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欢迎 Welcome.
收到 Gotcha.
大卫先生 你为什么来乔治亚州 Mr. David, what brings you to Georgia?
因为我被法庭传唤 罪名是 Well, um, I'm on trial for the horrible crime of.
给了一个在排队投票的女人 giving a woman who was on line to vote...
一瓶水 a bottle of water.
哦 真是人神共愤 Oh! Oh, what a terrible thing.
真是天理难容 Oh, what a terrible crime.
真是 真是 真是 真是 真是 What...What...What...What...What...What...
给她一瓶水是多么可怕的罪行啊 What a terrible crime to give her a bottle of water.
好了 拉里 拉里 Okay, Larr- Larr.
请把这当成真正的庭审 好吗 Let's do it like we're actuallyjn the trial. Okay?
也就是说 你得保持沉默 Which means you have to stay silent
只回答问题就好 and only answer the questions,
-收到 -谢谢 Copy that. - Thank you.
拉里 乔治亚州每年有成千上万的游客 So, Larry, Georgia gets thousands of visitors a year
来这里亨受我们美丽的春天 here to experience our beautiful springs,
和我们的桃树 our peach trees. Well, what...
你最初来乔治亚州的目的是什么 What is it that brought you here to Georgia in the first place?
有人给我出场费 让我去参加这个派对 I was offered an appearance fee to show up at this party,
-他们要我表现的亲切一些 -亲切吗 and I was told to be cordial. - Cordial?
你知道吗 我这人亲合度挺高的 And you know what? I was pretty damn cordial.
我当时还问周围的人问题来着 I asked questions to people.
你儿子上钢琴课吗 "Oh, does your son take piano lessons? "
-拉里 请你 -他还在练习吗 ·Larry, just- "Does he practjce?
让他练琴可难了 It's hard to get him to practice.
小孩子就不喜欢练琴 They don't like to practice. "
拉里 请不要跑题 这些我们不关心 Larry, try to stay on topic. We don't care about the灬
-好吗 我知道 这不是 -我只是在说我有多和蔼可亲 Right? I know. It's not- - - I'm just saying how cordial I was,
我问了孩子的钢琴课 I asked about the son's piano lessons,
你还有什么问题 What else you got? Huh?
这家伙被我拿捏了 这家伙被我拿捏了 I tore him to shreds. I tore him to shreds.
好吧 我看今天就到此为止吧 Okay. I think we're done here today.
陪审团 非常感谢你们的到来 Jury, thank you so much for coming.
你们可以退场了 把这当成真正的审判来考量 Uh, you may exit and deliberate as if this was a real trial.
感谢你们的宝贵时间 We appreciate your time.
还有 请填一下调查问卷 And, uh, please fill out the questionnaires.
这将有助于我们达成裁决 It'll help us reach a verslict
你知道吗 我父亲在二战的硫磺岛打过仗 You know, my father fought in Wosld War I, Iwo Jima
虽然他不是竖旗的那几个人 He wasn't one of the ones with the flag.
可以了 谢谢你 That's fine. Thank you.
但他在背后鼓励竖旗的士兵 He was encouraging the flag holders.
-谢谢大家 谢谢 -声嘶力竭的鼓励 Thank you, everybody. Thank you. - Yelled encouragement.
冲啊 伙计们 冲上那座山 "Go, guys! Go! Up that hilll"
拉里 我们简单聊几句 Larry, let's have a little chat down here really quick.
你觉得怎么样 Huh? Well? - How do you feel that went?
坦白说 我有点担心其中一个陪审员 Frankly, I'm a little concerned about one of the jurors.
在车库里他看到我 Yeah. - In the garage, he saw me
把钥匙扔给门童 ·tossing my keys to the valet. - Uh- huh.
他可能会觉得我有点装逼 I could be perceived as a big shot.
-没人喜欢别人装逼 -没错 - Nobody likes a big shot. - That's true.
-他们不喜欢 -是的 - They don't like a big shot. - Yeah.
但是我对这次模拟审判的担心并不在此 But, uh, I wouldn't worry about this mock trial for that.
你到底从哪找来这些陪审员的 Where are you getting these jurors, anyway?
是我的助手从大楼里找来的 My assistant gathers them from the building.
-你知道我怎么想吗 -你说 You know what I think? - What's that?
我觉得你应该去 I think you ought to go in there and get
-把那个家伙弄走 -等一下 that guy out of there. - One second.
因为他会给其他人洗脑的 ...because he's gonna poison those people.
亚伯给我发了条很棒的信息 I got a great text from Abe.
那好了 所以一切都没问题了吧 Ah, great. So everything's worked out?
-是啊 一切都 -太好了 ·Yeah, everything's...- Beautiful.
一切都很顺利 Yeah, everything's been going great.
你最后给孩子取了什么名字 And what name did you wind up using for the kid?
我们还是把工作 Why don't we leave our professional
和个人生活分开吧 and personal lives separate, you know?
-好吧 -好的 Okay. Okay.
你取的名字是泽克尔曼 对吧 It was Zeckelman, wasn't it?
没错 是泽克尔曼 Yeah. Yeah, it was Zeckelman.
我就猜到了 Yeah, that's what I thought.
我之前把钥匙扔给你 你介意吗 Did you mind me tossing the keys to you earlier?
不 不 不 一点也不介意 Oh, no. No, no, not at all.
-你喜欢扔钥匙吗 -当然 You like a key toss? - Absolutely.
这是人类的本性 我们喜欢接东西 It's human nature. We like to catch.
我也是这么想的 I mean, that's what I thought, right?
我们喜欢抛硬币 人们喜欢抛来接去的 And we like to toss. People like to toss and catch.
-对吗 没错 -确实 · Right? Yeah. - Right. Yeah, yeah.
你的车在前面 Your car's actually out in the front.
要我帮你开过来吗 Do you want me to get it for you?
不用了 我很乐意自己去开 Oh, no, that won't be necessary. I'm happy to get it.
好的 给你 先生 Well, here you go, sir.
谢谢你 罗德里戈 ·Well, thank you, Rodrigo. Oh.
-这是给你的 -太谢谢你了 This is for you. - Oh, thank you so much.
-不客气 -谢谢 My pleasure. Thank you.
给你买了沙拉 但我有一种感觉 Um, you got the salad, but I have a feeling...
你会很嫉妒的 you're gonna be very jealous of this.
-嫉妒三明治吗 -没错 Of the sandwich? Yeah. - Yes. Well...
我不应该吃三明治的 I'm not supposed to be eating sandwiches.
好吧 All right.
听着 Um, listen. - Yeah?
我的背要动手术 I'm gonna have back surgery.
-背部手术吗 -背部手术 Back surgery? - Back surgery.
-真的吗 这么严重吗 -是的 Really? That bad? - Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
上背部 一直都 Upper back. Yeah, it's been
-一言难尽啊 -好的 Oh, don't even get me started. Okay.
不管怎样 我肯定要被麻醉的 Anyhow, I'm gonna have anesthesia, obviously.
我有百分之三的几率出事 所以 Three percent chance something'll happen to me. So...
苏西有我的紧急医疗授权 Susie has the power of attorney.
一切都会由她决定 She's in charge of all of it.
所以如果我发生了什么不好的事 So if something bad happens to me,
我不相信她 I don't trust her.
你是说她会 You mean she'll
-她会很快拔管子吗 -拔管子啊 she'll pull the plug too fast? - Pull the plug?
她这么做的理由可多了 谁知道呢 She could do it for any reason, Who knows?
也许去医院的半路我们吵了一架 Uh, maybe on the way there we get into a fight,
-而且极有可能 -没错 which is more than likely. - Right.
所以我想让你负责 So I want you in charge.
好吧 Well...okay.
我也不指望你来看我 And I don't expect you to visit me.
你来不来我都不知道 I wouldn't know if you're there or not.
每周来一次就好 看看我还活着没 Just come, like, once a week and take a look.
我可能一周都不会来一次 I might not even come once a week.
我可以直接打电话 I could just call up.
我还昏迷着 我他妈能知道什么 I'm unconscious. What the fuck do I know?
那你打算如何 How we gonna do this?
我们去找我的律师 签一些文件 以后就靠你了 We're gonna go to my attorney, sign some papers, you're in.
老天 Boy.
听起来很冒险 That sounds real risky.
如果她发现我们找了律师怎么办 What if she finds out we went to this attorney?
曼托和我的律师在同一栋楼办公 Mantle is in the same building as my attorney.
我的律师和这家伙在同一栋楼里吗 My lawyer's in the same building as this guy?
-确实如此 -好吧 Yes, indeed. - Yeah.
-我们就说去了曼托的办公空 ·We could say we went to mine. - We'll say we went to Mantle's.
-天啊 太完美了 -如果被她发现了 Oh, my God, it's perfect. - If she finds out,
天知道她会做出什么事来 there's no telling what she could do.
她不会发现的 Yeah, well, she's not gonna find out.
发现什么 Find out what? - Oh.
-告诉她 告诉她 -发现 发现我 Tell her, tell her, tell her. Find out Find out that I
被判有罪 was found guilty
-是模拟审判 -在我的模拟审判中 In his mock trial. - In my mock trial.
-你能相信吗 -什么 Can you believe that? What?
是的 其中一个陪审员 Yeah. One of the jurors
你能吃沙拉我很高兴 杰夫 I like you eating a salad, Jeff.
-谢谢 -非常好 Thank you. Very nice.
哧道很不错 我喜欢 It's delicious and I'm enjoying it.
-很好 真为你高兴 -其中一个模拟陪审员 Good. Good for you One of the mock jurors?
怎么着 Yeah.
看见我把车钥匙扔给门童 Saw me tossing keys to the valet,
我觉得他因此心存芥蒂 And I think he got offended by it...
-他会想 这个装逼的是谁啊 -并影响了 He thought, "Oh, who's this big shot? ”...and influenced the- -
-是啊 好像我在装逼似的 -没错 Yeah, like I was a big shot, - Yeah.
我不是什么大人物 那也不是装逼范儿 I'm not a big shot. It wasn't a big shot toss.
但是你得知道 拉里 你扔钥匙可能会伤到人 Yeah, but you know, Larry, a toss, you could hurt somebody,
-你会弄伤他们的 -会伤到人吗 you could injure them. Hurt somebody?
什么样的奇葩连钥匙都抓不住 What kind of mutant can't catch a key?
你现在最好小心些 You better be very careful right now.
我是说 这次你输掉的 I mean, that was only a mock trial
只是模拟审判 如果是真正的审判呢 that you failed. Imagine a real trial.
你想去南方吗 去蹲亚特兰大监狱吗 Wanna go to jail in Atlanta, in the South?
让你镣铐加身 They'll have you on a chain gang.
喂 Oh. Hello?
现在吗 Now?
好吧 Okay.
-好吧 我去接你 -是谁啊 - AII right, I'll pick you up. Who's that?
是刘易斯 他想买辆旧奔驰 It's Lewis. He wants to buy this old Mercedes,
而且 你知道 他在新冠流行期间 and, you know, he lost his sense of smell
-失去了嗅觉 还有 -是哦 during COVID and Oh, yeah.
而且 你知道 有时候这些旧车 And, you know, sometimes these old cars,
-有股霉味 -他想借你的鼻子 they have a musty odor to'emHe wants your nose.
-有股霉味 -他想借你的鼻子 they have a musty odor to'em. He wants your nose.
是的 他想借我的鼻子 是的 Yeah. He wants my nose. Yeah. - Yeah.
好了 我得走了 AlI right, Im gonna take off.
这个三明治你还吃吗 Hey, you gonna finish that sandwich?
给你吧 Eh. Take it,
好吧 谢谢 AlI right. Thank you.
哦 我买了块冯德登克奶酪 Oh, I got this Vonderdonk cheese.
我不想让它一直在车里放着 Yeah? - I clon't want it sitting in the car.
介意我把它放在你家冰箱里吗 Do you mind if I keep it in your fridge?
没关系 去放吧 No. Go ahead. Huh?
把它放在奶酪保鲜层里 Put it in the cheese drawer.
好吧 我晚点或明天来取 Okay. I'll pick it up later or tomorrow.
都行吧 Yeah, whatever.
好吧 再见 AlI right, see ya.
他给我发了几张车的照片 He sent me a couple of pictures of the car,
真是太 · and it's just so...Uh- huh.
太经典了 太美了 伙计 It's such a classic and it's so beautiful, man.
真是难得一见 Wow. - This is a rare gem.
你就喜欢老奔驰 You like the old Mercedes.
我不知道它到底是什么味道 I don't know how it's gonna really smell,
所以 你今天就当我的鼻子 ·so, you know, you're my nose today. Ah.
我的鼻子也不太好 My nose isn't so great.
恶心的东西我能闻到 Disgusting things I can smell very well.
-尿啊 汽油啊 这些 -我不知道 Urine, BO, you know. - I don't know. I mean, I...
我在两个街区外都能闻到尿味 Urine, I can smell from two blocks away,
但是哪怕你把一朵花塞进我的鼻子 but you shove a flower up my nose,
我都都闻不到 it does nothing for me. Hey, um...
你是柯南的朋友 对吧 you're friends with Conan, right?
是啊 很久的朋友了 Yeah, for a long time.
因为我在我家附近见过他 Cause I saw him in my neighborhood.
是啊 他搬进了那栋西班牙风格的房子 Yeah, well, he moved into that Spanish- looking house,
就在环线公路边上 uh, up on the Circle.
我想过去跟他聊点事儿 You know, I wanted to go up and say something to him,
但我不想让他觉得我是个疯子 所以 but I didn't want him to think I was, you know, a nut, so...
-你需要有人引荐 -我需要引荐 You need clearance. - I need clearance.
在你和他说话前需要有人引荐一下 You need clearance before you talk to him. - Yeah.
-不然的话 我的天啊 -好吧 · Otherwise, you know, my God. - Right. Yeah.
你能帮我引荐一下吗 Could you get me clearance?
-我可以帮你拿到柯南许可 -你会帮我拿到柯南许可哈 - I can get you Conan clearance. - You'll get me Conan clearance?
-我会帮你获得柯南许可 -好的 I'll get you Conan clearance. - All right.
太好了 谢谢 Great. Thank you.
没错肥 您瞧好了 Right? Imean, come on,
-简直完美 1973款 -太美了 It's mint condition. 1973 It's a beauty,
-我真是开了眼了 -上面一点划痕都没有 I've never seen anything like it, There's not a scratch on it.
-真了不起 -对吗 It's really something. Right?
你在里面感觉怎么样 How you feeling in there?
-真漂亮 -没错吧 Oh, this is a beauty Right?
真的很漂亮 是吧 拉里 This is really gorgeous, huh, Larry? - Uh- huh.
看他开这辆车多帅啊 Look how good he looks in this car.
你别太沉不住气了 Yeah, don't be too enthusiastic.
-他会趁机加价的 -不 不 不 He'll boost the price on you. - No. No, no.
我猜这是真的 你觉得他会坐地起价吗 I bet that's true. You think he's a booster?
-他可能会哦 -我想也是 He could be a booster. I think so.
是啊 他可能会坐地起价 Yeah, he might be a booster.
-但它太美了 -我也不想卖了这辆车 But it is beautiful. - I do not wanna let this car go.
可我碰上这倒霉的离婚官司 If I wasn't gomg through this goddamn divorce...
她别想把车据为己有 Oh. She's not getting the car.
你觉得呢 拉里 What do you think, LD, huh?
你感觉如何 你开起来棒极了 How's it feel? You look great in it.
-他开这车不是很棒吗 -是的 Doesn't he look great in that? - Yeah.
车里的部件都是原厂的 It's got all the original parts.
我要 我要 我要去坐进去看看 Oh, I'm gonna...Imgonna...Im gonna go sit in it.
好啊 你自己试试 Yeah, yeah. Try it out yourself.
好吧 我也不王婆卖瓜了 AlI right, Ill stop boosting.
来吧 你怎么花了这么长时间 Come on. What took you so long?
-你还说我呢 -是啊 我给你点头暗示都快把脑子摇出来了 What took me so long? Yeah, Im nodding my brains out.
-你还说我呢 -是啊 我给你点头暗示都快把脑子摇出来了 - What took me so long? - Yeah, I'm nodding my brains out.
不 你这个暗示有什么卵用 No, cause your head nod isn't any good.
我都不知道你是什么意思 I didn't know what you were doing.
-你说没卵用是什么意思 -你暗示的就不对 What do you mean it's not any good? - You don't have a good head nod.
暗示应该是这样 A head nod, you're supposed to go like this.
我就是这样啊 Huh. Huh. - Yeah, I did. I went- -
不 不 你不是这样的 你是这样的 像这样 No, no, you didn't do that. You went like this. Like that.
-还得挑眉毛吗 -当然得用 And you use your eyes too? - You use your eyes, yeah.
-这就对了 -你怎么现在才告诉我 There you go. There you go. - How come now you tell me?
我看你得好好锻炼一下暗示的技巧了 Just saying you need to work on your head nod.
好吧 那你觉得这辆车怎么样 伙计 我很喜欢 AII right, so what do you think of the car, man? I love it.
怎么了 What's wrong?
有一股味道 There's a smell.
闻起来像烟草 It smells like tobacco.
-真的吗 -是的 就像 It does? - Yeah, like...
某人在这辆车里抽了很多切斯特菲尔德香烟 somebody smoked a lot of Chesterfields in this car.
你觉得呢 很棒吧 What do you think? It's great, right?
你喜欢吗 都是古董啊 You loving it? Huh? It's all vintage.
你觉得我该怎么做呢 So, what do you think I should do?
你不能付全价 You can't pay full price.
那我就去找他要个折扣 Then I'm gonna ask him for a discount.
-气味折扣 -没错 A smell discount. - Yeah. Good.
-怎么了 伙计们 可以成交吗 -听着 老哥 What's up, guys? We got a deal? - Hey, listen, man.
-怎么了 伙计们 可以成交吗 -听着 老哥 What's up, guys? Wegotadeal? - Hey, listen, man.
我想我不会买这辆车的 Idon't thinkIm gonna buy the car,
我想我不会买这辆车的 I don't think I'm gonna buy the car.
为什么呢 怎么啦 Why not? What?
-你在说什么 -他说车里有味儿 What are you talking about? He told me it smells in here.
你在 怎么回事 What are you- What happened?
你知道 他带我来 You know, he, um...he brought me along
是因为他的新冠后遗症 所以他闻不到味道 cause he's got long COVID and he can't smell,
你也知道 旧车嘛 and you know, old cars,
偶尔会有霉味 they occasionally have a musty smell,
-而且 你知道 -这是好的霉味啊 and, you know- - This has a good musty smell.
有好的霉味 也有不好的霉味 There's good old musty and there's bad old musty,
-这是又臭又不好的味道 -好吧 and this is bad old musty. - Right.
不 这就是旧车的味道 是好味道 No, this is an old car smell. It's good.
-对不起 你懂的 -我才不信呢 老哥 - I'm sorry, you know. - I don't buy that, man.
我很抱歉 我在里面闻到烟味了 I'm sorry. I smell tobacco in there.
等等 如果你都闻不到 那你还在乎什么 Wait, if you can't smell, what do you care?
这是你的车 这不是他的车 It's your car. It's not his car.
好吧 我确实闻不到 但也确实有味道 Okay, I can't smell it, but if there's a smell,
对所有和我坐车的人来说 then it's gonna be a bad thing for anyone
都是个不好的事 who drives in the car with me.
去买一个那种 挂着的松本棍之类的东西 Get one of those, you know, pine, uh, things that- -
别扯什么松本棍了 大爷我要买这辆车 Forget the pine thing. I'll buy the car,
但我想要3000美元的气味折扣 but I want a 3, 000- dollar smell discount.
你知道我闻到了什么吗 我闻到了骗局的味道 你跑过来说 You know what I smell? I smell a scam. You come here.
-哦 他没有嗅觉 -太荒谬了 "Oh, he can't smell..."- That's ridiculous.
但我要告诉他 "...but I'm gonna tell him,
是的 闻起来有烟味 'Oh, yeah, smells like cigarettes. '
不如你要个3000块的折扣啊 Why don't you knock off 3, 000? "
-别这样 太荒唐了 -我不这么想 Come- That's ridiculous. - I don't think so
-没什么骗局 -我不这么想 There's no scam. - I don't think so,
-这不是提前商量好的 相信我 -得了吧 - It wasn't planned, believe me. Oh, come on,
车钱我不会便宜3000块的 I'm not taking 3, 000 dollars off this car.
不 我给的价格就很公道 No. I offered a fair price,
如果你接受不了这个价格 那就算了吧 and if you don't want the car for that price, then forget it.
好吧 Okay?
-还想要吗 -不 我不想要了 Want it? - No, I don't.
-行了 -难以置信 AII right. - Unbelievable.
这糟心的一天 靠 What a shit day this has been, man.
谢你八辈祖宗啊 拉里 Yeah. - Thanks a lot, Larry.
还可能会更糟心 你还可能戴结肠瘘袋呢 Hey, things could be worse. You could have a colostomy bag.
跟那辆车吻别吧 Kiss that car goodbye, huh?
你知道迪卡洛可能有结肠瘘袋吗 Hey, do you know if DiCarlo has a colostomy bag?
什么 你抽什么风 这问的什么 What? What are you smoking? What kind of question is that?
我只是讲了个冷笑话 Yeah, because I made a bad joke,
但我好像戳到他痛处了 and I think I. I think I struck a nerve.
我去问问杰夫 也许他会帮我查出来 I'lI ask Jeff. Maybe he'll find out for me.
是啊 我都等不及要听到答案了 Yeah, I can't wait to hear the answer.
希望我们不会碰到曼托 I hope we don't run into Mantle.
没事的 We'll be fine.
你们好 先生们 Yeah. - Hello, gentlemen.
下午好 你们好吗 Good afternoon. How are we doing?
你先去电梯那儿等我 Uh, I'll meet you by the elevator.
-好吧 -大卫先生 你好吗 AII right. - Mr. David. How are you?
-很好 -很高兴见到你 Good. Ah! - Good to see you.
-那么 -谢谢 So...- Thank you.
-好吧 -怎么了 Okay. - Yes?
-你也是个门童 -是的 我是 Oh, you'rea valet. - Yes, I am.
你看到我把钥匙扔给罗德里戈 You didn't like it when you saw me
你心里不大舒服是吗 toss the keys to Rodrigo, did you?
我不想谈这个 我还在工作呢 I don't wanna get into this. I'm trying to work.
那个时候 我看到你瞟了我一眼 I saw you look askance, though, when you saw it.
好吧 我觉得那是种装逼行为 Okay, I thought it was kind of a big shot move.
罗德里戈喜欢接东西 Rodrigo likes to catch.
我深表怀疑 这种行为存在安全隐患 I doubt that. It's a safety hazard.
你可能打到他的眼睛 You could've You could've hit his eye.
你有没有影响其他陪审员对我不利 Did you influence the other jurors against me? Huh?
门童界只有两种人 先生 There are two people in the valet world, sir.
递到手里的和扔钥匙的 而你是个喜欢扔的 Handers and tossers. And you're a tosser.
好吧 维克多 我半小时后回来 Okay, Victor, I'll be back in half an hour.
我得去签一些文件 I gotta go sign some papers
好决定我朋友什么时候死 so I can kill my friend whenever I want to.
等我回来的时候 And when I come back,
如果你能把钥匙扔给我 我会很感激的 I'd appreciate it if you'd toss me my keys,
我还会为你递上小费 and I'll hand you your tip.
太好了 我会保管好的 Great, I'll keep it close.
请在这里签名 先生 If you'll just sign right there, sir.
-这里吗 -是的 · Right there? - Yes.
-我真的很喜欢这支笔 -谢谢 - I really like this pen. Thank you.
-这是一支很棒的钢笔 -确实 This is a fantastic pen. - It...It is.
不 但是我 我真的很喜欢 No, but I I really like it.
这支笔 用来签名真的不错 These pens are- - They sign really nicely.
请你在这里再签一个字 If you'll just place one more signature right there.
这真是一支很棒的笔 那么在哪里可以买到呢 I mean, it'sagreat pen, Where do I get a pen like this?
我觉得在任何一家大百货公司都能买到 I'm sure you can get that at any major department store.
你肯定有很多这样的笔 是吗 You must have a lot of em though, no?
是的 我们确实有很多 Yeah, we do have a lot.
-好吧 -恭喜你 Hmm. Okay. So congratulations,
你现在有医疗授权了 you now have medical power of attorney,
那可是拔管子的权力 that is the power to pull the plug.
哦 你死定了 Oh! You're a dead man.
-把管子拔了 -快拔 ·Pull that plugl- Pull it!
拔了他的管子 护士 Pull that plug, nurse!
好吧 请把笔还给我 Okay, if I may just have that pen back,
-当然 -谢谢 行了 Yeah, sure. - Thank you. All righty.
我们会尽快把复印件寄给你 Well, we'll have the copy sent to you very soon.
-好的 -谢谢 保重 Okay. - Thank you. Take care.
我都这么说了他居然还是没把那支笔送我 Could you believe he didn't give me that pen?
-我很震惊 -太不可思议了 - I was shocked That was unbelievable.
我说我喜欢 他居然无动于衷 He resisted the"I like it"gambit.
没错 Yeah. Oh.
迪卡洛几个月前做了胃部手术 Oh! DiCarlo had stomach surgery a few months ago.
他确实戴着结肠瘘袋 He's got a bag. He's got the bag.
难以置信 我不知道 Unbelievable. I...I don't know.
我真不知道 我现在该怎么办 I don't know. What am I gonna do now?
-我该怎么办 -说实话 我也不知道了 - What do I do? - Truly, I have no idea.
我能为这家伙做些什么 我能给他买个新瘘袋吗 What can I do for this guy? Can I buy him a new bag?
那种非常贵的结肠瘘袋 Like a really expensive colostomy- -
比如LV牌的结肠瘘袋 Like a Louis Vuitton colostomy bag?
-有卖这种东西吗 -他们做这种东西吗 Do they sell those? - Do they make those?
-我不知道 -哪里有卖的吗 - I don't know. - Do they make those?
你觉得我的拉链这样弄怎么样 What do you thik of my zipper like this?
你喜欢这个造型吗 Do you like this look?
-看起来太可笑了 -我还挺喜欢的 That's ridiculous looking. I kind of like it.
-我一点也不喜欢 -看 这是两个拉链 - I don't like it at all. - Look, it's two zippers.
-你看到了吧 -不 不 把下面拉链的拉下来 You see? - No, no, but keep the one down
上面的拉链你随意搞 and play with the top one. - Yeah.
你们去哪儿了 Where you guys been? - Um...
我们去了曼托的办公室 We went to, uh, Mantle's office.
-我们去了曼托的办公室 -你的律师 We went to Mantle's office. The lawyer. Yeah.
-是的 是的 -没错 你知道 Yeah. Yeah. - Yeah, well, you know.
-我们去了曼托的办公室 -去签几个文件 We went to Mantle's. - Some stuff to sign.
没什么事吧 So, everything go okay there?
-当然 就签了点文件之类 -是的 顺便说一下 Yeah, yeah, you know, signed some stuff, and...- Yeah. Yeah. And by the way,
一切都好是因为在他需要我的时候 it went okay 'cause I was there for a few moments
-我陪伴了他 -你真是英雄啊 是吧 杰夫里 that he needed me. - Oh, you saved the day, Jeffrey, didn't you?
这跟他的事业没关系 This has nothing to do with his career.
你是他经纪人 You're his manager.
-但是 -对 但是我重视他的意见 However- Yeah, but I value his opinion.
-是嘛 -对 Really? - Yeah.
-至少还有人重视 -你们俩可真是 At least somebody does. You two are something.
好基友啊 难舍难分 You're Frick and Frack, attached at the hip.
弗里克和弗莱克 滑冰组合 Frick and Frack, the ice skating team...
-对 -30年代的 yes! - ...from the 30s.
很多人都不知道 A lot of people don't know that.
-瑞典的 -瑞士的 Swedish. - I think they're Swiss.
-对 瑞士 -不是吧 这俩不是一个地儿吗 Oh, yeah, Swiss. - What, is there a difference?
所以你还需要这种人哈 他连瑞典和瑞士 So, you need him? He doesn't know the difference
-不是一回事都不知道 -他当然知道 between Sweden and Switzerland. He knows the difference.
只是一时糊涂了 He got confused.
-行吧 -我去尿个 AlI right. I gotta pee.
-好好尿 -好吧 弗里克 Enjoy yourself. Okay, Frick, Yeah
你低估了他的智商 知道不 You underestimate his intelligence, you know?
他其实比你想的要聪明些 But he's a little smarter than you give him credit for.
我觉得他挺聪明啊 我没说他傻 I think he's smart Idon't think he's dumb.
不是 别太抬举他了 No, let's not go overboard.
他只是比你想的要聪明 He's smarter than you think he is.
但他算不上是聪明人 He's not really smart though, you know.
我又没说他是天才 Ah, he's no genius.
-你找什么呢 -找奶酪 What are you looking for? - I'm looking for the cheese.
没了 Oh, it's gone.
-什么 -我吃了 What? - I ate it.
-你把冯德登克吃了 -对啊 You ate the Vonderdonk? Yeah.
什么叫你吃了啊 What do you mean? Why'd you eat it?
-那又不是你的奶酪 -因为好吃啊 - It's not your cheese. Because it's delicious.
可那不是你的 是我的 It's not your cheesel It's my cheese.
你放这都一天了 Well, you left it here for a day.
我只是暂时放这 I left it here to pick up.
我都跟你说了 我今天晚点或者明天就来取 I told you I was gonna pick it up later or tomorrow.
-现在就是明天 -它放在了我的冰箱里 ·This is tomorrow. - It was in my refrigerator,
而且诉讼中一向是占有为王 and I believe possession is nine- tenths of the law.
那剩下的10%呢 What's the other tenth?
-搞你朋友吃掉他们的奶酪吗 -对啊 Fucking over your friends and eating their cheese? - Yeah, yeah, I just- -
这是剩下10%的法律规定的吗 Is that the other tenth of the law, huh?
-也许 -那我问你个问题 Maybe. Let me ask you a question.
如果我在你沙发上打了个盹 If I took a nap on your couch,
你会翻我的兜吗 把我当洒鬼一样翻个身再翻另一边 could you go through my pockets and roll me over like a drunk?
就这么点屁事你至于哔哔这么多吗 You make such a big megillah over nothing.
这可不是屁事 我大老远跑到贝弗利山 It's not over nothing. I went all the way to Beverly Hills
买的奶酪 to pick up that cheesel
杰夫 他在抱怨被吃掉的冯德登克奶酪呢 Oh, Jeff, he's complaining that the Vonderdonk is gone.
-挺好吃 -嗯 Good cheese. - Yeah.
-你也吃了吗 -三明治里夹的 You had it too? - Uh, it was in a sandwich.
融化的 我给他烤的 Yeah, a melt. I made him a melt.
你们算什么人啊 Who are you people?
我觉得你该走了 You know, I think it's time for you to leave.
行吧 我觉得你说的对 Yeah, you know what? I think you're right.
你说的对 行 好 I think you're right. Oh, yes. Yeah.
-你要拿走我的石榴汁吗 -对 我拿了 You're taking my pomegranate juice? - Yeah. I'm taking it.
我拿了 是我的了 I'm taking it. It's mine.
我拿了石榴汁 我占有了 I got the pomegranate juice, and I'm possessing it!
这特么是法律规定的 It's nine- tenths of the fucking law!
嘿 柯南 Oh! Hey Conan!
嘿 拉里·大卫 Hey. Uh, Larry David.
我知道 拉里 嗯嗯 I know, Larry. Yeah. Yeah. - Uh...
刘易斯跟你说了吗 Did Lewis, uh, talk to you?
-不 刘易斯没跟我说 -什么 No, Ididn't hear from Lewis. - What? Well...
-我 我没 他从没跟我说过 所以 -难以置信 I...I didn't...Never heard from ewis, so Unbelievable.
我还特意跟他说 I specifically called him up
问他能不能给我引荐一下 and asked if he could get me clearance.
他没打给我 所以 He didn't call me, so...
严格来讲 这次对话不在我预期之内 technically, this is a uncleared conversation.
-有点像被突袭了 -我不知道说什么好 It's like an ambush. - I don't know what to say.
-真是太尴尬了 -是吧 I'm very embarrassed. - Yeah.
坦白说 我都有点羞愧难当了 I'm a little mortified, frankly.
如果刘易斯没有提前引荐 Why would you go up to someone
那你为什么直接走上来跟我说话呢 if you hadn't gotten the okay from Lewis?
因为我以为刘易斯 Because I just assumed that Lewis
-已经给你引荐过了 -这种事你不能瞎以为 was gonna get the clearance You don't assume stuff like that.
我以为那艘船 "Oh, I assume this boat
给所有人都准备了救生设备呢 has plenty of life preservers for everyone.
哦不 这是泰坦尼克号啊 没有准备 Oh, no, it's the Titanic, it doesn't. "
如果他提前做了引荐我们俩聊起来 This will go a lot better once I get some clearance,
就顺畅多了 I think. Well-
你能考虑下许可的事吗 Will you think about the clearance?
行 我会考虑的 Sure. Yeah, I'll think about it.
你不会真考虑的 Ah. You're not gonna think about it.
就是搪塞别人的套话 That's just something people say...
就是他们想拒绝别人 You know. ...when they wanna say no,
还想给那人一个台阶下时说的话 and they let the person down a little easier.
-是这样 -他们说会考虑一下 - It's true. They say they're gonna think about it.
我不知道自己都说过多少次 I don't know how many times I say,
行 我会考虑一下的 但其实 "Yeah, I'll think about it, "and I just wanna get out
我就是想尽快摆脱现在的局面 of that situation with the person, yeah.
你连一秒钟都不会花在这上面的 But you won't spend one second thinking about it.
对 那瞬间一过 我就再也想不起来这事了 Yeah, no, The minute I'm gone, I'll never think about it again.
-绝对的 绝对的 -你这观察可真厉害 Totally, totally. - That's a great observation.
-你看哈 如果我有人引荐 -嗯 You see, if I had clearance...- Yeah.
你就可以一直 ...these are the kind of observations
听我聊这种话了 you'd be hearing all the time.
你还是得先跟刘易斯说 好吗 You should talk to Lewis. All right?
-好 -没事了吧 Yeah, yeah. - We good?
行 你养的这是 Yeah. Well, look, you got one of those, uh,
-消防犬啊 -他从没去过消防站 firehouse dogs, huh? - He's never been in a firehouse.
-这就是成见 -对狗子还能有成见呢 It'sastereotype. - Can you stereotype a dog?
对 对狗也可能产生成见 哦 是金毛啊 Yes, you can stereotype a dog. "Oh, that's a golden.
他一定是特别温和的狗子 He must be a really friendly dog"
哦 是斑点狗啊 他一定在消防站干过 "Oh, there's a Dalmatian. He must live in a firehouse.
他是消防犬 He goes to fires. "
这正是我想避免的谈话 This is the kind of conversation I'm trying to avoid.
这个规矩自从1932 33年开始就有 There's a reason this protocol's been around
是有原因的 since early sound days, 1932, 33.
我读过一篇文章 说有人在未经许可的情况下 I read an article about somebody approaching Fatty Arbuckle
接触大胖阿巴克尔 without clearance,
大胖阿巴克尔拿一啤酒瓶子砸他脑袋上了 and Fatty Arbuckle just broke a beer bottle over his head.
行吧 我都很久没听认拿大胖阿巴克尔说事儿了 Yeah, it's been a while since I've heard a Fatty Arbuckle reference.
怎么着 你是来自玛格丽特·杜蒙之家吗 What, did you just come from Margaret Dumont's house?
-好吧 -刘易斯 Okay. Lewis.
刘易斯 我以为他已经引荐过了 我 Lewis. I thought I had the clearance. I'll- -
我们有规矩的 我们有规矩是有原因的 There's a system, and we have a system for a reason.
-我就按规矩来 -好 I'll go through the system. - Yeah. Okay.
-给刘易斯打电话 -好 Call Lewis Yeah
总之吧 我想为我前几天 You know, anyway tjust wannaapologjze
说的话道歉 for the other day and what I said,
那话就脱口而出 我也没多想 and things just fly out of my mouth without thinking.
我这辈子都这样口无遮拦的 I've done it my whole life.
你说过很多蠢话 拉里 You say a lot of stupid things, Larry.
-不是所有玩笑都管用哈 -对我来说那不是笑话 -Not all jokes work. - Not a joke to me.
我最近经历了很多 过的很艰难 I've been going through some rough times lately.
你知道我那婚离的挺操蛋的 You know, you know about my fucking divorce.
-是 -然后我名下的所有剧院 Yeah. - And all the theaters I owned,
-经营都不景气 -是 they're going under. I mean- Yeah.
没人愿意再来剧院看戏了 Nobody's coming back to the theaters.
是挺糟糕的 It's terrible, yeah.
然后健康又出了问题 我 And then health issues, and I'm
我说不好 就感觉 I don't know, I'm just...
我都命悬一线了 就这么说吧 I'm hanging on by a thread, is what I'm saying.
-然后 -好吧 这样 ·And then- - - Okay, you know what?
这样行不 这辆车我买了 You know what? I'm gonna buy the car.
我买 我买下这车 I'm gonna buy it. I'm buying the car.
-拉里 你不想买这车的 -不 ·Larry, you don't want this car. - No.
-我想买 -不至于的 - I want the car. - Come on.
-我想买 -你想买吗 - I'm gonna buy the car. - You wanna buy this car?
我买了 对 我买 I'm gonna buy it. Yeah. I'm buying the car.
按照我给理查德的价格吗 At the price that I gave to Richard?
-全价买 -行 行 ·The full price? - Yeah, yeah.
-行吗 -全价 - Yeah? - Yeah, the full price.
就是 You know.
我开着里面都是味儿的车四处溜达 So I drive around, there's an odor in the car.
跟你的经历比 不值一提 That's nothing compared to what you're going through.
我知道你什么意思 就味儿呗 I know what you're talking about, the smell,
但这味儿你慢慢就习惯了 but it's a smell that you learn to live with.
是 如果你能习惯 Yeah, well, if you can learn to live with
你现在经历的 我也 what you're living with, uh, you know, I could.
我也能习惯那味儿 对吧 I could live with that, you know?
是啊 我们都要背负很多 Yeah, well, we all got a lot of baggage.
是 Yeah,
好了 嘿 给你钥匙 AII right. Hey! Here is your key.
车钱你可以微信转账给我 You can Venmo me the money, all right?
你开走吧 上车吧 You can drive it out of here. Get right in.
-你一定会喜欢的 -好吧 You're gonna love it, - Okay.
嘿 你能帮我个忙吗 Uh...hey, could you do me a favor
开着我的车跟我回冢 回来我给你出打车钱 and follow me home in my car, and I'll pay for your Uber back?
你不想这样 Id rather not,
有意思了 好吧 Interesting. Okay.
行吧 你不想 Yeah. Okay. You'd rather not.
你不想哈 那我再回来一趟取车吧 You'd rather not. I'll come back and pick it up.
-好主意 -好吧 That's a good idea Okay.
没问题吧 AII good?
-嗯嗯 -好 Yeah, yeah. - Good.
看见红灯时 脚放在油门上就行 When you're at a red light, just keep your foot on the gas.
哦对了 那安全带 Oh, and that seat belt.
你得修一下 Yeah, you're gonna have to get that fixed.
-这违法啊 -1973年时不违 - It's against the law. - Not in 1973.
-就是这个 -好嘞 -Yeah. This is it. - All right.
-就喜欢这冯德登克 -好东西 -Love that Vonderdonk. Oh, good stuff.
看看这车前盖 太有范儿了 Look at the front. Very presidential.
看看啊 看看这引擎格栅 Look at that. Look at that grill.
来 坐上 Go ahead. Sit in it.
让我体会下 Let me see how it feels.
好了 这车一看就是上等人开的 Okay. This is a White man car right here,
我跟你说吧 I'll tell you that much.
你从谁那买的 花生先生吗 Who'd you get it from, Mr. Peanut?
那个戴着单片眼镜和大礼帽的王八贵吗 The motherfucker with the monocle and a top hat?
你说的对啊 You're right though
确实有股奇怪的味儿 There is a fucking funky smell in here.
确实有股奇怪的味儿 There is a fycking funky smellin here
是吧 Right?
就好像有人在这车里抽了多少年的烟似的 Like someone's been smoking for years in this bitch.
-对 就像 -我知道 Yeah, it's like...- Yeah, I know.
我闻到的就是这个味儿 That's all I smell.
-过来 -这下完了 Come over here. - Oh, great.
玛丽莲·梦露在这样的车里上过肯尼迪吗 Hey, did Marilyn Monroe fuck JFK in a car like this?
-过来 你个混蛋 -什么 Come here, you bastard. - What?
-你这个狗娘养的 -什么 好吧 我可以 You son of a bitch. - What? Okay. Can I- -
-你这个狗娘养的 那是我的车 -听我解释 You son of a bitch. That's my car. - Can- - Let me explain.
-那是我的车 -听我解释 好吗 - That's my car. - Let me explain, okay?
这家伙其实真的戴了个结肠瘘袋 The guy actually has a colostomy bag,
-我感觉很糟糕 -拉倒吧你 and I felt terrible. - Oh. Come on. Please.
我感到非常内疚和自责 所以不得不买了这辆车 I felt so guilty and awful, I had to buy the car.
我要拿回我的车 这个狗屁故事 I'm getting my car back. This horse shit story is-
这对我来说啥也不是 It means nothing to me.
-是不是真的都难说 -我问你个问题 ∫don't know if it's even true. - Let me ask you this question.
为什么你没向柯南引荐我 Why didn't I get clearance for Conan?
我的柯南许可在哪里 Where was my Conan clearance?
我以为你跟他谈过了 可根本就没有 I thought you talked to him. I had no clearance.
你把我像个白痴一样扔在那儿 You left me hanging there like an idiot.
我只想要那辆车 你欠我的 I just want that car. You owe it to me.
你想买这辆车吗 你可以把车从我这儿买走 You wanna buy the car? You can buy the car back off me.
没错 但是等一下 虽然我想要这辆车 Yeah, but hold on a second, I want the car,
但我也想要3000美元的气味折扣 but I want 3, 000- dollar smell discount.
我付了全价 我没有什么气味折扣 I paid full price. I didn't get a smell discount.
我是说 车里还是有股烟味 I mean, there's still an odor in the car,
不是吗 大卫先生 isn't there, Mr. David?
你永远也闻不到 你有新冠后遗症 You're never gonna smell it. You got long COVID.
你没有嗅觉 也没有味觉 You're not smelling, you're not tasting.
但我在这些方面的情况都有所好转 But Tm making improvements in all those areas.
-你的嗅觉在恢复吗 -是的 我可能要去做手术 - You'll improve your smell? - Yeah, I might get surgery.
-你的嗅觉在恢复吗 -是的 我可能要去做手术 Yoy'llimprove your smell? - Yeah, I might get surgery.
没人因为嗅觉做手术 You can't get surgery for smell.
-谁说的 -有嗅觉手术这种东西吗 Yes, you can. - They got smell surgery?
有一家嗅觉诊所 但在瑞士 There's a smell clinic, but it's in Switzerland.
我还不确定是否要去 但重点是 lm not sure if I'm gonna go. But the point is,
我想要30O0美元的折扣 I want the 3, 000- dollar discount,
我还想要我的车 仅此而已了 and I want my car, and that's the end of it.
好吧 但你得开车送我去迪卡洛家取车 Okay, fine, but you gotta drive me to DiCarlo's house to pick up my car.
好吧 我们马上就要坐上 Okay, we're gonna go in my little new beauty
我的新爱车了 好吗 宝贝 over there, okay, babe?
-你叫我宝贝吗 -我叫你宝贝了 ·Did you babe me? - I babed you.
不准叫我宝贝 Don't babe me.
在任何情况下都不要叫我宝贝 Do not, under any circumstances, babe me ever, ever.
你以为我想吗 只是说漏嘴了 You think I feel good about it? It slipped out.
钱我微信转给你 I'll Venmo you the money.
嘿 我想用一下充电桩 Hey, I'm just gonna use the charging station.
好 没问题 Yeah, you're good.
-你好吗 -还扔吗 How you doing? - Toss?
-行啊 来吧 -我可不是装逼哈 - Yeah, come on. - I don't wanna be a big shot.
你没装啊 来吧 扔 You're not a big shot. Come on, toss it.
-好了 -太棒了 给你 AII right. - Awesome. There we go.
-好玩对吧 -好玩着呢 ·Fun, right? - It's fun!
-当然 -扔就是不尊重人 Of course! - He's a tosser.
好了 拉里 AII right, so, Larry,
我正在看陪审团反馈的问卷 I'm going through these jury questionnaires,
然后 他们说你 不够亲切 and, uh, they keep saying, "Less than cordial. "
他们反复提到 令人反感 这个词 Um, the word"repugnant"keeps coming up.
还有人说你暴躁 小肚鸡肠 Here's one that says you're"surly, ""petty"
还有人说你暴躁 小肚鸡肠 Here's one that says you're"surly, ""petty. "
我想我们也许应该 I think we have to maybe,
-我们还需要改进 -是的 我也是这么想的 - We have stuff to work on Yeah, that's what I m thinking,
我跟你提起过的那个陪审员维克 I told you that juror, Vic,
不喜欢扔钥匙的那个 didn't like the key toss.
-我跟你说过的 -对 对 - I told you that? - Yeah, yeah.
他可能把所有陪审员的都洗脑了 He could've influenced all those jurors.
我不知道谁有本事 I don't know that one person like that
能把所有陪审员都洗脑了 can influence all the other jurors.
-你看过《12怒汉》吗 -是的 You ever see 12 Angry Men? - Yeah.
这不就有了吗 亨利·方达 他影响了整个陪审团 Well, one person, Henry Fonda, influenced the whole jury.
首先 这并不是《12怒汉》 First of all, this isn't 12 Angry Men.
只有一个怒汉 就坐在我对面 There's one angry man. He's sitting across from me.
那个门童 他不喜欢接东西 That valet, he didn't like a catch,
说真的 我压根不明白 which I don't understand, frankly.
每个人都喜欢接东西 Everybody loves a catch.
-我喜欢接东西是因为有趣 -当然 - I like a catch if it's fun. - Of course.
接东西本身就很有趣啊 A catch- - - Catching is fun.
我知道 但出了意外就不有趣了 I know, but not if it's a surprise!
-可能会打到我的脸 -那不算是意外 - It could hit me in the facel- It wasn't a surprise catch!
那是工作的一部分 That's part of the job!
你是门童 别人扔 你接 你扔 别人接 You're a valet, you toss, you catch, you toss!
不 门童的工作就是保管钥匙 No, the part of the job of being a valet is taking keys,
不是整天的被人扔钥匙 not having keys thrown at you all day long.
看 拉里 你看不出这里的规律吗 Look, Larry, can't you see that there's a pattern here?
你待人接物的方式有问题 You're rubbing people the wrong way.
你看不出来吗 比如苏西 Don't you see that? Susie, for example,
她刚跟我说了奶酪的事 just told me the thing about the cheese.
你把奶酪落在她那儿了 她把奶酪吃了 You left cheese there and you're upset
结果你发脾气了 这是怎么回事 that she ate it? What is that about?
-你自己不是说了吗 -我知道 但是 You just said it. - I know, but- -
我把奶酪落在她家里了 I left cheese in her house.
-为什么 -顺便说一下 是冯德登克奶酪 ·Why Vonderdonk cheese, by the way.
-好吧 -结果她把奶酪吃了 Yeah. - And she ate it.
占有者通常在诉讼中占上风 Possession is nine- tenths of the law.
如果你把它留在那里 那就是她的 If you leave it there, it's hers.
占有权 这是我听过最蠢的事了 占有权 Oh, possession! That's the dumbest thing I ever heard, possession.
-为什么 为什么 -这到底是几个意思 Why? Why? - What does that even mean?
她拿走了我的奶酪 这才是关键 She took my fucking cheese. That's what means something.
是你把它留在那的啊 所以现在它是苏西的奶酪 But you left it there, so now it's Susie's cheese.
真不敢相信你居然 I can't believe that you're defending
为偷奶酪的贼辩护 the cheese eater.
你对钥匙和奶酪的态度都有问题 You have an issue with keys and cheese.
你知道我对还有什么问题吗 You know what else I have an issue with?
-什么 -就是你 - What's that? - You.
我要的是一个在奶酪纠纷中 I want a lawyer who sides with me
-站在我这边的律师 -我不是来为奶酪辩护的 in the cheese dispute. I'm nσt here to defend cheese.
我是来为一个宪法问题辩护的 I'm here to defend a constitutional issue.
我要找个站我的律师 I'm gonna find me a lawyer who's gonna take my cheese side.
-嘿 -干嘛 -Hey. - Yeah?
接住 Catch.
泽格·泽克尔曼 还不算太慢 Ziggy Zeckelman! Not too latel
-你出来了 嘿 -嘿 Oh, there he is. Hey. - Hey.
-好玩吧 -好玩 Huh? That was fun. It's fun.
给你的 For you.
好的 谢谢 There you go. Thank you.
天哪 苏西 Oh, God, Susie.
该死 他妈的 Oh, shit. Oh, fuck.
搞什么 Oh. What the.
是你 是你拔掉了插头 It was you! You pulled the plug?
我的车快没电了 My car's dying!
你个混蛋 What an asshole!
你扔钥匙就是这个下场 伙计 Hey, you tossed, you lost, buddy.
我的天啊 Oh, my God!
杰夫 杰夫 接电话啊 杰夫 接电话 Jeff! Jeff, call mel Jeff, pick upl
杰夫 Jeff!
该死 Shit.
我的天啊 不 Oh, my God. Oh, no.
我的天啊 Oh, my God.
什么 What?
柯南 柯南 Conan! Conanl
-柯南 -老天 Conan! - Jesus!
我知道 我没人引荐 I know, I don't have clearance.
没有 我还没有拿到许可 No clearance. I have no clearance.
我的车 电池没电了 我的车 My car, the battery died. My car- -
-这是我家 -不 我明白的 - This is my house. - No. Oh, I understand.
我的车不走了 这是紧急情况 My ca broke down. It's an emergency
你完全没有授权 This is completely unauthorized.
是啊 我不能有紧急事件豁免吗 Yeah, can'tI get an emergency clearance exemption?
-没有这种东西 -你可以 你可以创造一个 - There's no such thing! - You can- - You- You can make- -
你得通过层层审核 You gotta go through the levels!
不行啊 这是紧急情况 我可以借你的车吗 I can't! It's an emergency! Can I borrow your car?
如果我不去杰夫家 她就会看到那些文件 If I don't get to Jeff's house, she's gonna see those papers,
她会杀了我们的 and she's gonna kill us.
你不知道那女人能干出什么事来 You don't know what this woman's capable of.
好吧 我不知道你说的这些人是谁 AII right, I don't know who these people are.
我去给你拿钥匙 你可以用我的车 I'|| get you the keys. You can use the car.
-行了吧 -什么 AII right? Yeah. - What? Oh! Oh!
你眼镜上有东西 You got something on your glasses.
谢谢 Oh. Oh, thank you!
你人太好了 ·That's so nice of you. - Oh!
-谢谢 -原来在我口袋里 Thank you. - They're in my pocket.
啊 我的眼睛 Ah! My eyel
你为什么要扔 谁让你扔的 Why'd you toss? Who told you to toss?
-多好玩啊 -我的天啊 - It's fun. - Oh, my God!
都结束了 We're done here.
原来迪卡洛并没有什么结肠瘘袋 So, it turns out DiCarlo did not have a colostomy bag.
他表现得好像有个瘘袋似的 He acted like he had a bag.
一个人怎么会表现得像戴着结肠瘘袋似的 How does somebody act like they have a colostomy bag?
他一脸苦瓜样 He had this hangdog
活像是 我在袋子里拉屎 那样 "I shit in a bag"look about him,
然后他带我去了洗车店 and he took me to the cleaners.
车好开吗 How's, uh, how's the car?
真是由内而外的美 It's a beauty on the inside and out.
这让我很开心 因为我省了钱 And it makes me so happy that I saved money.
我现在要去接一个漂亮的女孩 Hmm. And I'm picking up a beautiful girl
-而且很聪明 -什么 你今晚有约会吗 who's really smart and- - Oh, what, you got a date tonight?
她的屁股超赞 我的笑话逗得她咯咯笑 She's hip. She laughs at my jokes.
我是说 她可能就是我的真命天女 You know? I mean, she could be the one.
很难相信 你都这把年纪了 It's hard to believe that at your advanced age,
还在说 真命天女 之类的词 you are still throwing around terms like"the one. "
怎么 难道我就该放弃自己挖个洞躲起来吗 What, am I supposed to just give up and crawl under a rock?
没错 快放弃吧 没希望了 Yes! Give up. There's no hope.
拉里 这是我和这个女人的第一次约会 Larry, this is my first date with this woman.
我太喜欢她了 I have such a crush on her,
我觉得她会疯狂地爱上我 and I think she's gonna fall desperately in love with me.
你这是要去哪家疯人院 Which asylum are you driving to?
长滩的 还是市区的 The one in Long Beach or downtown?
再见 Ciao.
搞什么 我的奶酪去特么哪了 What the hell? Where the hell's the cheese?
-哇哦 -嗨 ·Wow. Hi.
你好啊 美女 很高兴见到你 Hiya, beautiful. Good to see you.
-很高兴见到你 -谢谢你今晚能来 · Good to see you. - Thanks for coming out tonight- -
怎么啦 What?
老天 这里他妈的臭死了 Oh, God! It fucking stinks in here.
什么 你在说什么 What? What are you talking about? - Oh!
这里一点也不臭 你在干什么 It doesn't stink in here. What are you ta- -
你要去哪 Hey, where you going? - Oh!
-到底怎么了 -天啊 ·Hey, what'swrong? - Oh, man!
嘿 快回来 Hey! Come on back!
老天 怎么 怎么回事 Jesus! What the...What the fuck, man?
老天爷 Oh, Christ.