我分析完了你的血液样本 Now that I've analyzed your blood samples,
样本泄露是极度危险的 it's way too dangerous to get out in the world.
雷霆弹 你得手了吗 Thunderball, did you get it?
没有 我穿不透她恶心的绿皮肤 No. I couldn't pierce that nasty green skin.
《女浩克》前情提要 Previously on She-Hulk...
这是泰坦妮亚环球有限公司的法庭文书 I've got court documents filed by Titania Worldwide LLC.
泰坦妮亚之女浩克
她要起诉你商标滥用 She's suing for trademark misuse.
你在利用我的名字来售卖你的那些破烂产品 You're using my name to sell your trashy products.
你要是想做我的客户 就穿得得体一点 To be my client, dress like you respect yourself
不要穿得像酒后驾驶的足球运动员一样 and not like a football player pleading no contest to a DUI.
卢克 这位是女浩克 Luke, this is the She-Hulk.
我的天啊 Oh, my God.
因为我恋爱软件上的资料写的是女浩克 Because I made a dating profile as She-Hulk,
我的每个约会对象都是有力的证人 every single one of those dates is a corroborating witness.
如果女浩克以珍妮佛·沃特斯的形象示人 Would you have gone on the date
你还会赴约吗 if She-Hulk had instead presented as Jennifer Walters?
珍不太是我喜欢的类型 She's not really my type.
法庭裁定支持珍妮佛·沃特斯 女浩克 The court finds in favor of Jennifer Walters, aka She-Hulk.
这事没完 This isn't over, hater.
真好 Oh, goodie.
珍
珍 你不用带卢克·雅各布森的职业装 No, Jen, you don't need to bring a Luke Jacobson business suit
做我的伴娘好吗
哒 你当然会了
去婚礼 to the wedding.
我想看他给你做的超级套装 I wanna see the supersuit that he made you.
为什么 我永远不会穿的 Why? I'll never wear it.
拜托 你急死我了 Come on. You're killing me!
急死一个有趣的人更过分 It's double the sin to kill a fun person.
不 快看卢克给我做的 No, no, no. Look at the dress that
在排演晚宴上穿的裙子 Luke made me for the rehearsal dinner.
-什么 - 是的 - What? - Yeah.
- 我的天啊 - 喜欢吗 - Oh, my God! - Do you love it?
浩克姐姐穿这个一定很辣 You're gonna look hot as Shulky.
这也是个参加婚礼的理由 That's a reason to go to the wedding.
没错 这其实是我特别激动的原因 Yes! That's actually the reason I'm really excited to go.
为什么所有人都要在周四办婚礼 Why does anyone have a wedding on a Thursday?
露露是我高中的老朋友 Oh, Lulu's an old friend from high school.
她认识我家所有人 She's like... She knows my whole family.
我表弟切德还是婚礼的DJ My cousin Ched is DJing the wedding.
- 什么 - 没错 - What? - Yes.
不过我们最后也是渐行渐远 But we just, like, gradually grew apart and we don't talk anymore.
为什么请你当伴娘 Why are you a bridesmaid?
可能她觉得她应该这么做吧 'Cause she... I think she just felt obligated to ask me.
我也觉得我应该答应 And I felt obligated to say yes because
再说 你怎么能拒绝当伴娘呢 how do you say no to being a bridesmaid?
说不就行了啊 You just say no.
我也不想让马洛里得接任我留下的案子 I hate that Mallory has to pick up my slack at work.
这只是个离婚案子 It's just a divorce case.
这还给了我跟马洛里 It gives me the opportunity to work
密切共事的机会呢 so much closer with Miss Mallory.
没错 这就是剧集内置的婚礼特辑 Yes, it's a self-contained wedding episode.
如果你觉得婚礼特辑 And if you think this is happening
很不合时宜 你就是对的 at an inconvenient time, you're right.
因为婚礼总是这样 'Cause that's how weddings always are.
不过我会看起来很棒 出发吧 But I'm gonna look great, so let's go.
一起来吧 Let's do it!
珍 Wow, Jen!
这一切都太适合你了 Everything about you is just working!
谢谢你 海瑟 Thank you, Heather!
你把婚礼前的健身计划看得也太重了吧 You took that "Toned Up for the Big Day" workout plan seriously.
- 我确实是 - 是啊 - Yeah, I did. - Yeah.
姐妹 你的翘臀太棒了 Girl, your ass looks crazy right now.
太美了 Incredible!
所有人都有屁股 嗨 珍 Everybody has an ass. Hi, Jen.
嗨 露露 我的天 Hi, Lulu! Oh, my God!
我能单独跟你聊聊吗 Um, can I talk to you for a second?
- 我不敢相信你这么对我 - 什么 - I can't believe you're doing this. - What?
你把大家的注意力都吸引到 这个上面了 Taking all the attention away from me with your... This.
没人会注意到我的 No one's gonna be looking at me.
他们都会看着你 这可是你的大日子 All eyes will be on you. It's your big day.
我知道 I know it's my big day.
我不想让你在我的婚礼上一副浩克的样子 I don't want you to be Hulk-y at my wedding.
向我保证 珍 Promise me, Jen.
你保证 Promise?
我保证 在你的婚礼上 我就是普通的珍 I promise. I will just show up as regular Jen at your wedding.
- 谢谢你 - 没事 - Thank you. - Yeah. Okay. You're okay.
今天是我的大日子 It's my big day!
显然 就这一次我不想仅仅以珍的形象出场 Obviously, this is the one time I didn't wanna show up as just Jen.
女浩克 第一季第六集 只是珍
杰克森 山姆 格雷和马克 Jackson, Sam, Greg, and Mark.
他们是亚当的伴郎 They're Adam's groomsmen.
如果他们都组对了 我是不是也该有个伴郎 So if everyone's coupled up, do I not have a groomsman?
珍 我们当然不会让你一个人 Jen! We would not leave you hanging like that.
我们的婚礼会那么不靠谱吗 Do you think we want our wedding to look insane?
你到时候会跟乔纳森一起 You're gonna be walking with Jonathan.
他明天会来婚礼 He'll be at the ceremony tomorrow.
我的天 乔纳森 我好爱他 Oh, my God! Jonathan! I love him.
乔纳森可是最棒的 Jonathan is literally the best!
那太好了 Oh! Awesome. Okay!
好的 霍利斯先生 All right, Mr. Hollis.
叫我不朽先生 Uh, Mr. Immortal.
抱歉 你不是刚说你叫克雷格·霍利斯吗 I'm sorry. Didn't you say your name was Craig Hollis?
是的 但我喜欢被称作不朽先生 这样更精辟 It is. But I go by Mr. Immortal. It's pithier.
当然 Sure.
不朽先生 你刚刚说到 Mr. Immortal, you were saying.
对 我知道这可能不是那种典型的离婚案 Right. Yes, I know that this is not your typical divorce case
但是我需要你的帮助 but I need you to help me out,
我承受不了协议索赔的那么多钱 otherwise this settlement could bleed me dry.
离婚确实很艰难 Mmm. Divorce is hard.
是啊 我又不是没结过婚 Yeah. It's not like I didn't try marriage out.
我结过好几次婚 I did. Several times.
事实上 可能没人比我结婚次数更多了 In fact, it could be said that no one has tried more than me.
可能就是 Probably literally.
我是个好人 我不想伤害任何人的感情 I'm a good guy. I don't wanna hurt anybody's feelings.
但是 不可避免地 新鲜感总是会过去 But you know, inevitably, things go stale.
那可是段艰难的交流 But that is a tough conversation.
"我不想再跟你过下去了 "I don't want to be married to you anymore.
在感情上你太让我窒息了 I find that you are emotionally suffocating me,
而且你总是穿奇怪的睡衣" and you wear weird pajamas."
你能怪我在交通高峰期冲进车流 Can you blame me for walking out into traffic during rush hour
把一切都结束吗 and putting an end to the whole issue right there?
- 等等 什么 - 让我理理 - Wait, what? - Let me get this straight.
你是在说你宁愿自杀 Are you saying that instead of having a conversation with your wife,
也不想跟你的妻子好好谈谈 you kill yourself to get out of the relationship?
我没有自杀 我是不朽先生 Whoa, whoa, whoa, I don't kill myself.
所以我不会死 I'm immortal. So, I can't die.
你是觉得一个拥有法学学位的女人 You think this woman with a law degree doesn't know
不知道不朽是什么意思吗 what immortal means?
不过在我这 我确实死了 在法律层面上 Well, but in, in my case, I do die, but only in the legal sense.
所以你会死 So you die.
我会死 不过只是一段时间 但是我确实会死 I do, "I die." But only for a... "Kinda die" for... But I do die.
你从来没对自己的这套方法感到愧疚吗 Did you ever feel bad about this tactic?
- 像我说的 我是个好人 - 你确实说过 - Like I said, I'm a nice guy. - You said that.
是啊 如果你像我一样 Yeah, if you have the opportunity,
你会觉得这是最贴心的离婚方式了 I think this is the most considerate way to end a marriage.
这可不是贴心 That's not the word you want.
不 你只是不知道怎么 No, you just don't know how to have
面对任何的冲突罢了 any sort of confrontation whatsoever.
我还以为 Oh, I thought that this...
律师不能对客户指指点点呢 That lawyers were supposed to not be judgmental.
不 他们只需要为你辩护而已 No, they just have to represent you. I'm tapping out.
确实 结束一段感情是很艰难 Obviously, ending a relationship is hard.
但是配偶去世也很令人悲痛 But so is grieving the death of a spouse.
我不确定我应该担心哪方面 政府 税收 I'm not sure who I should worry about. The government, tax?
当时有保险理赔吗 Was there an insurance claim?
至少我们知道他是怎么做到的了 Well, at least now we know how he does it.
珍 我太不好了 Oh, Jen. Jen. I'm the worst.
我们还没来得及聊聊 We haven't even gotten to catch up at all.
你怎么样 你最近在干什么 How are you? What have you been up to?
我啊 Oh, I'm...
其实 我现在是GLK&H新部门的领导人 Actually, I'm the head of a new department at GLK and H,
是国内最有声望的律所之一 which is, like, one of the most prestigious law firms in the country,
还有 你知道的 我有超能力了 太疯狂了 and I mean, as you saw, I now have superpowers, which is nuts.
不 这些我不想知道 No, I didn't mean... I don't want that.
你现在有约会对象吗 有男朋友吗 Are you dating a guy? Is there a boy in your life?
不 不 不 不 Oh. No. No, no. No.
我很抱歉 你会找到那个人的 不要难过 Oh, no! I'm sorry. You'll find someone. Don't feel bad.
我不难过 Oh, I don't feel bad.
这就对了 你还剩一点点时间 That's right! You know what, you still have a little time.
露露 站爱德华还是雅各布 Lulu! Team Edward or Jacob?
别说了 你知道我和这两个演员都约过会 Oh, my... Let it rest! You know I dated both those actors.
怎么回事 What the hell?
珍 见到你真高兴 Hey, Jen! So good to see you.
我喜欢你不修边幅的样子 I love that you never make any effort at all.
你在这干什么 What are you doing here?
这可是我好朋友的婚礼 This is my friend's very real wedding!
你别在这乱搞 You can't pull your crap here!
现在算是聊完天了 Okay. Well, I see the chit-chat is over.
我对你极度粗鲁的问题的回答是 The answer to your extremely rude question
我正好在新郎的朋友约会 is that I happen to be dating a friend of the groom,
他邀请的我 and he invited me.
- 泰坦妮亚 - 嗨 姐妹 - Titania! - Hey, girl, hey!
你来了 你那么忙 You made it! You're so busy, though.
日理万机呢 You have, like, 5,000 businesses.
- 是的 - 对啊 - I do. - Yeah.
什么 不 她混进来这场婚礼 What? No. No. She has weaseled her
是为了搞我 way into this wedding to mess with me.
这也太明显了 为什么没人看出来呢 That is so obvious. Why does nobody else see that?
你现在真的很吵 Okay, you're being very loud.
珍 我能明白你的意思 Jen, I hear you. Again. I do.
但是你现在听起来像疯了 But you sound insane right now.
泰坦妮亚不会专门来我的婚礼 Titania wouldn't just show up to my wedding,
就是为了谋杀你什么的 try and trying to kill you or something.
我真的只是来庆祝新娘与新郎之间的爱情 I'm literally just here to celebrate the love of Lulu and her groom.
- 这就是全部了 好吗 - 你太贴心了 - That's all, okay? - That's so sweet.
不是所有事情都与你有关的 珍妮佛 Yeah. See? Not everything is about you, Jennifer.
随便 Whatever!
- 抱歉 我知道这有点奇怪 - 不好意思 - Sorry. I know this is a little weird. - Oh, sorry.
我还没掌握怎么不太尴尬地向陌生人打招呼 I haven't perfected the least awkward way to approach a stranger.
- 你确实要再加把劲 - 是啊 - Yeah, could use a little work. - Yeah.
为了我再搞砸一次打招呼加把劲 Work on that for the next time I bungle another intro.
- 可以 - 我是乔什 - Cool. - I'm Josh.
- 珍 - 新娘还是新郎那边的 - Jen. - Bride or groom?
新娘 我和露露是高中同学 Bride. I went to high school with Lulu.
- 你呢 - 新郎那边的 - You? - Groom.
但是也没分得那么清 But it all blends together.
- 我能问个问题吗- 好呀 - Can I ask you a question? - Yeah.
你能再带一位来参加婚礼吗 Did they give you a plus one for this?
我不懂他们怎么决定的 Cause I don't understand the matrix they used to decide.
我不能 但是我不在意 Yeah, they didn't, but I don't mind.
其实 我的计划是跟一位非常漂亮的 See, my plan was to strike up a very normal conversation
大吃糖坚果的女士开展一场十分普通的聊天 with a beautiful woman stuffing her face with candied nuts.
我很擅长遵守计划 I'm very good at sticking to my plans.
- 是啊 我能看出来 - 是啊 - Yeah. I can tell. - Yeah.
我的天 珍 真高兴我找到你了 Oh, my gosh, Jen. Oh, my gosh, I'm so happy I found you.
一半的员工都因为"我对他们的态度"辞职了 Half the staff is quitting because of "how I'm treating them."
你能帮我打扫这里吗 Could you help me clean up around here?
打理一下 洗一下这些杯子 Straighten up? Take up some of these empties, tidy up?
我需要你帮忙 在里面 I could use your help. It's on the inside, please?
- 当然 - 谢谢你 珍 - Yeah. Yep. - Thank you, Jen.
- 好 好 - 待会见 - Yeah, yeah. - See you later.
再见 Bye.
七万五千美金的信用卡欠款 $75,000 of credit card debt,
而保罗在账单送达的前一天突然消失了 and Paul conveniently disappears the day the bill came.
我这么多年来独自抚养小史宾塞长大 Well, I never saw a dime for raising
从来没见着一分钱的抚养费 Spencer Jr. alone for all those years.
我在厄尼"误食"氰化物药片后 I spent $10,000 on a New Orleans jazz funeral
花了一万美元举办新奥尔良爵士风葬礼 after Arnie accidentally swallowed a cyanide pill.
女士们 先生们 我明白你们的意思 相信我 Ladies and gentlemen, I hear you, believe me.
我想问一句 各位是什么时候发现不朽先生 Can I ask how you all first became aware of Mr. Immortal's
特殊的行为方式 pattern of behavior?
是我发现的 It was because of me.
我朋友给我发了个视频链接 My friend sent me a link to a video
是在天才超级恶棍组织的网站上 posted on that site, Intelligencia.
那个幼稚直男黑粉组织吗 The one for hateful man babies?
是的 就是那个 Yep, that's the one.
天才超级恶棍组织
视频里有个男的 You saw this man walk into
走进繁忙的十字路口 被四辆车撞了 a busy intersection and then he gets hit by four different cars.
结果身体开始复原 之后直接走掉了 His body regenerates and then he just gets up and walks away.
我立刻认出来 那就是我的蠢老公 罗杰 I, of course, immediately recognized my idiot husband, Roger.
这就是我担心的 This is what I was worried about.
你不仅多次伪造死亡 Not only did you fake your own death multiple times,
还伪造假身份 but you also forged multiple fake identities.
说真的 你的配偶们发起刑事诉讼都不过分 Frankly, all of these spouses should be filing criminal charges.
你不坐牢就算走运了 You are lucky you're not in prison.
我永远都无法理解女人 如果我... I will never understand women if I lived to be a... And I will.
理解我的话就行了 Understand this.
我会尽量争取从轻处理 I'll get you the best deal under the circumstances.
- 谢谢你 - 别碰我 - Thank you. - Don't touch me.
但你听着 这可不便宜 But let me tell you this. You're gonna have to pay.
你笑什么 Why are you smiling?
这话有点好笑 It's kinda fun.
她一定会答应的 这就是小珍干的活 No, she'll totally do it. This is such a Jen job.
我一直让她帮我干这种活 I make her do stuff like this.
噢 嗨 伴郎们玩马里奥赛车 Oh! Hey! So, the groomsmen were playing Mario Kart
把衬衫都弄皱了 and their shirts got wrinkled.
天呐 就因为玩游戏吗 Oh, my God, from a video game?
电竞算体育运动了 还有各大平台直播呢 Yeah. Video games are sports now. They're on ESPN and everything.
- 好吧 - 你是负责熨衣服的 对吧 - Yeah. - So you're on ironing duty, right?
- 是吗 - 是啊 新娘队冲啊 - I am? - Yeah. Go bride squad!
太感谢你了 Thank you so much. Amazing.
- 小珍 你的伴郎来啦 - 天呐 他来了 - Jen! Your groomsman is here! - Oh, my God! He's here!
乔纳森来啦 乔纳森 Jonathan is here! Jonathan!
快看跟你一起走红毯的是谁呀 Look who you get to walk down the aisle with!
他太勇敢了 我们今早才给他做了心肺复苏 He's so brave. We had to resuscitate him this morning.
乔纳森 当然了 Jonathan, of course.
呃... Um...
女士们 塞巴斯蒂安 我提议 Ladies, Sebastian, how about this?
我还有八一年买的苹果股票 I still have all of those Apple shares I bought in 1981,
再加上我第一任妻子 plus all the gold left to me
克伦威尔男爵夫人送给我的黄金 by my first wife, Baroness Cromwell.
平分八份给你们做补偿 怎么样 How about we split it evenly, eight ways, and call it a day?
- 很公平 - 慷慨且公平 - Very fair. - Generous and fair.
然后大家就能回归正常生活了 Then everyone can move on with their lives.
我马上开始起草文件 I will draw up the paperwork immediately
- 然后再与各位推进细节 - 等等 - and we will get this all sorted out. - Just a minute.
我嫁给他十八年 她们结婚才三年 We were married for 18 years and she was only with him for three.
凭什么她也能平分 Why should she get the same amount?
因为我给这个蠢货生了个孩子啊 Because I had a kid with this fool.
为什么我们要为她的错误受罚 Why should I be punished for her mistake?
我儿子不是个错误 My son is not a mistake.
你凭什么用错误这个词 You used the word "mistake."
- 我只想要回我的十八年... - 你错了 - I just want my 18 years... - You made a mistake.
错误 错误 错误 Mistake, mistake, mistake.
哟哟哟 大家玩的怎么样 Yo, yo, what's going on, my party people?
我是你们的DJ 无敌浩克 It's your boy, DJ In-ch-ch-chedible Hulk!
- 让派对开始吧... - 无法相信 - Let's get it started... - Unbelievable.
...有请新人 ...for the new couple!
来杯烈的 伙计 Hit me with a heavy pour, buddy.
那要多收五刀 That will be an extra $5.
行吧 Of course.
不然接下来四个小时我还能干嘛 What else am I gonna do for the next four hours?
好的 塞巴斯蒂安 我们这样处理 Okay, I got you. Sebastian, this is what we're gonna do.
你会收到湖草坪陵墓的补偿金 You are gonna be reimbursed for the Lake Lawn mausoleum.
爵士风的葬礼 太时髦了 超爱你的品味 Jazz funeral, so chic. I love your style.
泰勒 你会收到两年的薪水 Taylor, you will receive backpay for the two years
来补偿你辞职帮保罗 that you quit your job to help Paul
在皮德蒙特开玉石店的损失 run a rare jade shop in Piedmont.
谢里尔 要现金是吧 满足你 Cheryll, cash. You want it? You get it.
- 现金万岁 - 艾米 - Cash money! - Amy.
嗯 Yes.
你将获得他诚挚的道歉 You are going to receive a sincere apology
还有眼神交流 with meaningful eye contact.
- 天呐 谢谢你 - 持续至少十五秒钟 - Oh, my God. Thank you. - Lasting at least 15 seconds.
好了 各位 我们的口号是什么 Okay? And remember, everyone. What's our mantra?
- 下不为例 - 对啦 - Never again! - Yes!
我觉得差不多了 马洛里怎么看 And I feel like that is it. Okay. Mallory?
这些赔偿你能接受吗 That all work for you?
嗯 但是...我... Yep. Does... I have a...
眼神交流没有谈判余地了吗 Is that the absolute best you can do on eye contact?
艾米 二十秒的眼神交流怎么样 Amy, that's 20 seconds of eye contact.
简直没完没了 That seems interminable.
毫无疑问 现在场面已经很难看了 This got ugly. There's absolutely no doubt about that.
但我是真心爱过你们所有... But I truly did love each and every...
省省吧 No, save it!
好的 差不多了 Okay! We are done here.
拉莫斯小姐 打破常规 非同凡响 Ms. Ramos, unconventional and excellent.
嗯 Yes!
- 做的很好 - 给我钱钱钱 - Nice job. - Get me my money, yeah.
布鲁斯 你在哪儿呢 Bruce, where are ya?
都好几个礼拜没跟我联系了 I've been trying to get a hold of you for weeks,
还是好几个月 好几天 随便了 or months, or days, or whatever.
记得打给我 大块头 Call me back, you ding dong.
别偷懒 动起来 Do not get lazy on me now. Let's get these feet shufflin', baby.
- 乔什 我以为露露已经把你吃了 - 我的天 - Josh! I thought Lulu had eaten you. - Oh, my gosh.
我还在这儿呢 Oh, no, I'm here.
从周三到周四 我第一见你那么开心 This is the most fun I've seen you have all Wednesday and Thursday.
乔什 乔舒亚 乔先生 Josh. Joshua. Joshinson.
都是好名字 It's a good name.
我父母起的 My parents.
- 是吗 - 是的 - Really? - Yeah.
- 他们也给了你一张帅气的脸 - 噢 是吗 - They gave you a good face, too. - Oh, did they?
谢谢你的赞美 Wow, thank you for that compliment.
我还在想你什么时候才会发现呢 I was wondering when you would notice.
我满脑子都是这场婚礼的事情 I just had my brain on way too much of this wedding stuff,
又大又蠢的婚礼... big dumb marriage, and love...
所以你不是个浪漫的人吗 So you're a romantic? That's what it is?
- 我不反感爱情 - 噢 - I don't actually hate love. - Oh.
我只是想参加一场婚礼 I just wanted to come to one wedding
让所有人看看我过的有多好 and show that I was actually doing pretty good.
- 我没有男朋友 也没有老公 - 了解 - I don't have a boyfriend or a husband. - Good to know.
我来告诉你一个秘密吧 来听我说 Let me tell you a secret. Come here. Listen.
来了 来了 Yeah, I'm coming. I'm coming.
其实我过得很好 Okay, so I'm actually doing really so good.
有一份很棒的工作 律师 And I have a great job. Lawyering the law.
而且我很强壮 And I am so strong.
真的非常强壮 Dude, I'm really strong.
我知道... 确实很有力 Yeah, I can... It's tight.
是啊 而且你还没见过我的女浩克发型呢 Yeah. And you haven't seen what my She-Hulk hair looks like!
我很想看看呢 Oh, I would love to see it.
- 真的吗 - 嗯 - Really? - Yeah.
我不能在这里变身 I can't do it here.
好吧 Okay.
大家总是说... You know, everyone is always so...
女浩克多么了不起 Saying about how She-Hulk is amazing...
他们总是这么说 我只想今晚也很耀眼 They're always saying it. I wanted to be amazing tonight.
我... 我觉得你已经很棒了 I don't know. I... I think you're pretty great.
真的吗 You do?
真的 I do.
噢 不 Oh, no.
- 你没事吧 - 要开始了 - Are you okay? - Oh, no, it's happening.
什么... What's, what's...
吐出来 宝贝 吐出来就好了 Yeah, let it out, babe. Let it all out.
我就知道 Knew it!
当然 我都说了这事儿没完 Obviously. I literally said this isn't over.
我现在就要公开毁了你 So now I am I'm going to publicly destroy you.
噢拜托 我正大光明赢的官司 翻篇吧 Oh, come on! I won that fair and square. Get over it.
我从不翻篇 I don't get over anything.
你不变身吗 Are you not gonna turn?
我这样也能打败你 I can take you like this.
真是可悲 This is just sad.
你不变女浩克就不好玩了 快点 It's no fun unless you're She-Hulk. Come on!
你怎么对我那么感兴趣 Why are you so obsessed with me?
我可没有 虽然别人都挺感兴趣的 I am not obsessed with you. Although it seems like everyone else is.
你不能为了一个你自己都不想要的东西 You don't get to ruin everything for me
来毁了我的一切 for something you don't even want.
就为了一个你配不上的名号 Something you don't even deserve.
我必须证明这一点 赶紧变身 So now I am forced to prove it. So green up!
行吧 那我就变一次 Okay, just this one time I turn She-Hulk.
噢 我忘了怎么变身了 Oh, no, I forgot how to do it.
真是可悲 This is pathetic.
呃 给我点时间啊 Ugh! Give me a second!
有人在婚礼上打架啦 We got a wedding fight!
我的烤瓷牙啊 My veneers!
你觉得这很好笑吗 You think this is funny?
要给你社交网站上的十一个粉丝直播吗 Are you showing your 11 followers on Instagram?
你往哪逃 这个我拿走了 Where are you going? And I'm taking this!
这个婚礼太垃圾了 This wedding sucks!
噢露露 我知道我向你保证过 Oh, Lulu. I know I promised.
可她在我喝吐的时候打我 什么人啊这是 She sucker-punched me when I was throwing up. Like, who does that?
我的天呐 Oh, my God.
女浩克来参加我的婚礼了吗 She-Hulk is at my wedding?
- 是啊 - 我好爱你 我是你的粉丝 - Yeah. - I love you so much. I'm a fan.
- 哇 好大的胸 - 是的 她们很大 - Whoa! Huge boobs! - Yes, they're big.
大胸女 恭喜了 Okay, huge boobs. Congrats. Whatever.
我好爱这里的照相亭 那男的超级帅 I love the photobooth here. The guy is so hot.
我不能理解 I mean, I just don't understand
天才超级恶棍组织
那么害怕冲突的人怎么会一直要结婚呢 why anyone that afraid of conflict keeps getting married.
是啊 Oh, yeah.
真不敢相信这家伙 And I just can't believe that guy got
能跟八个人结过婚 eight different people to marry him.
洛杉矶不接受单身狗 You must not be single in Los Angeles.
我可结婚很久了 I have been married a long time.
- 你结婚啦 - 十月份就十一年了 - You're married? - Eleven years this October.
- 什么 - 我儿子生日的后一天就是结婚纪念日 - What? - The day after my son's birthday. Yeah.
等等 你生小孩了 你有孩子 Hold on. You have children? You have a child. You have a kid.
- 马洛里·布克居然有... - 别问了 - Mallory Book has... - Enough questions.
- 好吧 - 还是看这个吧 - Okay. - Let's see here.
等等 我看一下这个视频 Wait, I gotta look at this.
这是什么 女浩克... What is this? She-Hulk...
变身 什么鬼 Hulking? Wait, what the hell?
仅限会员
逗号 她好恶心 "Comma, she was so gross.
- 她都三十岁了 恶 - 我的天 - She was 30. Ew!" Okay. - Oh, God.
我就是复制粘贴了网上的黑子对我说的话 I just copied and pasted what guys have said to me on the Internet.
同意 标签 直男群体 Accepted. Hashtag, friends with bros. Okay.
这是... 这是什么 怎么杀死女浩克 This is... What? What is this? Mal, "How do we kill She-Hulk?"
太黑暗了 我们必须告诉珍 This is dark. We gotta talk to Jen.
不要 别告诉她 No, we do not. No.
你有在看吗 Are you reading this?
看了啊 但为什么要让她知道呢 Yes. Why would you wanna put that mess in her head?
但这里还有死亡威胁 But some of these are death threats.
尼基 他们只是键盘侠罢了 Nikki, they're just trolls.
这群人最想要的就是引起注意 Any attention at all gives them what they want.
珍没必要下场 让她正常生活吧 Jen is better off. Just let her live her life.
好吧 Fine.
这个网站叫 天才超级恶棍组织 It's called Intelligencia and it's all of these,
上面全是梗图和死亡威胁 like, memes and death threats.
但是马洛里让我别告诉你 Okay? But Mallory said not to tell you because
因为她不想让你难过 她说我们应该保护你 she said it would make you feel bad and we should protect you
让你正常生活 但是... and let you live your life. But...
你懂的 我忍不住的 I mean, you know, obviously, I didn't do that.
说不定也没什么大事啦 It's probably nothing.
听到这则留言记得给我回电噢 爱你 So, just give me a call when you get this and I love you so much.
- 好吃吗 - 太好吃了 - Did we hit? - Yeah, it's hit.
好的 那我也来几根 Oh, yeah. Okay. I'm gettin' in there.
小心 别伤到自己 Careful, don't hurt yourself.
不会的 就蘸点酱 I won't. Get a little dip.
女浩克