幻灭
第二季 第六集
暖意 宿醉 然后是旋转 Ah! Toasty, drunken slumber. And here come the spins.
给穿着裤子的公主让让路 翻滚中 Make way for the pants-wearing princess. Rolling through.
你们不知道她有多会翻 都退后 Doesn't know how good she's got it. Stand back.
你把我装进了酒鬼桶里 You put me in a drunkard's cloak?
对不起 公主 这是你父亲的命令 Sorry, Princess. Orders of your pa.
他想让你在羞愧中清醒 He figured he'd shame you into sobriety.
当然 这种公开处刑 Of course, these public
只会引发更多的越界行为 humiliations only lead to more transgressive behavior.
你的破桶关不住我 Your fancy barrels can't hold me.
不 Oh, no!
俺的洗澡水 15分一杯 Me-flavored water, 15 cents.
小姑娘 这个角落是我的地盘 接着滚 Hey, girly! This is my corner! Roll along now! Git!
俺的洗澡水 15分一杯 尝尝我屁股的味道 Me-flavored water, 15 cents. Come taste my buttocks!
我认为今天下午的税收 I think the afternoon tax haul is even more impressive
比上午的税收还要让人印象深刻 陛下 than this morning's, Your Majesty.
终于有钱装进宝库了 We've finally got money to put in the vault,
因为我把所有的钱都用来造宝库了 since I spent all that money putting in the vault.
你好 小碧 长点教训了吗 Oh. Hello, Bean. Learn your lesson?
你心里明白得很 你什么都教不了我 You know perfectly well you can't teach me a damn thing.
换我也想不出更好的说辞了 I couldn't have said it better myself.
闭嘴 奥德瓦 我很烦你来掺和我们父女的事 Oh, shut up, Odval. I'm sick of you coming between me and my dad.
陛下 我要站到你们中间吗 桶片飞来了 Sire, shall I come between you? Oh! Here comes a barrel plank.
我已经厌烦被当做二等公民对待了 And I'm sick of being treated like a second-class citizen
还要屈服于你的铁腕之下 who you can strong-arm into submission.
这是从精灵那里强征的税 Here are the taxes we coerced from the elves.
我没有生气 不过你这时机太不合适了 I'm not mad, but your timing is awful.
再见 各位 Goodbye, everyone.
你太可悲了 我已经彻底厌倦你了 Ugh! You're pathetic. I am so over you.
没踩上 太慢了 Missed me. Too slow!
第一季 第十六章
梦境的工作
我要啤酒 I need beer!
别说话 路西要和马伯斯扳手腕 Shut up! Luci's about to arm-wrestle Mumbles
还妄图赢下整个酒吧 to try and win the whole bar.
数到三 准备好了吗 On the count of three, ready?
一 二 三 One, two, three.
太棒了 Yes!
路西万岁 新的吧主诞生了 All hail Luci, our new bar owner!
路西 你赢下了赌注 而且基本没作弊 Wow, Luci, you won the bet, and you barely cheated.
我一直都很想把人慢慢毒死 You know, I've always wanted to slowly poison people.
-干杯 你们这群堕落的人 -太棒了 - Drink up, degenerates! - Yeah!
我恨佐格 I hate Zog!
去他的佐格 Down with Zog!
他比那只威胁了我们五年的浣熊还恶心 He's worse than that raccoon that terrorized us for five years.
这么萌的嘘声是闹哪样 What's with all the cute booing?
没什么 佐格一直在给 Nothing. Zog's just been taxing
精灵加税 他们都食不果腹了 the elves to the point they're starving to death,
别客气 继续说你当公主的烦恼吧 but please, tell us more about your princess problems.
他以为自己能够为所欲为 Ugh! He thinks he can do whatever he wants!
国王就是这样的 That is how kings work.
他只不过是一个恶霸 一个小偷罢了 He's nothing but a bully and a thief.
只会往自己的蠢宝库里堆钱 He's just stockpiling money in his stupid vault.
如果有人把钱全偷回来 他会是什么反应 How would he like it if someone stole it all back from him?
有传言说你想从宝库里 Word on the street is you need to
取些钱出来 get some money out of a stupid vault.
我叫格里夫托 我对盗窃还略知一二 Name's Grifto. And I know a thing or two about stealing.
我的零钱包 你不错 My change purse! You're good.
-还有你的鞋 -哇 你擦过了吗 - Here's your shoes. - Whoa! And you polished 'em?
我是精灵 我和我的朋友 我们会修任何东西 I am an elf. Me and my friends, we fix all kinds of things.
鞋子 皮带 经济不公 凉鞋 我来引荐你 Shoes, belts, economic injustice, sandals. I'll introduce you.
潜入城堡可不像每天从窗边拿馅饼那么简单 Now, heisting a castle is not your everyday windowsill pie grab.
我们需要专家 见见皮罗 火焰大师 We're gonna need specialists. Meet Pyro, master of fire.
我与火为生 并经常伴有消化不良 I live a life of flame and constant indigestion.
这位是雪莉 世界上最强壮的精灵 This is Shelly, world's strongest elf.
我的内心也很强大 I'm also strong on the inside.
养着两个宝贝的单亲妈妈 Single mom to two absolute treasures.
这是橡皮人 扭曲的王者 And this is Elastico, king of contortion.
这好恶心 That's disgusting.
再见见巴掌宝 兽语者 Meet Slappo, the beast whisperer.
我会用这巴掌告诉他们谁是老大 I show 'em who's boss with a slap of my hand.
无论发生任何情况 我们都有人手应付 We got someone for every eventuality.
我信了 Wow. I'm sold.
只要你们中间没人叫告密宝 As long as you don't have a Snitcho.
我们不开告密宝的玩笑 We don't joke about Snitcho.
皇家乳酪及模具存放处
好了 准备好 要上了 Okay, get ready. Here we go.
禁止在金币堆里打滚
路西的地狱酒馆
给 面瘫 一杯热牛奶 Here you go, Pickle Puss. One hot-buttered milk.
希望能把你呛死了 Hope you choke on it!
你收巧克力币吗 我只有这个了 You take chocolate coins? It's all I have left.
被那个人压榨干了 真可怜 Taken advantage of by the Man, huh? That's rough.
我看看 今天的税率 Let's see. At today's exchange rate,
一个佐格 要七十个巧克力币 for one Zog, I'm gonna need 70 chocolate coins.
你这个轻量级的精灵要点什么 So, what can I get a lightweight like you?
要不要来一杯原汁原味的恶魔口水 How about a shot of hundred-proof demon spit?
三杯威士忌 Whiskey, triple.
好啊 终于有精灵点酒了 All right, an elf finally orders a real drink.
喝酒会让你更有男人味 老兄 That'll put hair on your chest, my man.
-我说错什么了 -精灵没有体毛 - What'd I say? - Elves can't grow body hair.
好处是 我们随时都能穿比基尼 On the plus side, we're always bikini ready.
喝虾味鸡尾酒会醉吗 Can I get drunk from a shrimp cocktail?
我反正已经醉了 I sure have.
天哪 Oh, God.
小碧 你今天有什么新鲜事吗 任何事都行 Bean, did anything happen to you today? Anything at all?
没什么特别的 但我看城里来了个马戏团 Nothing out of the ordinary, but I saw a circus in town.
挺不错的 It was pretty cool.
所以我密谋 打算 So I was scheming... I mean, I was planning...
我是想 I mean, I was just thinking,
也许我们能让马戏团来这表演 maybe we could have the circus come here to perform?
我不清楚 马戏团 有太多地方要注意了 I don't know. A circus? That's a lot of paying attention.
可以让我的大键琴队表演 大键琴之猫 We could have my harpsichord group perform, the Harpsichordicats!
不 我的意思是 也许下周吧 No! I mean, maybe next week.
马戏团明天就要出城了 The circus is only in town until tomorrow,
大键琴之猫随时都能表演 and the Harpsichordicats are always available,
因为它们只是住在大键琴里的猫 'cause they're just cats that live in a harpsichord.
我选马戏团 I choose the circus.
至于大键琴 把它切成两半 And as for the harpsichord, we'll cut it in half.
天哪 真的要这样吗 Oh, my gosh, we're really doing this?
我们要从老爸那边偷钱 We're going to steal from your dad?
我不能进监狱 小碧 I can't go to jail, Bean.
别担心 我们不会进监狱的 Don't worry, we're not gonna go to jail.
如果他抓着我们 会先杀了我们 If he catches us, he'll kill us first.
只要保持冷静就没事 We'll be fine as long as we stay calm.
下一曲 我想演奏 For my next number, I'd like to play
《G大调大键琴奏鸣曲 三只暴躁的猫》 "Sonata in G for Harpsichord and Three Agitated Cats."
路西的地狱酒馆 欢迎精灵光临
我想告诉大伙 你们烂透了 Hey, I wanna tell you folks, you're the absolute worst.
你们从不付小费 老板还是个混蛋 You don't tip, and the owner is a jerk.
打烊了 你们这些混蛋都滚出去 Closing time! Get out, you bastards!
希望还有余兴的爵士乐表演 我想坐一会 I hope there's an after-hour jam session. I wanna sit in.
我不喜欢音乐 I don't care for music.
潜入城堡的计划 The castle plans.
每次我爸卡门了 就会改造一遍 My father remodels every time he gets stuck in a door.
好了 Okay.
通往宝库的唯一途径 Now, the only way to the vault
是通过这条位于王座室底下 is through a heavily-defended hallway here
有重兵把守的走廊 directly under the throne room, right here,
然后通过布满陷阱的壕沟 then over a deep booby-trapped moat,
穿过一扇锁着的大门 through a giant guarded and
最后在这进入金库 locked door right here and into the vault,
你们可以看到 as you can see right here,
我听说里面布有最先进的警报系统 which I hear has a state-of-the-art alarm system.
然后 我们把钱拿走 Then, we gotta get the money out.
我不太懂 这图是倒的 Oh, I don't know. This looks upside down to me.
别担心 Don't worry about it.
你只要带我们越过守卫 You just get us in the castle past the guards,
剩下的交给我们 最后在这里汇合 and we'll handle the rest. Then we'll rendezvous back here.
别管守卫了 Forget the guards.
最难的一关肯定是通过我爸 The hardest part is going to be getting past my dad.
懂吗 因为他体型很大 Get it? 'Cause he's so big?
就像个胖子一样 Like... He's like a fat man.
我开玩笑的 我一紧张就会说笑话 I'm kidding. I joke when I'm nervous.
我还挺害怕这种情况的 I'm actually really scared of the situation.
别担心 亲爱的 我们是一个团队 Don't worry, honey. We're all a team here.
我们都会为你打气 We're rootin' for ya.
搞砸了我立马翻脸 Blow this and I will turn on you so fast.
天哪 有马戏团来城堡了 Oh, boy, a circus right here in the castle!
我们甚至都不用挪屁股 And we don't even have to get off our fat asses.
我要对看到的每一样东西做现场转述 I'm gonna give a running commentary of everything I see.
爸 安静点 要开始了 Dad, be quiet. It's starting.
别担心 Don't worry.
不要一小时 就会结束了 We'll all be in and out of here in less than an hour.
但我将会永远珍藏这份回忆 But my memories will last a lifetime.
欢迎 欢迎 Welcome, welcome,
欢迎来到格里夫托大师的扯淡马戏团 welcome to Master Grifto's Flimflam Circus!
做好惊艳的准备吧 我敢说 会闪瞎你们的眼 Prepare to be amazed, dazzled, dare I say, blindsided?
因为今晚会是一个特殊的夜晚 Because tonight is a special night!
我们为国王专门准备了一个演出 The show we've got planned is fit only for a king.
好吧 我想还不错 Okay, yeah, that's pretty good, I guess. Sure.
你逗我玩呢吧 Are you freakin' kiddin' me with that?
他们在逗你玩 They are freakin' kiddin' you with this!
那边的家伙 This guy right there!
扔刀 Pull!
没扎到 没扎到 没扎到 Missed. Missed. Missed.
这太恶心人了 That's disgusting.
感觉没新花样了 是吗 Seems a little lackluster, no?
他没其他精灵那么有天赋 He's not as talented as the others.
也许他只是精灵的表亲 Maybe he's a cousin.
别摸我
一切按计划进行 顺带一提 巴掌宝被杀了 Everything's on schedule. Slight hiccup, they killed Slappo.
-什么 -就是啊 他们怎么办到的 - What? - I know! How'd they do it?
巴掌宝怎么了 天哪 What happened to Slappo? Oh, my God!
没事 一切正常 Everything's fine. It's fine.
谁说没事 有人死了 你怎么这么冷静 No, it isn't! Someone's dead! How are you so calm?
这就是现在的我 你一手造就的 This is who I am now. This is who you've made me.
你带我们经历了这么多生死攸关的时刻 You've gotten us into so many life-threatening scenarios,
我的身体都不会表现出恐惧了 my body no longer registers fear.
-赶紧上去 小碧 -但是 - Run on upstairs, Bean. - But--
快跑 Skedaddle.
-蒂尔碧妮 -该死的 - Tiabeanie. - Damn it.
自己解释一下吧 还有他们和楼上那家伙 Explain yourself. And them. And the guy on the floor.
就现在 Now.
我要拿出我的铃铛了 I'm reaching for my hand bell.
好吧 Well, see... Okay.
是这样的 我想让你知道 Here's the thing... that I wanted you to know,
就是 我们抱歉 which is... I'm sorry!
这道歉不怎么真诚啊 Ow! That apology doesn't seem very sincere.
该死的 跑过头了 Dang, I went too far.
你见过像这样的表演吗 太神奇了 Have you ever in your life seen anything like this? Amazing!
-你现在喜欢精灵了 -当然 太精彩了 - So, you like the elves now? - How could I not? So impressive!
小碧 这表演让我不禁思考 Beanie, this show has me thinkin'.
我不该向那些穷苦的精灵们强制征税 I shouldn't be taxing those poor elves the way I've been doin'.
他们对王国来说不是负担 而是欣喜 They're not a burden on the kingdom, they're a goddamn delight.
我要把钱还给他们 每一分都还 So I'm gonna give them back their money. Every last bit.
等等 什么 Wait, what?
我以为自己是出于正当原因才去做坏事的 I thought I was doing something bad for a good reason,
但事实证明 我只是做坏事而已 but it turns out I was just doing somethin' bad, you know?
是啊 我太熟悉 Mmm-hmm. Yeah, I'm familiar.
我先失陪一下 Would you please excuse me for a moment?
伙计们 伙计们 Guys! Guys!
我爸想把钱都还给精灵 My dad wants to give all the money back to the elves!
你们得终止行动 等等 出什么事了 We have to call it off! Wait, what the hell is going on?
事实上 公主 The thing is, Princess,
我们才不管那些臭精灵 我们是穴居人 we don't care about no stinkin' elves. We're trolls.
你们是装的 为什么 You were faking it? Why?
我们到处搞诈骗 We run scams all over the place.
当我在酒吧听到你的谈话 And when I overheard you at the bar,
我就知道这会是我们最成功的一场诈骗 I knew this would be our greatest scam of all.
恕我失陪 Now, if you'll excuse me,
我得上楼完成闭幕式了 I'm needed upstairs for the grand finale.
可惜你和你的小朋友见不到这一幕了 Too bad you and your little friend here are gonna miss it.
雪莉 Shelly?
你逃不了的 你这小东西 You'll never get away with this, you tiny little--
我的天 你这女人还真强壮 My goodness, you're a strong lady.
谢谢 我经历得太多了 Thank you. I've been through a lot.
-小碧 -怎么了 艾尔弗 - Bean? - What, Elfo?
有一次 我有麻烦了 One time I got in trouble,
我爸把我捆成这样 and Daddy Elfo tied me up like this, and um...
然后他抽我屁股 he slapped me on the bum-bum.
你现在说这个干嘛 Why are you bringing this up right now?
大伙们 我真的很荣幸 Well, folks, it's been a real pleasure.
希望你们能享受与我们共度的这一晚 I hope you enjoyed your time with us tonight.
三 二 一 Three, two, one!
别对表演艺术产生坏印象 Don't let this reflect badly on the performing arts.
-小碧和艾尔弗呢 -他们怂了 - Where's Bean and Elfo? - They chickened out.
我就知道 这年头谁都不能信 I knew it. Can't trust anybody these days.
这闭幕式真不错 That was a wonderful finale.
听听这铃声 整个城堡都快乐起来了 Listen to all them bells. The whole castle is happy.
蒂尔碧尼 每个公主都梦想着 Tiabeanie, every princess dreams of the moment
被帅气的骑士解救 你的梦想成真了 she gets rescued by a handsome knight. Your moment is now.
这句台词你准备多久了 Ugh. How long you been waitin' to use that line?
两周吧 我一直在上勾引课 Two weeks. I've been taking seduction classes.
-快给我松绑 -好的 - Dude, just untie me. - Okay.
好吧 这是最后一袋了 真够累的 All right, that's the last of it. Quite the haul.
肯定能帮上不少精灵 Gonna help a lot of elves with all this.
是啊 帮助精灵 咱就是为了这个 Yeah, helping elves. That's what it's all about.
我一直以能够了解别人 I pride myself on knowing people,
我可以肯定 你是个好人 格里夫托 and I can tell you're a good guy, Grifto.
是啊 你也是很好的 你是什么 土豚吗 Yeah, and you're a real nice... What are you, like an aardvark?
别担心 Don't you worry,
我们保证每一个金币都用在正确的地方 we'll make sure these coins get to the right place.
记得回来看看 听到了吗 Y'all come back now, you hear?
不 他们逃走了 他们逃走了 No! They got away? They got away!
当然 好多袋金币 Sure did. So many bags of coins.
不敢相信马车居然都装下了 Can't believe they all fit in the carriage.
坏人 他们 Bad guys, they...
我的天 我是骑马来的 My God, I rode a horse.
为什么我会像跑来的一样喘粗气 Why am I breathing like I ran here?
他们朝哪儿走了 也许我们能追上 Well, which way did they go? Maybe we can still catch them.
是啊 我们会砍下他们的头 Yes! And we'll cut off their heads
然后示街游行 以表警告 and parade them through the street as a warning!
天哪 Good God.
没必要 他们已经跑了 No need. They're already gone.
我猜此时此刻 Yeah, I bet at this very moment,
他们肯定在一边休息 一边嘲笑你们这些笨蛋 they're kicking back and having a good laugh at you suckers.
他在嘲讽我们吗 Is he mocking us?
是啊 但当他把手放在屁股上时 Yes, but when he puts his hand on his hip,
通常只是在表明观点 he's usually making a point.
请说得有意义一点 Please let there be a point.
好的 他们会一直笑 直到他们发现 Yep, they'll be laughing right up until the moment...
"美味巧克力币" "E pluribus num num"?
不 No!
发现我把他们的金币 ...they realize I swapped out
掉包成巧克力币了 their gold coins for chocolate ones.
什么 你怎么知道的 What? How did you know?
金币只有在外表上一样 小碧 The coins only look the same on the outside, Bean.
一旦咬穿金色包装 就很明显了 Once you gnaw through the gold wrapping, it's pretty obvious.
我的意思是 你怎么知道他们骗了我们 I mean how did you know they were conning us?
只要是优秀的调酒师 Well, any good mixologist
就知道精灵是永远不会点烈酒的 knows an elf would never order hard liquor.
三杯威士忌 Whiskey, triple.
还有精灵告诉你他不喜欢音乐 And then an elf tells you he doesn't like music?
我不喜欢音乐 I don't care for music.
我佯装淡定 心里却想"什么鬼" I played it cool, but in my head, I was like, "What?"
然后 我在快下班的时清理厕所 And then, I was cleanin' up the bathrooms at the end of my shift,
在商界 我们称为"副业" in the biz, we call that "Side work,"
我发现洗手池里有把剃刀 上面有胸毛 when I found a razor in the sink with chest hair on it.
猜猜最后一个进去的是谁 Well, guess who was the last one to go in there?
-那又如何 -精灵不会长体毛 - So what? - Elves can't grow body hair!
所以我才不在更衣室里洗浴 It's why I don't shower in the locker room.
没错 我就是那时候发现的 Boom! And that's when I knew.
这些家伙不是精灵 These guys weren't elves,
-他们是矮人 -穴居人 - they were dwarves. - Trolls.
我还是猜到 Oh. Well, I was still right on
他们把你耍了 所以我掉包了金币 about them playing you, so I switched the coins.
都在这 除了最顶上的一点 It's all here. Except for a little off the top.
我的服务费 Service charge.
真厉害 路西 你是英雄 This is amazing! Luci, you're a hero!
这我就不确定了 Well, I don't know about that.
好吧 他只是 Okay, he's just a little
不习惯被夸奖 我们继续吧 uncomfortable with praise, so let's move on.
得把金币还给精灵 继续行动吧 We gotta get the money to the elves. Let's keep it movin'.
劫富济贫 Steal from the jerks! Give to the wimps!
闭嘴 Sh-Sh-Shut up!
我可不想让别人知道我们是怎么拿到钱的 I don't want people finding out how we got the money.
对对对 Oh. Right, right, right.
佐格国王为每一个懦弱的精灵退的税 Tax rebates for every wimp! From King Zog!
佐格万岁 佐格万岁 佐格万岁 Long live Zog! Long live Zog! Long live Zog!
陛下 我有要事相告 Sire, I have something important to tell you.
现在不行 我正被人民爱戴着呢 Not now, I'm being adored.
看看他们 敬爱着他们慷慨的国王 Look at 'em down there, loving their generous king.
我为人民做了件善事 我是个很好的国王 I did a nice thing for the people. I'm a very good king.
但你什么也没干啊 你只是看了场马戏 But you didn't do anything. You just watched a circus.
拿桶来 奥德瓦 把你滚了 Get a barrel, Odval.