不靠谱实验室 翻译制作
翻译 Frank Sherry 隔壁老王
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总监 Frank
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大家好啊 Hello, everybody!
你好 Hello! Hello!
大家好 Hello!
非常感谢 Thank you so much.
你们好热情 What a welcome.
大家好 非常感谢 Hello. Thank you, everyone.
欢迎来到GT的录制现场 Welcome to The Grand Tour,
我们本周来到了尼斯湖边 which this week comes to you from the shores of Loch Ness
也就是苏格兰 -in Scotland!
现在... Now...
没错 Exactly.
现在 对于世界上大多数人来说 Now, to most people around the world,
苏格兰仅仅意味着一些美景 Scotland is just a bunch of scenery
以及在脸上涂油彩的梅尔吉布森 and Mel Gibson with some paint on his face.
但是实际上却远不仅如此 But actually it's a bit more than that.
我们这里列了一个单子 上面写着 What we have here is a list of all the important things
飞机
各种诞生于美国的伟大发明 that were invented in America, OK?
这些是各种来自德国的发明 This is what the Germans came up with.
汽车
接着是英国人的发明贡献 Then we've got the English contribution.
汽车
电脑
然后我们再看看法国人都做了什么 And then let's have a look at what France did.
吹风机
就这个 我可没有瞎编啊 That's it. I'm not making that up.
吹风机
还有卷笔刀 And the pencil sharpener.
可不是 还有卷笔刀呢 Oh, and the pencil sharpener!
现在咱们再一起来看一看 Now let's have a look at the list of things
苏格兰人民的伟大发明都有什么 that were invented by Scottish people.
真是... It's just...!
麻醉术 电烤箱 抽水马桶 彩色摄影术 英国特种空勤团 电冰箱 美国海军 蒸汽机 充气轮胎
格雷戈里望远镜 炼油术 冰球 大头钉 除草机 柏油 脚踏车 法国银行
雷达 电子钟 别克车 传真机 指纹技术 电话 电视 高尔夫
实在是难以置信 什么都有啊 It's unbelievable! It's everything!
无烟火药 克隆 彩色摄影术 Cordite. Cloning. Colour photography.
雷管 Percussion cap.
高尔夫 浓缩莱姆汁 这个单子可以一直写下去 Golf, lime cordial. I mean, the list goes on and on.
-别克车 Buick! -你先等一下 Hang on a minute.
*别克品牌是由苏格兰人大卫 ·邓巴· 别克在美国创立的
上面写的美国海军是什么鬼啊 Why is the US Navy on there?
没开玩笑 美国海军还真的是苏格兰人创立的 Not joking, that was actually invented by a Scottish person.
*John Paul Jones 美国海军之父 1747年出生于苏格兰西南部地区
-真的吗 Was it? -同样还有BBC和英国特种空勤团 So was the BBC, so was the SAS.
所有的特种部队 实际上 我想我知道为什么 All Special Forces, in fact. And I think I know why.
如果你来自墨西哥 法国或者意大利 If you are from Mexico or France or Italy,
你早上起床 打开窗帘 you wake up in the morning, open the curtains,
天气很不错 你会想"我要去海边玩一圈" it's a lovely day, think, "I'll go to the beach."
但是在苏格兰 你早起拉开窗帘 In Scotland you open the curtains...
外面又冷又潮湿 it's damp and cold:
"算了我还是滚去棚子里发明点啥好了" "I'll go to the shed and I'll invent something."
这里的情况就是这样 That's what's going on there.
实际上 我很惊讶 英国人 I'm surprised, actually, the English,
没有直接宣称这些是英国人的发明 don't just say that those are British inventions.
啊 对 没错 穆雷症候群 Ah, yes, the Andy Murray syndrome.
*安迪穆雷 出生于苏格兰邓布兰 英国著名男子职业网球运动员
咱们坦率的讲 这种事经常发生 Let's be honest, this does happen a lot.
咱们就拿贝尔举例子 好吧 OK. Alexander Graham Bell,
当他在家里的小棚子里用电木和电线卖命工作的时候 when he was working away with his Bakelite and his wires in his shed,
他是苏格兰疯子 he was a Scottish crackpot.
但当他发明了电话之后 When he invented the telephone,
瞬间就变成了英国天才了 he was a British genius!
运动行业的情况也很相似 Exactly the same sort of thing happens with sport.
汽车运动界 Jackie Stewart Motor Racing, Jackie Stewart.
曾获得F1世界冠军3次 Three times Formula 1 World Champion.
好吧 他是英国人 OK, he's British.
Jim Clark F1世界冠军2次 Jim Clark. Two times Formula 1 World Champion.
也是英国人 British.
到了David Coulthard 就是苏格兰佬了 David Coulthard... Scottish.
*一次F1冠军都没有
这个机制就是这么工作的 That's how it works!
没错 就是这样 It is, yes.
也许我们要跟美国的观众朋友们解释一下这是什么情况 Maybe we should explain to people in America what's going on here.
没错 让我来给你们整理一下 Yeah, exactly. Let me just clear this up for you.
我们这嘎达是这么运作的 This is how it works on this side of the pond.
这是英国地图 这块叫英格兰 我们就是那的人 This is Britain. This bit is England, where we're from.
这部分叫苏格兰 我们现在所在的位置 This bit's Scotland, where we are now.
这部分叫威尔士 在我家的边上 This bit's Wales, which is next to where I live.
没错 规则其实非常简单 Exactly. The rules are very simple.
如果你是英格兰人 If you're English
并且你非常争气 非常出色优秀 and you become brilliant or do something brilliant,
你还是'英国人' you remain English.
如果你来自苏格兰或威尔士 If you're Scottish or Welsh
并且你依旧很争气 很优秀 and you do something brilliant,
英格兰人就决定了说"中央都决定了 你就是英国人了" the English decide that you are, in fact, British.
'英国人'真的好可怕 对吧 The English really are appalling, aren't they?!
没错 They are!
我跟你们说 我喜欢在苏格兰呆着 I tell you what, I love being in Scotland
因为这里的人都非常直爽 because everyone here speaks their mind.
从来不搞模糊暧昧的态度 There's no ambiguity.
拉克霍尔镇 他们的欢迎牌子是这样的 The town of Larkhall in Scotland, their welcome sign,
我们看一下 here we go.
欢迎来到拉克霍尔 除非你是ISIS 你们这群贱人可以滚了
这就是苏格兰范儿啊 This is Scotland.
并且这种直爽还不止于语言 行动上也是如此 It's not just words, either, it's actions.
你们还记不记得几年前 哥拉斯洛机场的恐怖袭击 Do you remember that terrorist attack at Glasgow Airport a couple of years ago?
有个人试图搞自杀式炸弹袭击 结果炸弹没爆 Somebody tried to explode... bomb didn't go off.
然后他就跑了 但是却没跑多远 因为发生了这事 He ran off and he didn't get very far because this happened.
我用力的踢了 着火恐怖分子的蛋蛋 以至于我脚部跟腱撕裂
这就是苏格兰范儿 纯纯的苏格兰范儿 The Scottish way. That is the Scottish way.
并且... And um...
有趣的是 从那以后 苏格兰再也没发生过恐怖袭击 Interestingly, there have been no terrorist attacks in Scotland since.
我刚才又仔细想了想这事 Just thinking about that for a second.
当那哥们踢人的时候 他的脚一定是在另一人的胯部位置受伤的 When he kicked him, he must have broken his foot on the other guy's pelvis.
没错 Yeah.
也就是说 恐怖分子的蛋蛋一定是在'爆炸'的中心地带啊 Which means the guy's plums were in the middle of the impact.
当这恐怖分子那天早上起床的时候 When that terrorist woke up that morning,
他一定想的是 "好吧... he must've thought, "Right,
"今天我要遇到最糟糕的事 就是我要自我爆炸了" "The worst thing that'll happen to me today is I'm gonna blow up."
结果却不是这样 对吧 It wasn't, though, was it?
因为那天唯一爆炸的东西就是他的小兄弟啊 Cos the only thing to explode was his knackers.
-我们可不可以赶紧开始节目 Can we get on with the show? -没错 好主意 Yes. Good idea.
在今晚的汽车节目中... Because in tonight's car programme...
我对着一台引擎撒尿 I urinate on an engine...
鼹鼠穿了一件冲锋衣 Richard wears an anorak...
而詹姆斯则吃了药(吸毒) and James takes drugs.
但是首先 我想谈谈菲亚特 But first, I want to talk about Fiat.
这家公司近年来以旗下的菲亚特500而闻名 They're mostly known these days for the 500,
也就是对一辆老钢炮的复刻车型 which is a small retro hatchback.
但是在消失了超过十年的时间之后 But after an absence of more than a decade,
他们决定重回运动车的市场 they are back in the sports car game.
于是 我前往埃博拉机库 So I went down to the Eboladrome
看看他们的回归之作 to check out what they've come up with.
就是它了 并且跟新菲亚特500一样 Here it is. And as with the 500,
你能立马看出来 you can tell straightaway
菲亚特又在打复刻情怀牌了 that Fiat are playing the nostalgia card
因为这辆车的名字叫124 Spider because this car is called the 124 Spider,
以纪念菲亚特在七十年代的一款敞篷后驱跑车 in honour of their rear-wheel drive roadster from the '70s.
不过在外壳之下 Under the skin, though,
这辆124跟新款的马自达MX-5共享平台 the 124 is based on the thoroughly modern Mazda MX-5.
菲亚特负责提供重要部件 比如引擎和车身 Fiat supply some important things like the engine and the body,
但是两款车依旧在日本的工厂里共线生产 but both cars are built on the same production line in Japan.
表面上看 这也不是啥坏事 On the surface, that is no bad thing.
你在晚上睡得会更踏实一些 You're gonna sleep a lot better at night
因为你知道你的意大利车 knowing that your Italian car
实际上是由日本人负责组装的 was actually put together by the Japanese.
然而 这也提出了一个问题 However, it does raise a question.
这辆车是有着自己的性格 Is that a sports car in its own right,
还是它仅仅是一辆换了脸的马自达 or just a Mazda with a different badge on?
那么 在我们一探究竟之前 Well, before we find out,
我们先凑近看看它的车标 let's look a bit more closely at the badge.
因为你会发现上面写着Abarth Because you'll notice it says Abarth.
Abarth是菲亚特想给车子加一把火的不二人选 Abarth are Fiat's go-to people when they want to light a fire under one of their cars.
当然肯定不是一把真火了 而是给车子加入 Not light an actual fire, but give what's already there
一些额外的刺激和火辣 some extra zest and zing and fire.
首先 Abarth重新调教了这台1.4升涡轮引擎 For starters, Abarth has tuned the 1.4 litre turbo-charged engine,
结果就是 这辆最快的124 比任何一款MX-5都要快 so that this, the hottest 124, is faster than any MX-5.
0-96km/h加速仅需6.8秒 0-60 takes 6.8 seconds.
最高时速233km/h And the top speed is 145mph.
但是在这样的车里 感觉就像是2.3亿km/h But in a car like this that feels like 145 million.
显然是很对我胃口了 Certainly bundles for me.
然而这辆124超过它日本半血亲兄弟的地方 也不仅仅在性能方面 And it's not just performance where the 124 has the edge over its Japanese half-brother.
我必须要承认 我在给MX-5找毛病的时候的确很困难 I have to admit, and this comes from someone who struggles to find fault with the MX-5,
但是124的声浪更棒 the 124 does sound better.
Abarth给它配备了一套名叫Record Monza的排气系统 Abarth have given it something called the Record Monza exhaust system.
它的效果 就是让一辆小车 发出大车的声音 What it does is make a small car produce a big-car noise.
它就好比是一只穿狮子服装的猫 而这也恰好是你我想要的感觉 It's like a cat in a lion suit and that's exactly the sort of panto you want.
我要说的是 这辆车很我行我素 What I'm saying here is that this car does its own thing.
它有自己的性格 这一点很重要 It has its own personality. And that's important.
但是下一个话题 这辆124就要承受一些打击了 But on the next point, the 124 does take a bit of a body blow.
你知道 所有这些Abarth元素都是有价码的 You see, there's a price to pay for all this Abarth-ness.
并且这个价格是三万英镑 And that price is £30,000.
*按翻译制作时汇率 约合25.4万人民币
要比顶配的MX-5要贵上五千英镑 £5,000 more than the top MX-5.
*按翻译制作时汇率 约合4.2万人民币
不过话说回来 124的确在外表之下给了你更多 That said, the 124 does give you more under the skin,
最显眼部分的就是操控部门的调教了 most notably in the handling department.
Abarth给了这辆车一个限滑差速器 The thing is, Abarth have given this car a limited-slip diff...
也就使这车可以按照你的意愿滑来滑去 which makes sliding something you command.
MX-5上可没有这东西 The MX-5 doesn't have that.
也没有这个运动模式按钮 Neither does it have this sport button here,
它的功能就是减少了稳定性控制的影响 which relaxes the stability control.
减少了很多 Quite a lot.
所以 我们手里的车跑得很快 So, what we have here is a car that's fast,
声浪也很棒 并且过弯也极富乐趣 sounds good and is great fun in the corners.
但是 这辆124也有别的非常重要的事 But there's something else very important about the 124.
我不确定它和MX-5真的是否相差十万八千里 I don't know that there's really a million miles of difference between this and the MX-5.
但是我在这辆车中所体验到的 就是一辆意大利跑车的感觉 But everything I do in this car I'm doing in an Italian sports car.
并且开这辆车 你不可能会不开心 And it is impossible for that not to put you in a good mood.
又一次 坐在一辆小号意大利敞篷跑车中的感觉很好 It does feel so good to be in a small, Italian roadster again.
距离上一次可是有时候了 It's about time.
这辆菲亚特中的一切都是被设计来调动你情绪的 Everything about this little Fiat is designed to stir the emotions.
它会让你笑得像个孩子 And make you smile like a child.
所有的元素 包括那个复古造型的黑色引擎盖 Right down to the retro black bonnet.
上帝啊 我爱死这个黑引擎盖了 God, I love a black bonnet!
只是... It just... Ooh!
只是个黑色引擎盖而已 It's just...a black bonnet.
只有酷毙了的车才会有黑引擎盖 这是事实 Only cool cars have black bonnets. Fact!
我真的好喜欢MX-5 I really like the MX-5.
但是这辆124继承了日本人的基本功 But the 124 has taken those Japanese foundations
又加入了意大利人的撩人技巧 and added some Italian showmanship.
这就是我为了它抛弃了马自达的原因 That's why I'd have it over the Mazda.
我不只是喜欢它 我爱它 I don't just like it, I love it.
说来也挺有趣的 因为... It's interesting that, because...
你知道 我是意大利运动跑车的狂热粉丝 ..as you know, I'm a sucker for an Italian sports car.
我很喜欢它们 尤其是阿尔法 Love 'em to bits especially the Alfa.
然而 我开过一辆普通版的菲亚特124 However, I've driven an ordinary, cooking Fiat 124
结果它的表现都赶不上MX-5 甚至差的很远 and that is not as good as an MX-5, not even close.
没错 这样最好还是选择一辆MX-5 That's true. You'd be better off with the MX-5.
除非你想要一辆最快的MX-5 这样选择Abarth版的124就没错了 Unless you want the fastest MX-5, in which case buy the Abarth.
-说得对 Quite. -我们刚才是做了一些消费建议吗 Have we just done consumer advice?
一点点吧 赶紧快速略过 A little bit. A little bit. Moving on quickly.
好的 我们继续 我们要看看 Yes, we will, move it on. And we'll find out
这辆Abath124在埃博拉机库究竟能跑多快 how fast the Abarth goes round the Eboladrome.
这 当然 就要把车交给一位 That, of course, means handing it over to a man
认为大胡子是列宁发明的人 who thinks that beards were invented by Lenin.
没错 就是我们的老美 Yep. It's the American.
他在那 已经准备好了 There he is, poised and ready.
然后他就出发了 And he's off.
带着一些空转和排气可爱的噪音出发了 With a skitter of wheelspin and a fruity noise from the exhaust.
他冲进了非常湿滑的非直弯 Straight onto a soaking-wet Isn't Strait.
我的人生...究竟发生了什么... What the hell... has happened in my life...
使得我要驾驶一辆菲亚特... that I'm over here driving a Fiat...
...还是在潮湿天气的英国 in the wet in England?
他也许不太喜欢这车 但他驾驶技术还是很专业的 He may not be enjoying it but he is very good at it.
他驾驶124飞过路上积水的同时 As he carves the 124 through the standing water,
也非常充分的利用了它的170匹马力 making the best use of its 170 horsepower.
车子进入你来定弯道时倾斜的很厉害 Really leaning on it as he approaches Your Name Here.
真的是非常大胆 That is ballsy.
现在 大力踩下刹车 Now, heavy on the brakes,
飞快的通过这个左手弯 swoops round this fast left-hander,
并且很有技巧的使用转向过度出弯 and exits with a skilful flurry of stylish over-steer.
又回到非直弯 Back onto the Isn't.
老天 我也不知道这个东西是用来开的 还是用来当痰盂的 Hell, I don't know whether to drive this thing or use it for a spit-cup.
呵呵真有意思 Charming!
汽车宅们应该知道 这些条件用在Barchetta身上更合适 Nerds will note these conditions would be better suited to a Barchetta.
*菲亚特此前最后一款敞篷小跑 当年中东特辑鼹鼠驾驶的那款
如果你喜欢这辆车 If you like this car,
我猜你家里一定有一堆华丽的靠垫 I bet you got a lot of fancy cushions in your house.
是啊 你知道 Yeah, cos as we know,
靠垫这东西 显然属于共产主义啊 cushions are, of course, Communist.
好的 进入老太太房前的复杂弯道 Right, into the tight complex of Old Lady's House.
依旧干净整齐的通过这里 Keeping it nice and tidy through there.
现在全力冲刺死亡变电站前方的颠簸直路 And now full power for the lumpy, bumpy sprint down to Substation.
由于大力刹车导致前双闪灯亮了 Front hazards coming on under hard braking.
所有的菲亚特车都有这个功能 All Fiats do that for some reason.
双手全力反向打死进入羊圈弯 Armful of opposite lock into Field Of Sheep.
车子变得更活跃 然后冲线了 More exuberance through there and across the line.
在进入你来定弯道的时候真的很大胆 真的 It was a ballsy entry into Your Name Here, that was.
无论如何...我们现在要看看这辆车在排行榜上排名如何 Anyway...we must now find out where it ends up on the board.
咱们看一下吧 Let's have a look.
哦 我的天 哈蒙德 Oh, dear. Oh, dear, Hammond.
也就是说你推荐的车 是全世界跑得最慢的车 So you've recommended what is officially the slowest car in the world.
额...只是我们排行榜上最慢而已啊 Well... No, slowest car on our board.
-我们的排行榜就是全世界啊 Our board is the world. -没错 It is.
好吧 赛道上全是水啊 All right. Look, it was wet.
身后的湖还全是水呢 照样有人在上面跑321km/h That lake's wet. Someone once did 200mph on that.
*John Cobb 1952年死于在尼斯湖用快艇创造速度记录
-之后呢... And... -随后就挂点了 我承认 Then they were killed, I admit.
-但是... But... -闭嘴 闭嘴 Quite, quite.
咱们赶紧继续 现在是时候非常绅士的在 Let's move on. It's time now for us to take a gentle cruise
柔软顺滑的坎大街上走一圈儿了 down the velvety smoothness of Conversation Street.
-那下真的很疼 -That really hurts. -没错 -It did!
这点我要和你讲清楚 Just to be absolutely clear with you,
真的非常 非常 疼 that really, really hurt.
是的 那一下本来应该用道具的瓶子来着 Yeah. It was supposed to be a pretend bottle.
-进入下一话题 -Let's move it on. -我想聊些比较重要的问题 -I would like to converse about something important.
为什么车里要用真皮呢 Why is it that we have leather seats in cars?
因为这种材料简直糟透了 Because in reality it's a terrible material.
它太亮了 而且又很滑 It's too shiny and slippery.
不是太热就是太冷 简直是垃圾 It's too hot or it's too cold. It's rubbish.
我觉得是因为我们总有一种 I think it's cos we got hung up on the idea
真皮座椅很时髦的感觉 that leather is somehow posh on a car seat.
但它之前可不是这么用的 But it didn't use to be like that.
早些时候 有地位的人都坐在 In the old days, the posh people sat
车子后排的布质座椅上 in the back of the car on cloth seats,
而司机坐的是前面的皮质座椅 and it was the chauffeur sitting at the front--
他们让司机坐真皮是因为它耐磨 they gave him leather because it's hard-wearing.
这有一张老式汽车的图片 I've got a picture here of an old car.
他们甚至没把顶棚延伸到前面遮住司机 They didn't even extend the roof to cover him!
只要再往前三英尺就够了 Another three feet would have done it.
他们绝对是故意的 I think that's deliberate.
我觉得这是为了提醒司机他就是个渣渣 I think that's to remind him that he's scum!
你们两个认为用什么代替真皮比较好 What would you two like to have instead of leather?
你可以用很多东西来代替 There's all sorts of things you could use.
你可以用针织羊毛 You could have cable-knit wool.
但它很好用 非常舒服 看看我们周围 But it's nice, it's cosy. Desperately looking around.
-他的套头衫可以做一个不错的座椅 -His jumper would make quite a good car seat. -是很舒服 -Cosy.
那是尼龙 绝对的 It's nylon! It is!
*Pleblon: 常用于汽车内饰的廉价织物，据说是猩猩发明的单词
或者是什么织物 这两个中的一个 Or pleblon. One of the two.
-这是个好主意 -It's a good idea. -这才不是个好主意 -It isn't a good idea!
或者 这个主意怎么样 Or, how's this for an idea?
干脆就在这说了吧 Let me just throw it out there.
为什么不找一头牛 Why not take a cow,
那中间的部分做成汉堡肉和牛排 turn the middle of it into burgers and steaks,
然后不把它的皮扔掉 and then, instead of throwing the skin away,
而是用做你车子的座椅套 use it to cover the seats of your car?
那是因为这种材料非常糟糕而且完全没用 Because it's a terrible material and it doesn't work.
这只是因为你们两个 That's only because you two
决定要做素食主义者而已 have decided to be vegetarians.
不 等等… Well, no, hang on...
没错 他们的确这么决定的 They have. They actually have.
有一天早上他们一起醒来 然后说 They woke up together one morning and went,
"我们别再吃肉了" "Let's not eat meat any more."
我们没有在哪天早上一起醒来过 We didn't wake up together one morning.
-这点得说明白 -Get clear on that. -这点很重要 -It's a fine definition.
莫名其妙的做出了相同的决定 Mysteriously arrived at the same conclusion
而且差不多是同一天 pretty much the same day.
不过我们依然吃鸡肉 Anyway, we still eat chicken.
是的 鸡是蔬菜的一种 Yep. Chicken is a vegetable.
-才不是 -It isn't. -是的 -It is.
科学的讲 鸡是一种蔬菜 Scientifically, chicken is a vegetable.
如果你砍掉一只鸡的头 它还是会满地跑 If you cut a chicken's head off it still runs around.
就是这么回事 There you go.
因此这证明了鸡不是有感官的生物 Thereby proving it's not a sentient being,
它是一种高阶的蔬菜 it's a higher-order vegetable.
非常科学 Scientifically.
好吧 那我们就用鸡皮来做 OK, we'll make the seats of your cars
你们车子的座椅好了 这个主意也不错 out of chicken skins. Actually, that's not a bad idea.
鸡皮座椅难道看上去不会像一个巨大的蛋蛋吗 Wouldn't a chicken-skin seat look like a giant scrotum?
是的 这就要怪你自己为什么不吃肉了 Yes, and that's your fault for not eating meat.
我们来进入下一话题吧 So now let's move on, shall we?
来看这个 早在1920年代 I've got something. Back in the 1920s, OK,
一家苏格兰的公司制作了一款车 a Scottish company made a car
他们宣称这款车是为女性设计的 which they said was for women.
这里有张图片 这辆车名叫Galloway Got a picture of it here. It's called the Galloway.
这个车的什么地方是为女性设计的 What about that car makes it for women?
官方说这辆车的方向盘要比正常小 Well, they said it had a smaller-than-usual steering wheel
-而且发动机更加可靠 -and a more reliable engine. -哦 那当然了 -Oh, yeah, of course,
因为男人们从来不想要可靠的发动机 是吧 because men don't want a reliable engine, do they?
-只有女人想要 -It's only women! -我恨那些可靠的发动机 -I hate reliable engines.
还有 你可以站着开车 Also, you can drive it standing up,
1920年代的女人的确是这么开的 which is what women did in the 1920s.
这种类似的产物直到今天都有 This sort of thing is still going on today
因为我这里有一则新闻 because I've got news of one here.
有一款刚刚发布的车 A car that's been launched
叫做西雅特Mii 时尚特别版 called the Seat Mii Cosmopolitan.
这里有一张图片 We have a picture of it. There you go.
-那个MII是怎么拼的 -How do you spell Mii? -M-I-I -M-I-I.
-那应该是Mii-iii -It's Mii-iii. -就是Mii-iii -It is Mii-iii.
"我买了一辆Mii-iii" "I've got a Mii-iii."
这辆车是和《时尚》杂志 It's been done in collaboration
出的合作款 with Cosmopolitan magazine.
"面向时尚女孩"上面这么说 "It's aimed at Cosmo Girl," it says.
还有 准备好了吗 And, are you ready?
"眼线般轮廓的前灯" "The headlights have an eyeliner shape."
-并没有 -No, they don't. -"易于停车" -"It's easy to park."
哦 当然了 Oh, yeah, cos...
我更想要一辆不好停的车 I much prefer a car that's hard to park
因为我是个男人 because I'm a man.
我先说清楚一件事 好吗 Can we get something clear here? OK?
这种按性别分的车简直莫名其妙 This gender-splitting of cars is ridiculous.
这就好像是在说女式的飞机座椅 It's like saying a woman's airline seat
或者女式的火柴或是女式的其他什么 or a woman's matches or a woman's anything.
"我能买一盒女式的铅笔吗" "Can I buy a box of women's pencils, please?"
没错 我唯一认为应该分性别的东西 Exactly. The only things I can think of that can be split by gender
-是自行车 因为它有前梁 -are bicycles, because of the crossbar. -是的 -Yeah.
-还有内裤 -And underwear. -有时候 是的 -Sometimes, yeah.
又是过度分享私生活了么? Overshare?
我是说… I said that out...
那天着急出门来着... I left in a hurry.
说真的 我完全不能理解 Honestly, I just can't understand
为什么人们认为应该有所谓的 why people think there's such a thing
-女式车和男式车 -as a woman's car and a man's car. -可笑 -Ridiculous.
开车又不是需要 It's not as if you drive cars
你和自己的小伙伴坦诚相见或是三个老爷们互相打飞机 with your old chap or your magic triangle.
接下来… And there's um...
-听着… -Listen... -画面感有点强 -It's a little graphic.
几年前 沃尔沃出了一款概念车 But a few years ago, Volvo did a concept car,
他们大肆宣传称 and they boasted very loudly
这款车的所有设计 that the whole thing had been designed
都是由女性完成的 entirely by women.
这里有一张图片 And I've got a picture of it.
这是一辆有着欧翼形门和巨大引擎的轿车 It's a coupe with gull-wing doors and a massive engine.
换成谁都会这样做的 It's what everyone would do.
我绝对会这么设计 没错 I would definitely have done that. Exactly.
男人和女人对于车有着 Men and women are exactly the same
相同的品味 就是这样 when it comes to cars. The end.
-没错 -Exactly. -好了 接下来 -Right. Now...
你知道特斯拉吗 You know Tesla?
特斯拉认为他们开创了电力汽车的先驱 Tesla believes it's pioneering the electric car.
但实际上不是这样 早在60年代就有一家苏格兰的公司 But that ain't so. There was a Scottish company back in the '60s
制造出了电力汽车 which made an electric car.
-这有一张图片 -I've got a picture of it here. -哦 天呐 -Oh, God!
这辆车叫做Scamp It's called The Scamp.
它的最高时速是56km/h It had a top speed of 35mph,
一次充电可以跑32公里 a range of 20 miles.
我想说清楚一点 And I want to make it absolutely plain,
这是苏格兰的公司 不是英国 that's Scottish, not British.
是的 没错 非常准确 It is, yes! Very definitely!
那辆车 是苏格兰制造的 That... that is Scottish.
我们可以结束坎大街了 We can end the conversation.
现在在世界各地 Now, all over the world,
人们大体上都会买非常无聊的车 people, by and large, buy very boring cars.
我昨天碰见了一个人 花了8000英镑 I met a man yesterday who'd just spent £8,000
*按翻译时汇率计算，约合67546元人民币
买了一辆五年的福特福克斯 on a five-year-old Ford Focus.
我就想 "为什么要这么做 I thought, "Why did you do that?
如果你想花8000英镑 If you've got £8,000 to spend,
为什么不买一辆二手的玛莎拉蒂" why didn't you buy a used Maserati?"
我想可能是人们认为 I think it's because people believe
如果你花8000英镑买一辆意大利风情的车 if you buy the used, exotic Italian car for £8,000
它就会随时随地故障抛锚 it's going to break down all the time.
但这是真的吗 为了探明这点 Yes, but will it? To find out,
我们决定用自己的钱试试水 we actually put our own money on the line,
所以我们每个人都去买了一辆二手的玛莎拉蒂 and we each went out and bought a second-hand Maserati.
是的 然后我们认为不应该在英国测试 Yes, and then we decided that cars this glamorous
这样富有魅力的而又令人兴奋的车 and this exciting couldn't possibly be tested in Britain.
所以我们决定在欧洲大陆会和 So we decided to meet up in continental Europe.
法国北部
这就是我们选择的比赛场地 This is the race track we selected.
距离加来只有96公里 It's just 60 miles from Calais,
我一大早就赶到了 and I arrived bright and early.
这 是一辆玛莎拉蒂Biturbo This...is a Maserati Biturbo.
世界上第一辆配有双涡轮增压的车 First car in the world to be fitted with two turbo chargers.
尤其是我手里这辆 还是格外吃香的S型 And this particular example is the sought-after S model.
这辆车只跑了三万八千公里 And it's only done 24,000 miles.
此外 它只花了我7950英镑 And yet despite that, all I paid for it was £7,950.
*按翻译制作时汇率 约合6.7万人民币
所以你可以得到它所有的魅力和动力 So you get all this glamour, all this power,
以及那个标志 而所花费的比你在英国 all that badge for less than you'd pay in the UK
买一辆丰田"虔诚"还要少 for a six-year-old Toyota "Pious".
*Pious: 恶搞丰田普锐斯(Prius)
鼹鼠怎么开着一辆福特Cortina Why has Richard Hammond arrived in a Ford Cortina?
等等 这不是福特Cortina 这又是一辆Biturbo Wait. It isn't a Ford Cortina, it's another Biturbo!
-不 这是辆430 -No, this is the 430. -它不是 -It isn't!
-就是的 -It is! -是Biturbo -Biturbo.
这不是Biturbo This isn't a Biturbo.
-是的 -It is! -那才是Biturbo -That's a Biturbo.
哈蒙德 Hammond.
很抱歉告诉你这个 I'm sorry to have to tell you this.
不过Ghibli, Racing But the Ghibli, the Racing,
Karif, Shamal, 222和430 the Karif, the Shamal, the 222 and the 430,
它们都是同样的车 他们没钱制造新车 they were all the same car. They haven't got any money.
所以就把后面的标志换了一下 They just changed the name badge on the back.
它们都是一样的车 These are the same car.
你这辆是很丑 但都是一样的车 Yours is very ugly, but it's the same car.
我很怀疑你的说法 I dispute that.
这不是丑 这是优雅 This is not ugly, this is elegant.
-这是意式风格 -This is Italian style. -它不是 -It isn't!
这辆车的外观美得难以置信 看看这 That is a fabulous-looking car. Let's look at this.
再看看你的车 太俗气了 伙计 What have you got? It's a bit gaudy, mate.
你想听听这小家伙点火的声音吗 You wanna hear this baby fire up.
快出来 出来逃命吧 Get out! Save yourself!
是的 Yes!
感受下它的动力 Feel the power of that!
你看见这个了吗 Have you seen all this--
不可能是别的 机油 there's no other word for it--oil?
是的 这… Yeah, that...
-是的 -Yeah. -没错 -Yeah.
幸运的是 Happily,
在漏更多的油之前 before any more could flood out,
船长到了 James arrived.
你见过比这看上去更笨拙的机器吗 Have you ever seen a more ungainly-looking machine?
怎么了 车门坏了吗 What's the matter? Is your door broken?
没有 坏的是我 能帮我扶一下门吗 谢谢 No, I'm broken. Can you hold the door for me? Thank you.
看 玛莎拉蒂Zagato Spyder Behold...the Maserati Zagato Spyder.
-这是 Biturbo 伙计 -Biturbo, mate. -是Zagato Spyder -Zagato Spyder.
这些都是Biturbo All Biturbos.
我想这款车在设计的时候 I think this was designed
玛莎拉蒂好像归雪铁龙所有 when it was owned by Citroen,
那时候它好像破产了 which was bankrupt at the time.
然后是美国的什么人 Then there was some guy in America
接手了一段时间玛莎拉蒂 who had a bit of Maserati.
然后是意大利政府 或者菲亚特 And then the Italian Government, or Fiat,
也都接手了一阵子 they all sort of had bits of it.
他们到处蹦跶说"我们造了一辆新车 看" They ran around going, "We made a new car. Look."
实际上它们都一样 只是换了个新的名字 It was exactly the same, it just had a new name.
抱歉 詹姆斯 我只是想看看… Excuse me, James. I just want to see just...
哦 你的是双色调的皮革 Oh, you've got two-tone leather.
但你为什么买了辆自动挡 But why have you got an automatic?
我把胳膊摔了 I've bust my arm.
所以花了很长的时间才能爬下车 That's why it took a long time to get out.
你真的摔到胳膊了吗 Have you really broken your arm?
你摔的是哪只 Which arm have you broken?
这让我的脾气差到想杀人 It has made me murderously bad-tempered
完全没法容忍你在那犯蠢 and intolerant of your fatuousness.
你真的摔伤了胳膊吗 Have you seriously broken your arm?
骨头断得挺厉害的 It's fractured quite badly.
-别碰 -Don't touch it. -你怎么摔得 -How did you break it?
-我摔了一跤 -I fell over. -所以你才开了辆自动挡吗 -That's why you got an automatic?
-是的 -Yes. -顶棚是电动的吗 -Is that roof electric?
-不 -No. -前面有个按钮 -There's a button on the front.
-哦 这样 所以是手动的 -Oh, right. So it is manual. -是的 -Yes.
无论如何 我们得开始了 快来 出发吧 Anyway, we must get off. Come on, let's drive on.
你能帮我把顶棚安回去吗 Can you put the roof back up for me?
不 我才不会那么做 No! I'm not doing that.
我们决定先来一场加速赛 We decided first of all to have a drag race,
除了我们的车外还有一辆差不多价钱的现代的车 between our cars and a similarly-priced modern car...
铃木"芹菜" the Suzuki "Celery".
*恶搞铃木Celerio
激动人心的时刻 Tense moment.
然而 不幸地是 对我们的车来讲 Sadly, however, the pit straight was too narrow
维修站的路太窄了 for our four cars.
你干啥? What are you doing?
哈蒙德 你个蠢货 Hammond, you idiot!
-你撞上了我的玛莎拉蒂! -You crashed into my Maserati! -明明是你撞的我的车好么 -You crashed into mine!
我刚没法继续前进 那有个围栏 I've got nowhere to go. There's a barrier there.
可我也没处拐啊 我好好待在自己的地方 There was nowhere for me to go. I was where I was.
所以 第二次尝试的时候... So, for the second attempt...
我自愿走维修车道 I volunteered to go down the pit lane.
太棒了 简直天才 Yes, this is genius!
然而这也没什么卵用 And that didn't work, either.
回到赛道 那里是哈蒙德 Re-emerging on the track. Hammond is there.
什么鬼 What the hell?
哦 糟糕 Oh, shit!
哦 我的天 Oh, my God!
特么为啥我们就不能弄个正常的直线加速? Why the hell can't we just do a drag race properly?
那又不难 It can't be that difficult.
这次事件之后 我们决定 After this latest accident, we decided that,
介于鼹鼠的车有最大的引擎 as Hammond's car had the biggest engine...
他应该独自代表玛莎拉蒂的荣誉出战 he'd represent Maserati's honour on his own.
好的 就这样 我是被选车手 OK, this is it. I am the elected driver.
天选之人 救世主 The chosen one. The kingpin.
很好 I like that.
大量哔哔声(轮胎打滑)... Massive amount of bleeping about...
然而(我超过了它)... But then...
终于 动力迸发 涡轮狂转 Finally, it spools up, turbos whizzing away.
爽!绝对干翻了铃木! And yes! Absolutely creamed it!
没错儿 他们选我是对的 Yep, they were right to pick me.
以及这车 玛莎拉蒂430 And the car, the 430...Maserati.
现在 你帮我们团队证明了 Now you've established that, as a team,
我们的双涡轮增压玛莎拉蒂 our twin turbo-charged Maseratis are faster
比67马力的"芹菜"快 than a 67-horsepower "Celery",
咱们先别管这日本小车了 let's get rid of the little Japanese car
来看看我们仨的车 and find out which of our three cars
谁是赛道上最快的 is the fastest round the track.
我们会在欧洲大陆的赛道上 We'll be driving Maseratis
开着玛莎拉蒂 on a race track in continental Europe.
听起来很棒 对吧 Sounds good, doesn't it?
诶你怎么回事 为啥一直摆着哭丧脸 What's the matter with you? Why do you look so miserable?
我胳膊断了 I've broken my arm.
如果我们要上赛道 If we're gonna drive round a track,
至少给我一个残疾人专用拨方向盘装置吧 can I at least have one of those disabled knob things?
-你知道的 -You know. -在方向盘上的那种? -On the steering wheel?
对 就像叉车上的那种 Yeah, like a forklift truck has.
好吧很合理 Sounds fair enough.
于是 当我们的同事在享受特别早餐的时候 So, whilst our colleague enjoyed his special breakfast,
鼹鼠跟我在帮他装方向杆 Richard and I attached his steering knob.
好了 There you go.
然后 我们去了赛道 And then we hit the track.
这车最早可以追溯到 The roots of this car,
1957年的德国大奖赛 they were planted during the 1957 German Grand Prix.
*胡安·曼努埃尔·方吉欧 意大利裔阿根廷赛车手 五届一级方程式赛车年度冠军 方吉欧在F1竞赛刚创立的前十年主宰了赛场
方吉奥 驾驶他的玛莎拉蒂250F Fangio, at the wheel of his Maserati 250F,
在22圈中 克服了48秒落后 最终赢下比赛 overcame a 48-second deficit in 22 laps to win the race.
他打破了圈速记录10次 He smashed the lap record ten times.
这种血统是不会轻易失去的 You don't lose a pedigree like that.
好了 感受一下这小甩尾 Here we go. Feel the tail kick out a little bit.
或者小甩头 Or the front go.
后面滑动了 又轮到前轮了 There's the back. On the front.
哦 老天 好了 Oh, God. I've got it.
驾着玛莎拉蒂飞驰 Flying laps in a Maserati.
*斯特林·莫斯 英格兰F1车手 也是国际赛车名人堂的一员
斯特林·莫斯就是这么干的 This is exactly what Stirling Moss did.
也不完全是 主要看气质 Not exactly. Bits of it are.
与此同时 在敞篷车里 Meanwhile, in the convertible,
詹姆斯貌似对他的新方向"杆"不太开心 James was very unhappy with his new steering knob.
哦 天啊 这是个左撇子 Oh, God, it's the left-hander.
可弯曲的方向杆 Bend the knob.
这俩人到底什么毛病 What is the matter with those two?
没问题 状态很好 We're OK. We're in good shape.
并没有! No, we're not!
忽略我时好时坏的操控 Despite my lucky-dip handling,
我最终还是赶上了哈蒙德 I did eventually catch Hammond.
准备超过他 从内线超过去 Take him! Take him on the inside!
爽 Yes!
没错 Yes!
不 No!
不 我... 哦 天啊 No, I... Oh, God, strewth.
他肯定要失控了 He's going surely now!
老天 Jesus!
他的马力实在太大了 加油! It just has too many horsepowers here. Come on!
哦 我艹 Oh, shit.
克拉克森先生暂时失去行动能力 Mr Clarkson is indisposed briefly.
不一会儿 哈蒙德先生也失去了行动能力 And moments later, so was Mr Hammond.
不 不 不! No, no, no!
动啊! Come on!
所以 在啥收获也没有之后 So, having learned absolutely nothing at all...
我们决定放弃赛道 we decided to abandon the race track
转而开启一次1120公里的巡游 and embark on a 700-mile cruise
直到法国南部 to the south of France.
船长对这个决定很满意 James was very pleased with this plan.
这才像个样子 不是吗 This is more like it, isn't it?
不在赛道上打滚儿 Not mucking around on a race track,
对古董车而言赛道总是个烂主意 which is always a bad idea in old cars.
现在我们进行着一场舒心的公路旅行 We're going on a proper road trip
去到世界上一个令人欢欣的地方 to a lovely part of the world
开着非常怀旧 非常异域风情的车-- in very, very evocative, exotic cars--
玛莎拉蒂! Maserati!
在20世纪70年代 玛莎拉蒂把他们旗下所有的车 In the 1970s, Maserati was naming all its cars
以听上去充满异域情调的风而命名 after...exotic-sounding warm winds:
*这三个词的意思分别是 寒冷的西北风 酷热的南风 强烈而干燥的北风
米斯特拉尔 坎辛 宝来 Mistral, Khamsin, Bora.
我小的时候在唐克斯特 When I was a kid growing up in Doncaster,
常常想 I just thought,
我完全不知道米斯特拉尔是什么意思 "I've no idea what a Mistral is
但我想要一辆 but I want one!"
玛莎拉蒂 法国南部 Maserati. South of France.
听着就舒坦 It just sounds right.
然而 不一会儿 However, fairly soon,
现实以令人讨厌的方式 reality began to stick its unwelcome nose
参与了进来 into the equation.
完全没有暖气 我没办法除雾 You get no heat in here and I can't de-mist at all.
刹车 The brakes.
刹一个轮挺好使 It brakes one wheel very well.
但一次也只能刹一个 而且你不知道是哪一个 But only one wheel at a time. And you never know which one.
船长 我的大灯晃到你没 James, are my lights dazzling you?
-是有点儿 -Yeah, a bit. -那是因为我开的远光灯 -Because they seem to be on main beam,
但我没办法切成近光 but I can't dip them.
如果我把头灯开成远光 If I put my headlights on full beam,
对面来的车根本不会发现 nobody coming the other way flashes at me.
听到这个动静没 You hear that rattling?
是方向盘 That's the steering wheel.
除了机械问题 On top of the mechanical issues,
船长还要面对 there was the problem
他的右舵车 of James tackling the toll booths
在收费站的挣扎 in his right-hand-drive car.
我们要走1120公里 We've got 700 miles to go.
照这个速度八百年也到不了 It's going to take us for ever at this speed.
接下来 一个问题赢了前面所有的... And then, to cap it all...
大猩猩 你车底在往出冒火花 Jeremy, there are sparks coming from under your car.
我觉得你应该停下来 I think you probably need to stop.
-快看 -Oh, look. -有啥东西着火了 -Something's on fire.
-着火了 -Fire! -好吧 是时候往上撒点尿了 -Right. Might have to piss on it.
-哦 别啊 -Oh, no! -去远远的那边 -Go round there!
他肯定会说这属于紧急救援服务 He's going to claim to be an emergency service now.
烦人地 我们的公路旅行 Annoyingly, our road trip
被证明并没有我们希望的那样有格调 wasn't proving to be as stylish as we'd hoped.
所以 在下一个加油站 So, at the next petrol stop,
船长也没能领会 with James failing to appreciate
我们给他买礼物的"美意" a present we'd bought for him...
你以前可是幽默感很好的啊 You used to have a good sense of humour.
我幽默感是很好 当你真的有趣的时候 I do have a good sense of humour when you're being funny.
-有时候你还确实是 -Which you are sometimes. -我有个提议 -...I suggested a new idea.
听着 听着 我有个想法 Listen, listen. I've had a thought.
南法还有很长长长长长的路要走 South of France is a long way away.
所以相比之下我们为什么不去北法? So why don't we go to the north of France instead?
-对啊 -Yes! -是个好主意 -That is a good idea.
而且北部有更多可以看 可以做的事 And there's much more to see and do in the north
相比南部 than there is in the south of France.
北法有啥好看的? What is there to see and do in the north of France?
呃 在加来市有移民营地 Well, there's the immigrant camp in Calais.
有曾经烧死女巫的那个广场 There's that square where they set fire to a woman.
对 Yes.
还会有别的玩意 会有别的东西的 There'll be other stuff. There will be other stuff.
好的 谢谢大家 OK. Thank you very much.
谢谢 非常感谢 Thank you so much. Thank you.
我们一会儿继续 We'll pick that up later on,
现在 是时候玩一把"明星头脑碰撞"了 but now it's time to play Celebrity Brain Crash!
-没错 这次依然很糟 -Yeah, it's still terrible. -没法儿看 -Awful!
好的 我们该怎么说这期的嘉宾呢 OK, now what can we say about our guest this week?
他是苏格兰人 但是他曾在奥林匹克赛场赢过一枚金牌 He's Scottish, but he won a gold medal at the Olympics.
所以他当然也是一名英国人 So of course he's British.
他骑单车出道 He started out in cycling,
后来极其理智的改行到赛车领域 then very wisely took up motor Racing.
实际上他完成过勒芒耐力赛 He actually competed at Le Mans.
不过今天他是坐船来的 But today he's in a boat.
女士们先生们 克里斯·霍伊爵士 Ladies and gentlemen, Sir Chris Hoy!
他在那里 There he is!
他在那 There he is.
他一定没问题的 He's gonna be all right.
他在朝着错误的一边划桨 He's rowing it the wrong way round.
好消息是 各位 好消息是 The great thing is, everyone, the great thing is...
尼斯湖是一个平静的内陆湖 没什么幺蛾子 that Loch Ness is a peaceful, inland lake with no hazards at all.
我们的摄影棚里可能终于要迎来一位活嘉宾了 We may finally get a guest to the studio.
没错儿 那太好了 让他毫发无损的到来 Yeah, that would be great. Get him in unharmed.
-加油 霍伊爵士 -Come on, Sir Hoy! -加油 -Come on.
-加油 你能做到的 -Come on, you can do it! -哦 天... -Oh, my...
发生了什么 怎么会... 什么东西... What happened? How...? What...?
女士们先生们 Ladies and gentlemen...
你们刚刚鼓掌庆祝了霍伊爵士悲剧性的死亡 you've just applauded the tragic death of Sir Hoy.
完全不知道怎么回事 我觉得他可能撞上了水雷 No idea. I think he must have hit a mine.
而且还发生了剧烈的爆炸 And there was a terrific explosion,
大家应该注意到了 you may have seen it.
而现在他... And he's now...
好吧 他挂了 对吧 Well, he's gone, hasn't he?
这就是说他来不了惹? Does that mean he's not coming on, then?
是这样 詹姆斯 他炸了 Well, James, he's exploded
变成了肉渣和内脏 and been reduced to chops and offal.
所以答案是他来不了了 So that is a no.
没关系 我有后备方案 It's OK. I've got a backup plan.
你们知道汽车里的语音控制系统不? You know voice activation systems in cars?
他们并不能很好的工作 They don't really work,
*嘲笑苏格兰人的口音
特别是在苏格兰地区 particularly they don't work in Scotland.
现在我们用一个短片举例说明一下 As we shall now demonstrate with a short clip
一个男人试图把他的手机和他的沃克斯豪尔配对 of a man trying to pair his telephone with his Vauxhall.
人：呸对 MAN: Pair. 车：你可以说"配对" VOICE SYSTEM: You can say "pair".
选择设备 需要反馈 帮助 或取消... Select device. For feedback, help or cancel...
胚对 Pair.
你可以说"配对" You can say "pair".
我刚特么说的就是呸对! I just (BLEEP) said pair!
或者取消 ...or cancel.
赔对 Pair!
你可以说"配对" 选择设备 You can say "pair". Select device.
需要反馈 帮助或取消... For feedback, help or cancel...
赔--对-- Pa-a-a-ir.
对不起 Pardon.
我特别喜欢这个家伙的地方在于 What I really love about this guy
他坚持了特别久 is how long he perseveres for.
看着 Watch this.
赔-----对----- Pa-a-a-a-ir.
你想添加或删除设备吗? Do you want to add or delete a device?
-对!我要添加设呗 -Yes! Add a device. -对不起 -Pardon?
添加设呗 Add a device.
要使用配对功能以及外接设备... Using the pair function and the external device...
他太好玩儿了 好的 He was brilliant. Anyway...
这就是问题所在 这就是问题所在 That is the problem. That is the problem,
但是哈蒙德 我有办法 but, Hammond, I have a solution. OK?
别 先别嘲笑 不要笑 No, don't scoff. Don't scoff.
这是一个便宜 This is a system that is cheap,
而且在全世界任何地方都能工作的系统 works anywhere in the world,
而且可以装在任何一个车上 and you can fit it to any car,
无论这车有多老旧 no matter how old it is.
我来给你演示一下 坐进来 Let me show you how it works, OK? Step in.
准备好了没?语音控制 Ready? Voice activation.
开启雨刷器 Engage wipers.
那就是个活人! It's just a man!
这是来自保加利亚的干维尔 It's Gavril from Bulgaria.
他可以做任何事 好的 给我挂上D档 He can do anything. Right, select drive.
*此处三俗 自行联想
好的 打电话给 **先生 There you go. Call Bell-end.
现在 他拿起电话并且拨号 Now, he picks up the phone, he does all the dialling.
我双手都在方向盘上 我很安全 My hands are on the wheel, I'm safe.
他把手机举到我的耳朵前 所以还是免提的 He holds it next to my ear so it's hands-free.
谁是 **先生啊 Who's Bell-end?
-啥事 -What? -并不想和你说话 -I don't want to talk to you.
挂断 End call!
好吧 All right, then.
给司机一拳 Punch driver.
打一拳... 不管用啊 Punch... It doesn't work.
他不会回应你 他只回应我 这就是妙处所在 He won't respond to you, only me. That's the genius.
还有更棒的 我出来 对吧 And it gets better. Get out, OK.
他锁上车门 He locks the doors.
等我再回来的时候 他又会打开车门 And then he opens them when I get back
所以我完全不用带上钥匙 so I don't have to have any keys with me,
钥匙会让我牛仔裤鼓起一个难看的包 which would spoil the line of my jean trouser.
我们来回顾一下 Let me just re-cap this, OK.
所以在惠特比 你把一个罗马尼亚人 So in Whitby you turned a Romanian man
*S01E03
-变成了自动驾驶车 -into a self-driving car. -没错 我是这么做的 -Yes, I did.
*S01E08
你把我变成了倒车雷达 You turned me into a parking sensor.
现在你又把一个保加利亚人变成了声控系统 And now you've turned a Bulgarian man into a voice-control system.
没错儿 -Yes. -所以通过你这些发明体现出来的 -There's a theme establishing itself here,
主题就是 你是个大傻瓜 with your inventions, and it is that you're a moron.
啊哈 好 你看这个 A-ha. OK. Watch this.
你知道 现在的宝马7系里 You know, in a modern BMW 7 Series,
它的后座带有按摩功能 you have back seats that massage you
-在你开车的时候会按摩你 -as you drive along, yeah? -是 -Yes.
我这边做的...完全就是天才 What I've done in here... is just genius.
我掏空了后座中间的实心部分 I have scooped out the middle of that back seat, OK?
然后你可以放进去一个段芬 And then you can fit it with a Dwan Fen.
-什么是段芬 -What's a Dwan Fen? -她在这 -She's here.
她从泰国来 -She's from Thailand.
我不知道你们在笑什么 I don't know why people are laughing at this.
她现在完美的和座椅融合在了一起 对不 She now blends perfectly with the seat, OK?
她就是座椅 She is the seat.
所以我像这样坐进去 So I step in...like so.
然后车一边走我一边享受按摩 And then...I get a massage as I drive along.
船长 船长他现在坐在一个泰国女人身上 James, James...he's sitting on a Thai woman now.
我知道 过来这边 我们继续节目 I know. Come back over here, and we'll move it on.
我们回到玛莎拉蒂的短片 We'll go back to the Maserati film.
目前的情况是 Now, so far we have established
我断了胳膊 that I've broken my arm,
但我们的车都状态良好 but that the cars are working really rather well.
没错 我们在一个叫多维勒的小镇休息了一晚后 Yes! And we rejoin the action
回归到了旅途中 after a night in a town called Deauville,
在小镇上 大猩猩出于只有他自己知道的原因 where Jeremy had, for reasons known only to himself,
决定重演一遍 decided to re-enact
大众高尔夫在80年代的著名广告 the famous VW Golf advert from the '80s.
*TopGear.S013.E07.给柴油尚酷拍广告
*这里大猩猩重演了大众在80年代播放的一则著名广告 大意是一个失意的男人 曾经的荣华富贵都离他而去 唯有大众留在他身边
他曾百万押于黑色 This is the man who put a million on black
结果却是红色 and it came up red.
他曾和美丽性感的女人结合 This is the man who married a sex kitten,
结果她却翻脸 just as she turned into a cat.
他曾以为黄金不跌 This is the man who moved into gold,
结果痛失机遇 just as the clever money moved out.
他开一辆玛莎拉蒂 This is the man who drives a Maserati.
*原大众广告中 此处最后一句应为 "每个人生命中都有些他可以真正依靠的东西"
发动啊 你这操蛋玩意儿! Start, you vicious bastard!
当然 作为玛莎拉蒂 最终它还是成功发动了 Of course, being a Maserati, it did eventually begin.
于是 我们在给船长的方向盘加了一个新方向杆后... So we then fitted James's wheel with a new knob...
决定去沙滩上撒会儿野 and decided to go and play on the beach.
如果是在南法的沙滩上 You really would have trouble doing this
想要做出这样的动作是十分困难的 on a beach in the south of France
因为那整个地方会充斥着 because the whole thing would be covered
想把自己整形出来的皮肤晒黑的人 in people turning their plastic surgery brown.
在海里了 In the sea!
你完全可以把玛莎拉蒂开进海里 You can take a Maserati in the sea...
因为它的防锈实在是太棒了 because the rust-proofing is so good.
随后 我们在美如画的环境里闲庭信步了一会儿 After that, we enjoyed a picturesque walk
并且做了一场哲学辩论 and a philosophical debate.
这世界上有没有比另一个男人 Is there anything on earth which is worse
给你背上涂防晒霜更恶心的事情? than having another man put sun cream on your back?
我又没经历过 I've never experienced that.
之后 我们想玩玩竞技运动 And then we played some sport.
在法国北部的沙滩上 Penalty shoot-out
在玛莎拉蒂里玩罚点球 in Maseratis on a beach in northern France.
我们的气球挂掉后 With our ball gone,
我们继续向诺曼底前进 we continued on our tour of Normandy,
一路上我们的残疾同事哀嚎不停 with our badly-built colleague moaning constantly.
他和老太太换了身体吗 Has he been swapped for an old lady?
他一直都是个老太太 He's always been an old lady.
他生下来就是个老太太 He was born an old lady!
"恭喜你 梅夫人 你生了个小老太太" "Congratulations, Mrs May. It's an old lady!"
随着天色变暗 我们到达了古城翁弗勒尔 As darkness fell, we reached the ancient town of Honfleur,
这也是我们决定要过夜的地方 where we decided to spend the night.
不幸的是 为了抵达宾馆 Unfortunately, to reach our hotel,
我们必须要驶过迷宫一般的 we had to navigate through a maze
狭窄的中世纪街道 of tiny, medieval streets.
抱歉 对不起 Pardon. Sorry.
这实在太窄了 不是吗 This is narrow. Isn't it narrow?
不 No.
这里的人原来是怎么做到没有助力转向 How did people manage in this town in the olden days
就能够在镇上通行的呢 when nobody had power steering?
哦 不 Oh, no.
我知道要拐 但怎么过去 I know do that. How?
哦 我的天 Oh, my God.
我完全被卡住了 I'm totally stuck.
哦 鹅卵石 Ow, ow, ow, ow. Cobbles.
上帝啊 God almighty.
我不确定这能不能过去 I'm not sure that's possible.
哦 天 这是… Oh, for... Is that...?
你挡住路了 You're in the way.
这是条单行线 我方向上的 It's a one-way street my way.
这是条单行线 这点没错 It's a one-way street, yes.
因此我和其他的车 That's why me and the other cars
才会都往这边走 are all coming this way.
别让我用这个方向盘倒车 Please don't make me back up with this steering.
快点 就当是健身了 Come on, it's a workout.
哈蒙德 我要杀了你 Hammond, I am gonna kill you.
稍等下 劳驾 Moment, s'il vous plaît.
我的朋友 Mon ami...
他开着他的车 Il a conduit-ay son voiture
好像大猩猩 comme la gorilla.
你应该…火腿 Vous devrez...le jambon
走左边的路 prenez la rue à gauche
然后我们都是蘑菇! et nous sommes les champignons!
在杰里米驶出这条路后 我继续向前走 With Jeremy out of the way, I could move on.
但这时… But then...
哈蒙德 亮着黄灯开过来的那个是你吗 Hammond, is that you with yellow lights coming up here?
-哦 我的天 -Oh, my God. -看来运气有点差 -That's a bit of bad luck.
你会倒车的 是吧 You're going to have to reverse up there, aren't you?
我不可能倒出去 因为这条路见鬼一样窄 I can't back up because it's preposterously narrow
而且我没办法回头看见我的后面 and I can't swivel my head round to look behind me.
现在怎么办 So now what?
我走的是单行线上 Well, I'm going the right way
正确的方向 down the one-way street,
所以我有通行权 so I have right of way.
抱歉 哈蒙德 你得帮我指挥一下 Sorry, Hammond, you'll have to direct me a bit.
-往右一点 -Right a bit. -我的右边还是你的右边 -My right or your right?
我的右边 也就是你的左边 Well, my right. Which is your left
但你转错了方向 but you're steering in reverse.
在那别动 我要往左走了 Hold it there and I'll go left.
你的左边还是我的左边 Your left or my left?
你的右边 我的左边 就是我看的这边 Your right, my left as I'm looking.
以及你正在看的你的右边 我说的是 你的右边 And your right as you're looking, i.e. your right.
我已经找到了宾馆 I had found the hotel,
但很明显我的同伴们还得有一会儿才能到 but clearly my colleagues were going to be a while.
当你说我的左边时 你说说我正面对着 When you say my left, do you mean my left
我要去的方向的左边 if I'm facing the way I'm going
还是我正对着的方向的左边 or facing the way I'm facing?
好问题 Good point.
你的左边还是我的右边 Your left is still my right.
但你在倒车 所以往后开就是了 But you're going backwards. Just drive backwards!
我要去宾馆了 但我要把这个留在这儿 I'm going to the hotel now but I'll leave this on
这样你们就能听见他们在做什么 so you can stay in tune with what they're doing.
我简直不敢相信我居然在单行线上 I don't believe I've come the wrong way
走错了方向 我明白 down a one-way street. I know.
现在的情况是更好还是更坏了 Are you making your situation better or worse?
更好?更坏?更好?更坏? Better? Worse? Better? Worse?
当鼹鼠和船长最终和我会合后 When Richard and James did finally join me,
我们在晚餐上回顾了 we reflected over dinner
这次法国北部之旅 about our time in the north of France.
这是一次惊人的旅行 It's been just a tremendous journey.
我们在三辆玛莎拉蒂上度过了三天时间 We've had three Maseratis out here for three days
只发生了一次小型的火灾 and we've only had one minor fire.
我得说一句 我要非常诚实的说 Can I just say, and I'm being absolutely honest here,
我爱我的玛莎拉蒂 I love my Maserati.
-我已经完全被它迷住了 -I've totally fallen for it. -是的 -Yes.
我真的很喜欢我那辆 I really like mine.
没有哪辆车的声音比它更赞了 No car makes a better noise.
没有哪辆2升排量的车的声音比它更赞了 No two-litre car makes a better noise than that.
我比旅行开始时还要爱它 I love it more now than when I started.
我绝对要留下我的车 I definitely want to keep mine.
我很想知道用两只手开车是什么感觉 I want to know what it's like to drive with two arms.
因为我们都很爱自己的车 Because we all loved our cars so much,
所以我决定给这次旅行的结尾 I decided we should end our road trip
来一个趣味的高潮 with a spicy climax.
为什么我们不比赛回英国呢 Why don't we race back to England, OK?
早上的第一件事情 最后一个到达的… First thing in the morning. Last one back there...
要卖掉他的车 has to sell their car.
-哦 太残忍了 -Ooh, that's cruel. -这太苛刻了 -That's harsh.
对我来说不太公平 不是吗 It's not entirely fair on me, is it?
为什么不公平 Hello. Why not?
是你自己决定只带一条胳膊来的 You chose to come equipped with one arm.
那是你的问题 不是我们的 It's your issue, not ours.
所以我们从这出发 同时 So we set off from here, all at the same time.
选择你喜欢的路线 最后一个… Any route you like. Last one...
回到英国土壤的 back on English soil,
要卖掉他的车 has to sell their car.
算我一个 赌一把 I'm up for it. I'll risk it
这会让回去的旅行更令人激动 cos that'll make the trip home exciting.
就这么办 最后到达的… I'll do it. Last one home...
随着黎明降临 As dawn broke,
我们在宾馆外排成一排 we lined up outside the hotel,
准备出发 ready for the off.
先生们 现在是早上三点五十分 Gentlemen, it's ten to four in the morning.
我们开始吧 Let's do this.
倒计时3, 2, 1…开始 In three, two, one... Begin!
冲啊 Blast!
拜托 me on!
不 No! No!
无论如何 我都要赢得这场比赛 At all costs, I am winning this.
这很典型 典型的意大利车 This is typical. Typical of Italian cars.
等到你真的非常需要它时 They wait until you really need them,
它就突然坏了 and then they go wrong.
"哦 亲爱的 我马上就要生了 快点" "Oh, darling, darling, I'm in labour! Quickly!"
"是的 我现在开着我的玛莎拉蒂" "Yes, I'm on my way in my Maserati."
对 在这边 Right. Up here.
看上去有点眼熟 这可不太好 Some of this is familiar, which is bad.
哦 不 不能现在迷路 Oh, no, not lost now.
又一次 我试着哄哄我的车 Once again, I'd managed to coax my car
唤醒它的生机 into some kind of life
现在我上路了 and I was on my way.
直接开出镇外 So, straight out of town.
听上去很正常 Sounding healthy.
我以19km/h的极速 With a top speed of about 12,
开往勒阿弗尔渡口 I was headed for the ferry port of Le Havre.
现在的问题是逻辑上来讲 The trouble is that logically,
那两个人也会做同样的事情 the others would be doing the same thing.
车 振作一下 拜托了 Car, clear your throat, please.
我出城了 I'm out!
好的 英国 我来了 Right, England, here I come.
振作一下 车 振作 Clear your throat, car! Clear it!
不然我们就会是最后一名了 Or we shall be last.
到时候我就不得不把你卖掉 而且不会卖给什么好人 And then I shall have to sell you, and not to someone nice.
你知道那个日了车 You know that man who has sex with his cars
然后把照片挂到网上的人吧 and then puts pictures of it on the internet?
我要把你卖给他 I'm going to sell you to him
除非你快点跑起来 快点 unless you get going. Now, come on!
-等等 -Hang on a minute. -不 -No!
不 No, no, no, no!
大路 赞 Big road. Yes!
与此同时 詹姆斯 James, meanwhile,
正在最后面磨磨蹭蹭 was dawdling along at the back.
而且奇怪的是 他看上去不是很关心这场比赛 Yet he seemed strangely unconcerned about this.
表面上看来 观众们 这不算是一场比赛 On the face of it, viewers, this isn't much of a race,
因为我开的是最慢的车 而且我们都知道 because I've got the slowest car, we know that.
我只能用一只手 I only have the use of one arm
而且我还在用一只固定在方向盘上 and I'm steering
吱吱叫的青蛙控制方向 with a squeaky frog bolted to the wheel.
不过 并没有那么简单 However, it's not that simple.
事实上 In fact,
我相信我会是第一个到达的 I believe I will be first.
*The last shall be first: 出自圣经
因为想要做首先的 必作众人末 Because he who is last shall be first.
我们都知道 As we know.
现在上摩托车道 Coming up now to the motorway.
拜托啊 小车 拜托你啊 Come on, car. Please!
成功开上公路岔道 It's made it up the slip road.
你们还能想象到有别的车 Have you ever known a car with more spirit
比这辆了不起的玛莎拉蒂更有骨气的么 than this magnificent Maserati?
然而 刚才岔道的坡度跟前方的相比 简直小菜一碟 However, the gradient on the slip road was nothing compared to what lay ahead.
哦 我的神仙姥姥啊 Oh, my giddy aunt.
港口啊 你在哪 Port, where is it?
如果我第一个到达 我就要等船来 If I get there first, I've got to wait for the ferry.
他们这时候就可以追上来 但是我依旧在队伍的前列 They could catch up, but I'll be ahead in the queue.
最先上船的 肯定也是最先下船 Whoever gets on the boat first gets off the boat first,
这可不会改变的 and you can't change that.
第一个上船的 一定第一个下船 First on the boat is first off the boat.
*你确定?
赢定了 They win.
好吧 冷静 杰里米 冷静 Right, calm, Jeremy, calm.
你在高速公路上 You're on a motorway.
一座巨型公路桥上 On an enormous bridge,
周围一堆巨型卡车呼啸而过 surrounded by many heavy lorries.
哦 不 Oh, no.
我听见排气管爆炸的声音了 I can hear the exhaust spluttering.
冒烟了 冒了很多烟 Smoke. A lot of smoke now.
拜托 拜托你正常工作啊 Please! Please work!
上帝保佑 我到达了大桥的顶端 Mercifully, I reach the top of the bridge.
但是随后... But then...
彻底挂了 It's dead.
该死 没有刹车了 我没刹车了 Shit, I've lost braking. I have lost braking.
我的天 手刹也没有了 Bloody hell. Handbrake not working, either.
我什么刹车都没有了 I've lost all brakes.
那么我就只剩下唯一的减速工具了 There was only one thing for it.
我没有刹车了 I have no brakes!
你撞了我们的车 You've just hit our car!
我什么刹车都没有了 I haven't got any brakes!
他们对于'被当作刹车'这件事非常不开心 They're not pleased about being used as a brake.
顺便说一句 这在法国的公路上 是完全非法的 This is totally illegal, by the way, on a French motorway.
那么 我现在没了刹车 也没了引擎 Right, so I've no brakes and no engine.
动脑想想 杰里米 动脑想想 Think, Jeremy, think.
港口 你好啊 Port. Yes, hello.
还不知道杰里米的困境 Unaware of Jeremy's problems,
我正努力向终点飞奔 I was keeping the hammer down.
出来度假的游客 Holiday-makers!
我讨厌出来度假的人 I hate holiday-makers!
卡车 Trucks.
我要遇上一大堆卡车了 I'm going to get caught up with all the trucks.
与此同时 回到神秘船长那边... Meanwhile, back in the land of Captain Cryptic...
你们造么 我现在非常放松 Do you know, I'm so relaxed about this,
我认为 稍过一会儿 我要停下来安静的喝一杯咖啡 I think, in a short while, I might stop for a pleasant coffee
并且还能看一会儿报纸 and a read of the newspaper.
我可没时间被你堵着 不好意思 兄弟 Not got time for you, mate. I'm sorry.
对向来车 Car! Car!
哦 上帝啊 又一个环岛 Oh, God. Another roundabout.
感觉特么就像在城里一样 It's like I'm in the middle of bloody town.
我要走自己的路 I need to find my own route.
这里一定有小路可以包抄 There must be sneaky ways through.
这里估计挺好 这里应该不错 This could be good. This could be good.
那边 Down there.
死路一条 Dead end.
不是这条路 该死 Not that way. Bloody hell.
我的包抄策略实施不妙 My shortcut wasn't going well.
他们俩现在在哪 更重要的是 我现在在哪 Where are they and more importantly where am I?
这就是个错误 使得局面越来越糟 This was a mistake. This is making things worse.
完全就是浪费时间 It's just costing time.
并且 正如事情结果那样 And, as it turned out,
我的时间确实不富裕 time was something I didn't have.
我现在只剩下一个涡轮增压器了 I am now down to one turbo charger,
但是我又重回竞争队伍中了 but I'm back in the race.
没错 我现在正驾驶一辆雷诺DCI 120拖车 Yes, I'm at the wheel of a Renault DCI 120 tow truck.
并且我决定 '笔直的'前往港口 And what's more, I've decided to head for the port as the crow flies.
哦 太棒了 Oh, yes!
哦 上帝啊 Oh, God, no!
现在看上去不赖 This looks good.
没错 渡轮港口 Yes. Ferry terminal.
现在一切都正确了 This is all correct.
那是杰里米 That is Jeremy!
那是哈蒙德 There's Hammond!
他在干什么 What is he doing?
干掉他 Kill him!
我一定要赢 一定要赢 I have to win. I have to win.
又是环岛 有没有搞错 真的假的 A roundabout. Oh, bloody hell. Really?
但是问题在于 勒阿弗尔港口实在是太大了 The problem was that the port of Le Havre is so vast
结构也很复杂 很容易使人迷路 and so complex, it was very easy to get lost.
现在依旧每个人都可能会赢 This was still anyone's race.
鼹鼠在哪 船长在哪 Where is Hammond? Where is May?
船在哪 Where is the boat?
拜托 拜托 Come on, come on, come on.
走错了 走错路了 This is wrong. This is wrong.
港口一定在这下面 It's got to be down here.
没错 Yes!
我刚才油门底下是卡了什么地毯么 Did I have some carpet stuck under the throttle?
因为现在我的DCI 120速度飞快啊 Cos my DCI 120's going like a bastard!
没错 看上去不错 就是这里没错 Yes! This looks good. This is the place.
好货车 好货车 船就在那里 Good van. Good van. The boat is there.
理查德哈蒙德在那里 船长在吗 There is Richard Hammond. Is James May here?
不 他不在 No, he is not!
他不在这里 He is not.
太好了 Yes!
哈哈 船长不在 Ha-ha! No May?
当然不在 也不会在 No, and there wouldn't be,
因为我在港口的另一边 because I was in another part of the port
进行我自己的旅行计划 with my own travel plans.
昨晚 在那两个货睡着之后 Last night, after the other two had gone to bed,
我把公司的游艇安排过来在这里等我 I arranged for our company yacht to be waiting for me in the harbour.
船就在那里 And there it is!
我轻松的冲过去 跳到降落平台上 I simply drive up, hop aboard,
之后我们就直接走人了 and then we'll be on our way.
-他居然活下来了 好讨厌 He lived, annoyingly. -等一下 等一下 Hold on, hold on.
等一下 哈蒙德 Hold on. Hammond.
我必须要问你一句 I need to ask you about this.
为什么你要在我车后面贴"Deshabille" Why did you stick "Deshabille" on my car?
因为你的确残疾了 Because you were disabled.
这个法语词是指没穿衣服 你个二货 Déshabillé means undressed, you moron!
咱们就别纠结 Let's not get bogged down
"哦 我们不会说法语"了 with "Ooh, can't speak French."
我们还是说正事吧 也就是 詹姆斯梅 Let's get to the point which is, James May,
你不仅输了比赛 还毁了我们公司的游艇 you lost and you broke the company yacht.
-的确 You did. -等一下 Hang on a minute.
我的车比你们的车距离英国更近啊 My car got closer to England than yours did.
是啊 你的车还距离海底更近呢 Yes, but the other thing it got closest to was the bottom of the sea.
说这些都是废话 因为我的车是最好的 All of that is irrelevant because my car was the best,
因为它一点毛病都没出 cos it didn't go wrong at all.
我的车也非常可靠啊 Mine was perfectly reliable.
是啊 我的车跟船长的胳膊一样可靠 Mm-hm. Mine was as reliable as James's arms.
然而神奇的是 没有人能够找出车子究竟出了什么问题 And the extraordinary thing is, no-one can work out what was wrong with it.
那东西从卡车后面掉下来了啊 It fell off the back of a lorry.
我是说没有人能够搞清楚 No-one can work out what fault it had
什么原因导致我的车会走上拖车 that caused it to be on the lorry in the first place.
并且现在9个月过去了 And even nine months down the line,
2位非常专业的玛莎拉蒂技师也没能搞清楚问题所在 two trained Maserati mechanics are totally stumped.
这车就是个世界未解之谜啊 It is an unfathomable fault.
好吧 也就是说 我们这次在法国北部的详细测评 可以得出结论 Yeah, so what we can conclude from our exhaustive testing in the north of France
如果你买了一辆老玛莎拉蒂 is that if you buy a used Maserati,
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它有66%的几率不会出毛病 you have a 66% chance of it working.
这个几率也不赖啊 They're not bad odds.
你要是在做眼科手术的话 就不会这么认为了 You wouldn't say that if you were having an eye operation.
没错 那么在这个非常糟糕的失望消息之后 节目该结束了 Exactly. And on that terrible disappointment, it's time to end.
非常感谢各位的收看 晚安 Thank you so much for watching. Good night!
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