anniversary.
没事的 Look, it's fine.
我们不会结婚的 明白吗 We're not getting married, okay?
我们会保持内稳态 We're keeping things, you know, homeostasis.
她硬学那些词的样子好可爱 It's so cute when she tries.
莱纳德发来的 It's from Leonard.
昨晚妙不可言 "Last night was amazing.
你也妙不可言 You're amazing.
我真幸运 人生中有你相伴" I'm so lucky to have you in my life."
好啦 别闹了 Okay, stop it.
小妮妮 你猜怎么样 Hey, Bernie, guess what?
我照你说的 跟其他宇航员摊牌 I stood up to the other astronauts like you said
我得跟你说 昨晚是我这一周来 and I got to tell you, last night was the first time
第一次睡个安稳觉 in a week I got a good night's sleep.
华仔 Oh, Howie.
怎么啦 你一脸不开心的样子 What's wrong? You look upset.
没有啊 这是我为你骄傲的表情 Nope, this is my proud face.
果麦圈客[操小圈儿] F有fruit 也有fuck的意思