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法院爱侣又回来了 Oh, the courthouse lovers are back.
他们是耍流氓中的小姐 And they're Lady in the Tramping.
我想我还是更喜欢他们刚刚张大嘴巴接吻的样子 I think I liked it better when they were open- mouthed kissing.
这就是坠入爱河的代价吗 Is this what it takes to fall in love?
得从别人嘴里吸被泡软的面条 I have to suck a wet noodle from someone's mouth.
最糟糕的是 我们这儿不卖意大利面 Worst part is, we're not serving spaghetti,
所以面是他们从家里带过来的 so they had to bring that from home,
我说“冰”你说“球” When I say"Hock, "you say"Ey. "
-冰 -球 Hockl Eyl
-冰 -我还想继续 ·Hock! I'd keep going,
但我能感觉到丹看我的眼神里带着杀意 but I can feel the way Dan's looking at me.
我们搞到了游骑兵队比赛的票 We have tickets to a Ranger game.
太好了 否则 那么叫就太蠢了 Great. Otherwise, that chant would have been stupid.
艾比给我们买了这些球衣 Abby got us these jerseys.
“你的名字”看起来你花大价钱定制呢 "Your name"? See you shelled out to personalize it.
这个网站让人很困惑 The web site was very confusing.
我还在不知不觉中订购了一大堆护身裤 I also ordered a ton of jockstraps without realizing it.
上面都写着“你的名字” They also say"your name. "
我也有一些激动人心的计划 I've got some exciting plans, too.
当我说“我”的时候 我还会说“走了” When Isay"I'm, "I say"leaving. "
我 走了 我 走了 I'm leaving, I'm leaving.
顺便说一下 那边那个家伙刚偷了一盘可颂 By the way, the guy over there just stole a tray of croissants,
如果你在乎的话 if you give a puck.
哦 我来吧 Oh. I got this.
你干什么呢 Hey, what do you think you're doing.
还不快亲我 not kissing me?
老葛 这就是为什么你总被传染感冒 Gurgs, this is why you always have a cold.
各位 这是我男朋友 阿利斯泰尔·塔利 Everybody, this is my boyfriend, Alistair Tully,
格雷博格公爵 the Duke of Greybog.
公爵 这是夜间法庭的所有人 Duke, this is the everybody of night court.
夜间是指晚上 That's night with an N.
不是你们说的那种有盔甲和龙的骑士 Not the kind you're used to with the armor and the dragons.
你觉得我的口音恶心吗 And is my accent disgusting to you?
很高兴见到你们 Such a pleasure to meet you.
你们跟我想象的完全不一样 You're all drastically different from what I imagined.
我看起来还挺得住 I may look like I'm holding it together,
但内心却已经开始塌方 but inside I'm reeling. - 5
我也在偷东西哦 Oops. I'm stealing something, too.
我希望没有人过来亲我 I hope nobody comes up and kisses me.
借过我得去亲他一下 Excuse me. I got to go give him a kiss.
好吧 Okay.
我为偷窃这事儿向你道歉 I do apologize for stealing.
我总是忘记买东西是要付钱的 I always forget you have to pay for things.
我们王室成员从不带钱 想找开你祖母 We royals don't carry money. It's quite traumatizing
那辈传下来大额钞票是很痛苦的 trying to make change from your grandmother.
你居然让我大吃一惊 I can't believe you surprised me.
我真不敢相信我们在女厕所做了什么 And I canlt believe what we did in the ladies'room,
我真不敢相信那些可颂是用来做这个的 And I can't believe that's wlat those croissants were for.
我希望你不介意我不请自来 I hope you don't mind that I turned up unannounced.
我只是觉得这比起我们每月一次的海岛游玩来说 I just thought it would be a nice switch- about
是个不错的转变 from our monthly island romps.
每月一次 你是怎么做到 Monthly? How have you managed to do that
-没耽误一关工作的 -和王室成员约会的 without missing a day of work? - One of the perks
好处之一就是我们都被分配了替身 of dating a royal- - we're both assigned body doubles.
在你开口问之前 是的 And before you ask, yes,
我们的替身彼此上过床 our body doubles have had sex with each other.
啊 对不起 大人 Ah. My apologies, My Lord.
我不该把你一个人丢在这个可怕的地方 I never should have left your side in this dreadful place,
法官 这是我的男仆 邓肯 Judge, this is my valet, Duncan.
我从小就认识他了 I have known him since I was in nappies.
他对我来说亲如管家 He is like a butler to me.
我都快感动出表情来了 Ah. I'm moved to the brink of emotion.
哦 很好 Oh, good.
我这边有你和老葛女士的行程 I say, I have your schedule with Lady Gurgs.
今晚 您将享用一顿米其林星级美食 Tonight, you will enjoy a Michelin star nine- course meal
包括可食用的黄金和不可食用的鱼 featuring edible gold and inedible fish.
你说不准 You can't tell which one
哪一种会让你感到恶心 这就是这道菜的刺激之处 is making you nauseous, and that's the excitement of it.
老葛 亲爱的 这周末 我们要去城里玩 Gurgs, my love, this weekend, we're going to hit the town.
为什么要说“打小镇” Why does one say that"hit the town"?
这个小镇调皮捣蛋了吗 Has the town beeni naughty?
啊 很有见地 先生 Ah! Quite a brilliant observation, sir.
没错 您简直就是杰罗姆·宋飞 Yes, you're a regular Jerome Seinfeld, as it were.
确实如此 先生 Yada yada indeed, sir.
现在 找们去换衣服吃晚饭吧 Now, shall we get you changed for dinner?
哦 好吧 起 Oh, all right. Uppiesl
对 Yes. Ah!
好吧 Oh! All right.
好 我马上就回来见你 亲爱的 Well, I shall see you presently, my love.
我真的很喜欢他 他真是很有公爵范儿 I really like him. And he's such a duke.
他自己带桌布耶 I mean, he brings his own tablecloth.
我也经常出远门 我连牙刷都不自带 I've been on trips, and I didn't even bring my own toothbrush.
嗯 他是最棒的 但说实话 Yeah, he's the best. But if I'm being honest,
有时候我真希望我们只是我和阿利斯泰尔 there are times when I wish it was just me and Alistair
而不是格雷博格公爵和哈肯萨克的老葛女士 and not the Duke of Greybog and Lady Gurgs of Hackensack.
我理解 I get that.
在家的时候 我常帮市长遛狗 Back home, I used to walk the mayor's dog.
所以 是的 我也近距离感受到了权力 So, yeah, I've felt the proximity to power, too.
我又该说什么呢 I mean, what am I going to say?
让我们去看冰球比赛吧 放弃在自由女神像的 "Let's go to a hockey game instead of a once- in- a- lifetime
火炬下享受千载难逢的晚餐体验 dining experience in the Statue of Liberty's torch? "
你可以这么说啊 冰球很棒 他见过磨冰机吗 You could, hockey's great. Has he seen a Zamboni?
你能体会到以割草机的速度驾驶汽车的乐趣 It's all the fun of a car with the speed of a lawn mower.
算了 别听我的 You know, don't even listen to me.
公爵和我进展很不错 The Duke and I have a good thing going.
这是人们会放弃《金装律师》里的配角 It's the type of romance people leave
也会想要的那种浪漫 a supporting role on"Suits"for.
如果你不需要我 If you won't be needing me,
那我还是赶紧回丽笙酒店吧 I'll just bugger on back to the Radisson then.
我不管你对税收政策有多生气 I don't care how mad you are about taxes,
总之你都不能从星巴克偷茶 you can't steal tea from a Starbucks
倒进哈德逊河里 罚款50美元 and dump it in the Hudson. $500 fine.
干得好 亲爱的 Well done, my love.
把那个叛徒抓起来 给我鼓鼓掌 拜托了 邓肯 Book that traitor! Clappies, please, Duncan.
好 Oh, yes.
那家伙干啥的 他是那种不爱说话的狱警吗 What's up with that guy? Is he one of those no talky guards?
看着我 我什么都没说啊 Look at me. I'm not saying anything.
你应该和他约会 奥利维亚 Well, you should date him, Olivia.
你们是天生一对 You're perfect for each other.
他不说话 你从来不听人说话 He doesn't talk, and you don't listen.
我觉得他可能很适合我 You know, I think he might be perfect for me.
他不说话 我从来不听人说话 He doesn't talk and I don't listen.
我还挺喜欢这些奢华英国人的 I kind of like having these fancy Brits around.
多来点詹姆斯·邦德 少来点保释 More James Bond, less bail bond.
你知道吗 那个人整晚都在 You know, that one's been giving you dirty
-给你脸色看 -嗯 他什么毛病 looks all night. - Yeah. What's his problem?
也许他讨厌你的脸 Maybe he hates your face. - Mm.
嘿《长日留痕》你瞅啥呢 Hey, "Remains of the Day, "what's your deal?
如果你非要知道的话 Well, if you must know,
我讨厌你那张蠢脸 I hate your stupid face.
我喜欢他加了个蠢字 I like that he added"stupid. "
你不会恰好姓埃尔摩吧 Any chance would your surname be Elmore?
埃尔摩 没错 Elmore? Yes.
那是几代人以前的事了 那时英国还举足轻重 It was generations ago, when the UK was relevant.
哦 好吧 既然这样 你就乖乖地下地狱吧 Oh. Well, in that case, be a good chap and burn in hell,
你这叛徒猪 you traitors pig!
这已经是今天第三次有人这么叫你了 You know, that's the third time somebody called you that today.
但他的口音让我想知道为什么 But his accent makes me want to know why.
我们两家的恩怨可以追溯到几个世纪前 Well, our families have a feud going back centuries.
是这样的 埃尔摩一家 You see, the Elmores were varlets
是英国豪门的仆人 to the great houses of England.
直到他们像懦夫一样可耻地放弃了 That is, until they abandoned their posts shamefully,
自己的职责 不是去前线服务 like cowards, rather than serve on the front lines.
让我捋捋啊 你生我的气 Let me get this straight. You're mad at me
是因为我的祖先没有参加战争吗 because my ancestors skipped out on fighting in a war?
我可没说参战 I never said"fight. "
我说的是服务 I said"serve. "
你们埃尔摩家族的人跑了 You Elmores ran away,
让我们的孩子们没有甜点吃 leaving our boys with no desserts.
那饿肚子的声音会跟着你进坟墓的 Those tummy rumbles shall follow you to your grave.
那是我见过的最粗鲁的服务员 That is the rudest waiter I've ever met.
卡布奇诺软糖豆啊 Ooh! Cappuccino jellybean,
你犯下名为美味的罪过 you are guilty of being delicious.
我要把你扔进监狱 I'm throwing you in the slammer.
有软糖跑了 哦 We got a runner. Oh.
抱歉在用餐时间打扰您 Sorry to interrupt during meal time.
五秒规则 这是我的最后一个卡布奇诺软糖了 Five- second rule. It's my last cappuccino.
确实 你见到老葛了吗 Indeed. Have you seen Gurgs?
我们有个晚餐约会 她的马车在等着了 We have a dinner date and her carriage awaits.
这是一辆由柯基犬拉的马车 It is a carriage drawn by corgis.
没有什么能比被一只一步只能迈三厘米的动物 Nothing quite matches the pleasure of being pulled
拉着走更快乐的了 along by an animal with a one- inch stride.
我会帮你盯着点 I'll keep an eye out.
你要知道 在这个国家 吃掉到地板上的东西 Just so you know, eating off the floor in this country
是很正常的 你随便问问就知道了 is totally normal. Ask anyone.
别问 Don't ask anyone.
我觉得你们用争取来的自由 Well, I think it's tremendous
所做的一切真是太了不起了 what you people have done with your freedom.
有人在这个壁橱里玩电子游戏吗 Is someone playing a video game in this closet?
老葛 Gurgs?
艾比 看到了吗 我也能做到 Abby? See? I could do it, too.
真喜欢你找的这个新地方 绝佳的疗愈之所 Love your new place. It's a real fixer- downer.
-这是怎么了 -我不知道 What's going on? - I don't know.
我绝对不是在躲我男朋友 哈 I'm definitely not hiding from my boyfriend. Ha!
你为什么会这么想 Why would you think that?
是因为我看起来压力有点大 需要休息一下吗 Because I'm a little stressed and I need a little break?
你听起来有种癫感 You sound crazy.
很高兴知道不是因为那个 Good to know it's not that, but if it was
但如果是因为阿利斯泰尔 because Alistair showed up unannounced
带着王室随从突然出现搅乱了你的周末计划 with a royal entourage and blew up your weekend plans,
我能理解的 I'd understand.
你确定不想直接告诉他你的感受吗 You sure you don't want to just tell him how you feel?
还有 跟他解释一下美国的五秒法则 Also, explain that the American five- second rule
是当下流行的医学智慧 is prevailing medical wisdom.
跟他说也没用 Talking to him won't do any good.
他是皇室成员 这事儿他没法改变 He's a royal. He can't change that.
好吧 但这不是长久之计 Okay, but this is not a long- term solution.
我担心这些清洁用品刺鼻的味道 I'm worried that fumes from these cleaning supplies
会导致清洁损伤 are going to cause brand dimage.
抱歉 我想说的是导致大脑垃圾 Sorry, I meant to say brain garage.
也许我是该说点什么 Maybe I should say something.
我只想说 我不需要那么华丽的场面 I'lI just say I need a little less pomp and circumstance.
你在这儿呢 威风凛凛和我 There you arel Pomp and Circumstance and I
担心得要死 have been worried sick.
这是什么鬼地方 What is this ghastly place?
威风 凛凛 遮住你们的眼睛 Pomp, Circumstance, shield your eyes.
这只是 是 This is just, um...It's, uh...
是我的鬼地方 嗯 Oh, it's my ghastly place. Yeah.
我只是进来休息的 戴上帽子 I just come in here and I kick back, put on my hat,
喝我的 and I drink my...
-酸奶 -嗯 yogurt? l- Yeah.
很不错的室温发酵奶 Yeah, I love me a nice room temp yog.
你们美国人是怎么挑选法官的 How do you Americans select your judges?
男生女生向前冲吗 Is it by game show?
嘿 士兵 没人告诉过你 Hey, soldier, hasn't anyone ever told you
盯着别人看是不礼貌的吗 it's not polite to stare?
也许沉默才是情感真正绽放的地方 You know, maybe silence is where emotions truly thrive.
你好深沉 Wow. You are so deep.
你能相信那个英国黄鼠狼 Can you believe that British weasel holding a grudge
对我家族30年前做过的事耿耿于怀吗 for something that my family did 300 years ago?
这里是美国 This is America.
你应该根据一个人的行为来憎恨他 A man should be hated based upon his own actions.
我一开始是在 I mean, I started as the oil boy
世界咖啡馆做油漆工 frying beignets at Cafe Du Monde,
然后一步步成为了一名受人尊敬的律师 and I've climbed my way up to being a very respected lawyer.
一位有工作的律师 A very employed lawyer.
据此 有些人认为埃尔摩一家 According to this some people believe
是被人使诈抛弃了他们的工作 the Elmores were tricked into abandoning their posts
这样邓肯一家就能偷走最好的仆人工作了 so the Duncans could steal the best valet jobs.
天啊 所以他是说我的家人都是哭哭啼啼的懦夫 Golly, so he's saying that my family were sniveling cowards
但实际上他们是容易上当受骗的白痴 when all they were were just gullible idiots.
如果你的家人有好好学习多年 If your family studied for years,
他们不可能上升到易受骗的白痴的水平 they couldn't rise to the level of gullible idiots.
你从哪儿弄来的那只手套 Where did you get that glove?
-从我的沙拉里吃出来的 -呃 - It was in my salad. - Ugh.
扇出那一巴掌之后 你引发了一系列 With that slap, you've set in motion a series of events
无法挽回的事件 from which you cannot turn back.
我很清楚我做了什么 Yeah, I know exactly what I did.
我到底做了什么来着 What exactly did I do? -
你刚挑战了他进行男仆决斗 You just challenged him to a valet- off.
天啊 这是正经决斗啊 Oh, my God, it's a duel.
丹 你可能得杀个人了 Dan, you might have to kill a guy.
啊 什么 Ah! What?
抱歉 我应该先读完的 Sorry. Should have kept reading.
这是一场礼仪的较量 It's a duel of decorum.
老天 我们老是没机会杀人 Man, we never get to kill anyone.
用手套扇人怎么 Why does slapping people with gloves
老是给我带来最蠢的事啊 always involve me in the stupidest things?
你从地上吃升级到垃圾桶里吃了哟 Ah, I see you've moved up from the floor to the bin.
对 但我在垃圾桶上方吃 没吃里面捡的 Yes, but I'm eating over the trash, not out of it.
我想来得到点建议 I was hoping for some advice.
我能看出晚餐时老葛肯定有心事 I could see that something was bothering Gurgs
她都没对我的旅行弄臣笑 at dinner, she hardly cracked a smile at my travel jester.
我还从没见过他像这样 And I've never seen him smash tomatoes
朝自己脸上砸番茄 on his face quite like that.
呃不 要不试点普通人会干的事吧 Um, no. Maybe try to do something more normal.
我想想 呃 老葛很想去 Like, uh, Gurgs was really looking forward
-冰球比赛 -冰球 to going to a hockey game. - Hockey?
我们想出来捉弄加拿大人的运动 The sport we made up to prank Canadians?
你可以用我的票和球衣 You can take my tickets and my jersey.
那后面写了你的名字 It says"your name"on the back.
-哦 我的名字 -不 你的名字 - Oh, myname? - No. "Your name. "
-是啊 我的名字 -不 是这个词你的名字 - Yes, my name. - No. The words"your name. "
-噢 这上面写着你的名字 -真的吗 ·Oh, it says"your name. "- It does?
好吧 那就去冰球比赛吧 Well, hockey match it is.
我叫邓肯把柯基备好 I'll have Duncan ready the corgis.
行吧 感觉你好像还是没懂 Okay. I feel like you're not totally getting
-什么叫普通人 -我是没懂 the concept of normal. - I'm not getting it.
我啥也没懂 我只会微笑点头 I don't get anything. I just smile and nod
等有人来帮我 until somebody helps me.
好吧好吧 我来帮你 但先说好了 Okay, okay, I'll help you. But I'm warning you.
一旦你融入普通人了 就没有回头路 Once you wade into normal, there is no turning back.
会很糟的 It's gonna suck.
噢吼 会感觉特别特别糟的 Oh- oh, it's gonna suck real hard.
你能行吗 公爵 You think you can handle it, the Duke?
我不行也得行 为了老葛 Well, I have to, for Gurgs.
给我展现普通人的生活吧 你个肮脏的无名小卒 Show me your normal ways, you filthy nobody!
看呐 这可是皇家餐具 Behold the royal cutlery.
要想有个干净的勺子 还得从英国空运过来 To get a clean spoon, we had to fly it in from England.
你真的要参加这仆人比赛 You're seriously going through with this valet- off?
不 才不会 Nah, it's not happening.
显然我们得有个有皇室血统的公正裁判 Apparently you need an impartial judge with royal blood.
这地方上哪儿找去啊 Where are we finding one of those in this place?
好消息 我在这地方找到一位 Good news. I found one of those in this place.
容我向你们介绍肯尼斯 德文郡的勋爵 May I present Kenneth, Lord of Devonshire.
肯尼 他从谁那里继承的头衔啊 Kenny? From whom did he descend?
奶品皇后冰淇淋店吗 The Dairy Queen?
事实证明他真有皇室血统 Turns out he actually has royal blood.
有个先知预言 他未来有天会登上王位 An oracle prophesized he would one day ascend the throne.
所以一个好心的伐木工把他送到这里 So a kindhearted woodsman sent him here
以保护他免受他狡猾的叔叔的伤害 to protect him from his duplicitous uncle.
我喜欢果冻 I like Jell- O.
听着 我没法再干一件普通人干的事了 Look, I simply cannot do another normal thing.
你表现挺好的呀 But you're doing great.
你上了乔氏超市的厕所 You've used a bathroom at a Trader Joe's.
你让一条狗闻你 还让一个人闻你 You let a dog sniff you. You let a man sniff you.
那居然是个人 我还揉了他的肚子 That was a man? I rubbed his belly!
这是你变成普通人的最后一站了 Your journey to normal finishes here.
-地牢 -更糟 是地铁 - A dungeon? - Much worse. A subway.
绝对不行 不 Absolutely not. No!
我的头衔在地底下毫无意义 Beneath the surface of the Earth, my title means nothing.
这是老鼠的地盘 统治它们的国王是另一位 This is a rat's domain! They serve a different king.
你怕了 也应该的 You're scared. And you should be.
你会被人挤到 You will get bumped into.
你会踩到奇怪的水坑 You will step in mystery puddles.
你会出现在短视频的背景里 You will end up in the background of a TikTok,
所有评论都会说 and all the comments will be,
嘿 那个奇怪的老太太怎么在吸食 "Hey, what's with the weird old lady sucking crumbs
薯片袋里的碎屑 哈哈 out of a bag of chips? LOL"
而且你知道这 都是因为一帮昔客堡门口的 And you'll only find out because a group of teens
青少年会对你大喊 outside of Shake Shack will yell,
嘿 老太太 你薯片袋呢 "Hey, old lady, where's your chip bag? "
这就是普通人的样子 And that's being normal.
也是我见过你的地方 That's where I've seen you.
这闸机另一头就是你的终点了 Your destiny lies beyond that turnstile.
但那脏东西碰到过 But that filthy thing's touched
这城市每个人的胯部啊 every crotch in the city! Ah.
正是这让纽约成为世上最棒的地方 That's what makes New York the greatest place on Earth.
因为我们胯部都紧密相连 We're all joined at the crotch.
行了 继续走啊 我在给公爵上一课呢 Okay. Keep walking. I'm teaching a duke a lesson!
好吧 至少这结束后 Well, all right, at least when it's over,
我能乘上地铁了 I'll be on the subway train.
我想那一定很棒 And I assume that's quite lovely.
对啊 那当然 Yeah, sure.
噢 这我扔了 Oh! That's gone!
这得烧掉 That has to be burnt.
这只是 It's just a matter of-
我是说 我只要 我简简单单 I mean, all I have to do is- - I simply- -
我是说 很显然嘛 我 不 我做不到 I mean, it's obvious. I- - No, I can't do it.
我放弃了 抬我回家吧 I give up, carry me home.
嘿 想想老葛吧 Hey, do it for Gurgs.
没错 Yes.
为了老葛 For Gurgs!
前进 Tally- ho!
我是个普通人了 I'm a normal.
老铁 你错过好戏了 Girl, you're missing it.
丹用橡胶手套打的那人 Dan's getting spanked by the guy he hit
狠狠赢他了呀 with the rubber glove.
餐巾挑战中 邓肯把餐巾叠成了 For the napkin challenge, Duncan folded his
完美的天鹅形状 丹的餐巾着火了 into a perfect swan, and Dan's caught fire.
终极挑战来了 Time for the final challenge.
服侍英式茶点 The English tea service.
你也可以不挑战 You may as well run away.
毕竟埃尔摩家族最会逃跑了 After all, that is what Elmores do best.
不 邓肯 埃尔摩家的人当时没有逃跑 No, Duncan, because the Elmores didn't run then,
他们这次也不会怯馁 and they're not running now.
我就站这里 看着你优雅有尊严地 I am going to stand here and watch you kick my ass
打败我 with poise and dignity.
你要是哭了 我会让他们都走人 If you cry, I'll clear the room.
我们都在为你加油 丹 We're really pulling for you, Dan.
好吧 只有我一个人 Okay, I'm pulling for you.
我们回车里再谈 We will talk about this in the car.
埃尔摩 你可要知道我从没倒出来过一滴茶 Elmore, you should know I've never spilled a drop
上大学时 我大一就是 At university, I was a starter
服侍茶点校队的创始人了 on the varsity tea service team as a freshman.
好吧 嗯 速战速决吧 AII right, well, let's get this over with.
我的老天啊 Oh, my goodness.
我弄断它 然后用胶水粘回去 What are the odds that I would break it
你觉得这概率有多大 and then sort of glue it back together again?
这茶有皇室规定的95摄氏度 The tea is a royal standard 95 degrees Celsius.
或用你们美国人的话说 烫死了 兄弟 Or as you Americans might say, it's freaking hot, bro.
你不知道我的这面 邓肯 Something you don't know about me, Duncan.
我是世界咖啡馆见过被热油烫伤最严重的人 I am the most scalded oil boy in Cafe Du Monde history.
这双手被热油炸过 These hands have been deep fried.
他们布满老茧 可以说什么也 They're nothing but callous, and they feel practically...
感觉不到 nothing.
帕丁顿熊的果酱啊 他怎么做到的 Paddington's marmalade! How is he doing that?
嘿 看着点皇冠上的宝石 林戈 Hey, watch the crown jewels there, Ringo!
啊 我倒出来了 Ah! I have dribbled.
我有失风度 I'm disgraced.
我输给埃尔摩家的人了 我就是个小丑 I have lost to an Elmore. I am no more than a buffoon.
都别看我 Don't look at mel
那你算是赢了咯 - I guess you won. -
你可以把茶壶放下来了 You can probably put the teapot down.
放不下来 焊我手上了 I cannot. I think it is a part of me forever.
渴吗 Thirsty?
瞧瞧这个普通人 除了从垃圾桶里捡吃的 Look at this normal guy doing everything
什么都干了 but eating out of the trash.
我和老葛会玩的很开心的 Gurgs and I are going to have so much fun.
我还练习了美式笑容呢 I've even practiced an American laugh.
阿利斯泰尔 你怎么打扮成这样 Alistair, why are you dressed like that?
你又要捉弄加拿大人了吗 Are you pranking Canadians again?
亲爱的 我要带你来一次你的梦中约会 My love, I'm taking you on the date of your dreams- -
乘地铁去看游骑兵队比赛 a subway ride to the Rangers game.
你朋友也可以来 以防万一 And your friend can even tag along in case
我们有吃的掉地上 we drop some food on the ground.
天啊 这 Oh, my God, this is.
-这 -正是你想要的 This is- - - Exactly what you wanted?
因为你为我改变了 这 Uh- huh. Because you changed for me, and that's- -
很棒 贴心 可爱 Good? Sweet? Adorable?
每个都占了 我没崩溃啊 AlI of it. I'm not freaking out!
我喘不过气是因为我高兴死了 My chest is tight because I'm happy!
我得走了 Ah! I got to go.
老葛 回来 Gurgs, come back!
你的土鳖朋友不用非得一起去的 Your dirt friend doesn't need to come with us.
这里没人只有拖把 There's no one here, just us mops.
难道我会不想开门看看会讲话的拖把吗 Think I wouldn't open this door to see talking mops?
刚刚咋回事 What happened back there?
从来没人为我这样改变 I've never had anyone change like that for me.
他要是发现我爱窝在拖把间 爱喝酸奶这一面 But what if he sees the mop closet yogurt junky side of me
然后他 他意识到不值得为我改变咋办 and he- he realizes I wasn't worth changing for?
这么说吧 人就和比比多味豆一样 You know, people are like jelly beans.
只要你找对了口味 When you find your flavor, you love them
就算它们满是纤维 even if they're covered in lint
因为它们进了好几回烘干机 because they've been through the dryer cycle
你也会爱它们的 a couple of times.
你 老葛 就是烤棉花糖味 You, Gurgs, you're toasted marshmallow.
你就是大家的最爱口味 You're everyone's favorite flavor.
他们要是不爱你 那就被薄荷糖噎死吧 If they don't like you, they can choke on a Tic Tac.
你这么说因为你是我朋友 You have to say that. You're my friend.
-但我不是 对吧 -别听我说的 ·But I don't, do I? - Don't listen to me.
-听听你自己说的 -我不是你好朋友 Listen to you. I'm not your mate.
我只是个彻底的陌生人 恰好把你研究的透彻 I'm a perfect stranger who had to study you inside and out,
我觉得你是个超棒的女士 and I think you're a wonderful lady.
信我的 你值得他人为你改变 Take it from me. You are worth changing for.
连我都想不出比这更好的话了 I couldn't have said it better myself.
真的吗 Really?
嗯 我应该告诉你这事 Well, there's something you should know.
这不是艾比的储物柜 是我的 This isn't Abby s closet. It's mine.
我承受不了事情时 会来这里 When the world is too much, I come in here,
打游戏 用这个喝东西 play video games, and drink out of this.
我们可以一起用这个喝 We drink out of this. -
我也要承认件事 I also have an admission.
我第一眼看到闸机 When I first saw the turnstile,
我觉得它会同时摩擦我的前面和屁股 I thought it might rub my front and my bum at the same time
就一点儿也不想走了呢 and I would never want to leave.
噢 我男人真是个怪人 爱死了 Oh, my man is a freak, and I love it.
我们该出去 I think we should get out of here
给他俩点隐私吧 and give these two some privacy.
噢抱歉 好像还没问你的名字 Oh, sorry, I don't think I got your name.
-老贾 -噢 假老葛的简称咯 Fergs. - Oh, "Furgs”for Fake Gurgs.
贾格森的简称 我也是个人 笨蛋老美 For Ferguson. I'm a person, you dumb yank.
我就是伟大的埃尔摩 家族最强大的后裔 It is I, Elmore the Great, strongest of my line,
也是卑鄙家伙的杀手 slayer of simpering sneaks.
说到这个 About that. Hmm.
我又研究了下 I did more research.
事实上 1426年 埃尔摩家族 Turns out, in 1426, the Elmores were saved
幸免于吊桥坍塌 from a drawbridge collapse
并向他们的救命恩人发誓效忠 and pledged eternal fealty to their saviors,
-也就是德文郡家族 -德文郡家族 the Devonshires. The Devonshires.
这不是肯尼的姓吗 Isn't that Kenny's last name?
正是 Indeed.
我现在是你老大了 老丹 I'm your boss now, D- dog.
帮我搓澡 Draw me a bath.
再在里面画个女士 And draw a lady in it, too.
我又一想埃尔摩家的人都死光了 On second thought, the Elmores are dead.
我现在是新世界的菲尔丁 I am Fielding of the New World.
行啊 反正我也不想嫁给你 Fine. I didn't want to marry you anyway.
但我本来还想在巴斯户外体育用品世界 But I was so looking forward to registering
注册呢 at the Bass Pro Shops.
我知道我要说的很疯狂 但先听着 Look, I know this is crazy, but just listen.
我爱你 I love you.
我真的爱你 I really do.
啊 这有点像老样子 不是吗 Ah, that's a bit of the ol' all right, ain't it?
怎么回事 你怎么开口了 What's happening? Why are you talking?
因为我下班了 亲爱的 Because I'm off the clock, love.
怎么说 我们去酒吧喝一杯吗 So, shall we, uh, bugger off down the pub for a pint?
还是回你公寓 来点你平时 e Or head back to your flat for a bit of the old
干的 嘿 how d'you do, hey?
不 不 万万不行 不 Nope, nope. No, no, no, nope. Nope.
我听说你喜欢英国人啊 So, I hear you're in the British guys.
你就算安静如鸡也不行 Not for all the silence in the world.